Monday...Without Books. :(

Mood: Tired and a bit cranky (probably best to keep a safe no fly zone distance away from me today). 

It's Monday - which would possibly normally mean that it's time for another book review - but not today. Because today is a Monday without books. :-(

Okay, so not exactly a day without books - anyone who knows me knows that I've got three book shelves and a Nook filled with books so there are obviously books everywhere in my world. The problem is that I haven't finished reading anything in the past week that would lead me to say "YAY!! I must review this book on my blog! I just have to let others know about the awesomeness contained in these pages!!!"

Sigh. The truth is that I've been an epic failure as a reader. I partially blame my Nook. I love it. It's cute, and it's color and it allows me to have access to every.single.book I want to read. On the surface, this seems like a very good thing. In reality? Not so much.

Before I had my Nook, book shopping was an event. I would only get to visit a Book Store once in a great while. There are no book stores in my town so time had to be set aside to drive the 40 minutes to the nearest town with a large bookstore (my personal fave is B&N) and then I had to set aside a certain amount of money that I was allowed to spend on my book buying (because I have an ever so tiny book addiction and a very tight budget). THEN, I had to actually peruse the shelves and find books that I wanted to read that A. I could afford and B. I could find in less than the amount of time it would take my hubs to lose his mind waiting for me to find my books.

This plan worked for me. I had to decide what books I wanted to read and could afford in a relatively (by my standards - don't ask the hubs) short amount of time. Sometimes my choices were based on recommendations or my liking an author but most of the time my choices were made based on the shiny covers and the blurb on the back of the book jacket. I would take the books home, read them - like them or not - and that was the end of it.

NOW - I have all the books I could ever want available to be downloaded 24 hours a day! I can download samples, read the first few pages at my leisure and decide if I want to buy it to read the rest. Unfortunately I still have the small matter of a tight budget to consider - so what happens? I read sample after sample - wondering if each book, no matter how promising, might not be as good as the NEXT book sample I read. I worry that some night in a book nerd fueled frenzy I'll end up spending all of our bill money on downloading all the shiny looking new YA books and then hubs and I will end up sitting in the dark eating bologna by candlelight and not in the 16 candles romantic Jake Ryan way but more in the "I hate you and want a divorce" War of the Roses way.

Sigh. So, my fellow bloggie friends, anyone have any great recommendations? Something you've read recently that just knocked your socks off and you just have to share?

WIP Wednesday

Mood: Mad and sad - I'm SMAD (got some not so great news about someone I care about this afternoon)

I've been working the edits on Legacy and, while working the edits I've discovered that there are major parts that just don't work, chapters that are in the wrong places and entire plot sections that need to be disposed of.

While working on cutting, ripping and tearing bits and pieces apart I've also discovered that the creative part of my brain isn't willing to rest quietly while my internal editor wrestles over word choices and timelines. Oh no. She wants her voice heard as well.

Creative Brain: Wouldn't it be awesome if we added 'completely awesome but complicated storyline idea'?

Me: Uh yeah, that would be awesome but to do that I'd have to re-write the entire book almost from the beginning.

CB: So?

Me: So? So that's a heck of a lot of work and I'm not sure I can do that kind of rewrite on this story.

CB: So you just want your story to suck then?

Me: No

CB: You must, you want to suck. Suckity, suckity, suck.

Me: Look, you don't have to do the work - it's not easy doing that kind of change

CB: LALALALALALALALA I can't heeeaaarrrr you! Suckity, suckity, suck!

So, yeah - that's what's going on in  my writing world - what about yours?

Dan Quayle Was Here?

Status: Crazy stressed (lots going on, not enough time or sanity to go around)

On tv: Addicted (Another intervention type show - wondering if my slight obsession with reality tv could be considered an addiction. Maybe I need an intervention?)

The hubs took me out to dinner tonight because, well, I was having a bad day and he knew that if I didn't feel like cooking, dinner prep would fall to him  he loves me and wanted to pamper me. It was steak night at the restaurant that he chose - so YAY!! Sorry, but I seriously loves me some steak! :)

However, when we sat down at the table and I glanced at the "special" steak menu, I felt my eye start to twitch. The special menu listed the different types of steaks one might order along with the note that each meal came complete with a salad, a dessert and my choice of POTATOE.

Really? You run a restaurant and you don't know how to spell "potato"? *sigh* I tried to ignore it. I tried to convince myself it didn't matter if the word was spelled wrong but really, it does matter. I couldn't sit there and eat at a table where the little standing menu proclaimed that I could have a potatoe.

So, I did what any self respecting writer would do. I pulled my favorite pen out of my purse, removed the paper insert and scribbled out the "e" at the end of the word. Finally all was right in my world and I could enjoy my dinner.

Tomorrow, I'm totally fixing the sign outside the local market advertising the fact that they "except" debit cards.

I seriously suspect my hubs has the local insane asylum on speed dial.

Enter The Duck-Man

Mood: Happy (I've had a great weekend w/ the hubs enjoying the nice spring weather!)

What I'm Watching: Kirstie Alley's Big Life (Seriously? I think I need a reality TV intervention but watching Kirstie Alley getting a Twitter intervention is just too funny!)

If you were a pre-teen/teen in the 80's then there's little doubt that you were well aquainted with phenomenon that was the John Hughes teenage movie. The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off - they're all absolutely amazing and if you were born after the 80's and haven't yet seen them, you should run right out to your local video store and rent them. If you were a teen in the 80's and you haven't seen them? What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Anyway, while they're all great, what's been sticking in the back of my mind for the last few days is the Mollie Ringwald/Jon Cryer classic "Pretty In Pink".

For those of you heathens who are unfamiliar with the magical genius that is "Pretty In Pink", the movie is a basic love triangle (but with a kick ass 80's sound track and hello? Jon Cryer). Mollie Ringwald plays Andie - a poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who is constantly accompanied (and semi-stalked) by her friend Duckie (played brilliantly by Jon Cryer) who is totally and utterly in love with her. Then, of course, what teenage drama would be complete withouat the totally cool, completely awesome, popular and rich guy - in this case we have Blane (played by Andrew McCarthy).

At the end of the movie, Andie ends up with Blane. Blane. Yes, I know I totally just gave away the ending of the movie - too damn bad, you've had over 20 years to watch it!

Ahem, anyway, Andie ends up with Blane but every woman I know, knows that she totally should have ended up with Duckie. Duckie might not have been as rich or classically handsome as Blane but the  Duck Man was totally there for her no matter what. He was even gracious in defeat - if being with Blane was going to make Andie happy? Duckie was totally willing to step aside and let her be happy with Blane.

*Sigh* How romantic right? So how could she not have ended up with Duckie? The truth is that, orginally, Andie did end up with Duckie but that ending didn't play well in front of test audiences. They wanted Andie to end up with Blane so the ending was changed because it was thought it would "play better" for the film audience.

So I know you're asking yourself "what does this have to do with anything?" Possibly nothing and possibly everything. Like many writers I write and I worry that what I write isn't good enough. I plot and I worry that the plots won't make sense to the reader - that they won't "get it". I think about the query process and I get knots in my stomach because I know that the process will bring with it tons of rejection.

But really, does any of that matter? I mean, sure, it would be great if every agent, reader and critic totally loved everything I write but ultimately the stories are mine. Taking constructive criticism is a necessary part of the writing process but pleasing everyone along the path is not. I totally need to remember that sometimes? A girl needs to end up with her Duckie no matter what the test audiences think!

Finding Your Fun and Embracing Your Awesome!

Mood: Meh (It's been a long week...a very long week, but this weekend is a three day holiday weekend so things are looking up.)

What I'm Watchin?g: It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown (Seriously, what a classic and Woodstock? Totally has a happening pad!)

When I was a little kid with lopsided  ponytails and really bad 70's polyester clothing I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be the gas station attendant who checked the oil, pumped the gas and, best of all, washed the windows with the super cool squeegee. Why? Because it just looked like fun. The guy was always smiling, always whistling and, besides, hello? The squeegee!

I never considered whether I would make enough money to support myself, whether people would look down on me for working at a gas station, whether I'd look good in that blue and white striped shirt with my name embroidered on it or whether it was a job that I would be good at...I wanted to do it because it looked like it would be fun. 

Writing started out in much the same way. It was a fun and creative way to entertain myself. I wrote fantastically horrible stories that I was just sure were pure literary genius and I was happy. At some point, though, I allowed some of the fun to be sucked out of the writing experience.  I allowed people to tell me that I shouldn't or couldn't write - that it was silly and a waste of time. I allowed myself to internalize those messages and began to doubt everything about my writing. Eventually I decided it would be easier if I just kept my writing to myself.

I was so scared someone would find out about my shameful secret that I even hid it from the hubs. When he moved in with me I actually threw out several notebooks filled with years worth of notes, story starters, ideas, etc. because I was so afraid that he'd find it and think that I was stupid or silly or whatever other horrible thing that I was afraid of. Yes, I realize now just how stupid that was (stupid, stupid, stupid)* because, the hubs is incredibly supportive and he nearly cried when I confessed that I'd tossed out so much of my work because I didn't want him to think I was stupid for wanting to write.

Now, I'm working on rediscovering the 'fun' in my writing and trying to learn to embrace my inner awesome. After all, writers are completely awesome people - we get to create and manipulate worlds using nothing more than our imaginations and simple words - what could be cooler than that? Want to learn more about your inner awesome? Check out Tawna Fenske's blog post about it. Really. Do it. Now!

So while I may not have a squeegee or a shirt with my name on it, I've got a totally cool laptop and my livescribe pen? Is just made of awesome!

What about you? Have you found your fun and embraced your inner awesome?

*slapping self on forehead kind of stupid

Randomness on a Wednesday

Mood: Relieved (had to go to the doctor earlier and I have major white coat syndrome...which basically mean that I'm a big old chicken who is terrified of doctors)

What I'm Watching: Mythbusters (turns out that my mom was right. Duct tape really can be used to fix just about anything)

I've been a major blog slacker lately so I thought I'd just do a quick catch up with some random bloggy type thoughts

• The healthcare bill. Sigh. Love it. Hate it. Whatever. But let's stop calling names and acting like it's either the best thing since sliced bread or the end of the world as we know it. Congressmen and women? I'm totally looking at you here too. You set the tone for the country and if you act like a bunch of petulant children how can you expect the nation as a whole to work together? Seriously considering sending my mother to Washington to put them all in time out until they get their act together!

• Vice President Biden dropped the *f-bomb* The big one. The F--- word. It's probably wrong that I giggled when he did it but it kind of reminded me of the time I caught my very demure, very proper grandmother flashing the finger at someone who cut me off when I was driving her to her doctor appointment. Besides, tell me that it didn't remind you of this moment:

                       

• I discovered that I'm not only sensitive to aspertame but also to splenda. Is it so difficult to develop an artificial sweetener that is calorie free, tastes like sugar and that doesn't make me feel like there's a gremlin trying to claw its way out of my stomach? I didn't think so. Seriously. Get to work food type scientists!

• People find my blog by searching the most bizarre things..."Red Lobster Staff", "Olympic sized" and "I'm looking for a filled out conference form" are a few of my favorites. My blog is obviously a bit too random.

•  I suspect that my 7 year old nephew may watch a little too much Food Network as evidenced by his recent request "I'd like some red wine with a side of couscous, please."

• I had another random point here...really I did. I've thought of it no less than four times but each time I've managed to forget it as soon as it popped into my head. So, obviously a final thought would be that my medication severely interferes with my short term memory function.

Life With a Mad Scientist

Mood: Out of Sorts (I assure you, this is a mood...and it's not exactly pleasant)

What I'm Watching: The Smoking Gun Presents The World's Dumbest...(How did I not know about this show before? Seriously? It's just made of so much epic fail that it's a complete win!!)

I've blogged before about the hubs and his obsession with electronics. While I'm hard at work on my current work in progress goofing off on the interwebs he's designing and building his own circuit boards.

This is the type of stuff he gets up to...he starts with a plain copper board and then does something like this:

Most of the time I don't pay much attention to what he's doing because, frankly, when he starts talking about circuits and transistors and diodes his voice suddenly sounds like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons and I have no idea what language he's actually speaking.

However, tonight I've been sitting here at the computer, vaguely frustrated with the way my wip is going (or not going) and I've found myself watching the hubs putting the finishing touches on his latest project. He's put all the pieces together and is now in the "testing" phase...just checking that everything works the way it's supposed to and I find myself slightly envious completely green-faced jealous of him. He plugs something in and he knows immediately if it works or not. If it does, great. If not, he does some testing and knows exactly what needs to be done to make it work.

As a writer, I don't have that kind of assurance. I try to craft a story that will work but the truth is I won't ever have a definitive test that tells me whether or not I've been successful and that? Just sucks! What I wouldn't give for a green light to flash and tell me "hey, this story arc? It's totally working" or a light that flashes to tell me I've got issues with character development, etc. Sigh.

In Like a Lamb...

Mood: Expectant (my sis is still in labor. Yes, still! But she is going to be "induced" at the beginning of this week..."induced" meaning that the docs will help move things along so that I can finally meet my new little neice or nephew).

What I'm Watching: Lock-up Raw (These are some seriously screwed up criminals they're talking to this time around...really....*shudder*)

It's March and Mother Nature is finally showing some signs of letting go of the stranglehold of winter. Today the temps topped 50°. 50°!!!! Cue the singing birds and the budding flowers. The hubs and I were drawn outside to soak up the promise of spring and, in the time honored tradition of people who live in snowy areas, we decided to take advantage of the first nice day to wash months of winter residue off of our car. For those of you who aren't familiar with the "winter residue" phenomenon, I present you with exhibit A:

             













This isn't my vehicle but this is pretty much what mine looked like so you can totally see why I wanted to make a trip to the local car wash, right?

So, the hubs and I headed out to the car wash but when we got there we found that the debit card taking machine (technical name) was out of order. This was a source of some frustration as the hubs and I rarely (never) carry cash. But, it was a beautiful day and we had nothing better to do so we schlepped over to the ATM at the local bank branch to get some cash to wash the car. Sitting in line at the drive up ATM, we had some discussion over just how much cash we should withdraw and we decided on $20.00 because this would pay for the car wash and give us a few dollars to grab a soda or something later in the day (blue raspberry icee's...score!)

This seemed like a very sensible idea...until we got back to the car wash and realized that the car wash doesn't take $20's...it only takes $5's or $1's. Le Sigh. There was a Dairy Queen across the road where we could probably get change but they don't just "make" change...we had to purchase something. Normally this would not be an issue but we'd just eaten a large breakfast and even I, the ice cream queen, could not even contemplate eating ice cream (this may very well be the first, last and only time I ever even think that sentence).

At that point the car wash was no longer just something we wanted to do...it was a quest of honor. Two rational, reasonably intelligent adults The hubs and I should be able to figure out a way to run a single car through an automatic car wash without involving cursing, head banging or calling out the national guard.

Fortunately, I had a flash of inspiration...why not run into the Dairy Queen and buy a gift card? Then, we can get change and we can have ice cream later. Win-win, right?!? That? Is why sometimes I'm just all kinds of rock star awesome!

So now my car is all sparkles and shine and I've got a DQ gift card tucked away so I'm going to call it a win.

Olympic Size Dreams

Mood: Tired (this week has lasted somewhere near a month now)

What I'm Watching: The Olympics baby! (The sport, the drama, Shaun White...what's not to love!)

I have a confession to make. I absolutely love the Olympics. Summer or winter doesn't matter, but every time the Olympic season rolls around my normally sport hating self suddenly becomes an avid watcher of all things Olympic. When I was younger I used to wish that I had the kind of talent that would take me to the Olympics (usually in some super artistic girlie type sport with super cute outfits like gymnastics or figure skating), but, alas, I'm not coordinated, dedicated, or athletic enough to even climb up the steps in the arenas to watch the sports, let alone participate in them.

Now that I'm older, I always think that the Olympics, with all their pagentry, grace and displays of athletic skill, are nothing more than a bittersweet moment in time. These althletes work their whole lives towards one goal...the Olympic gold. If they're lucky, they win. On that day, in that place, they are the best in the world. That's an absolutely amazing accomplishment but then what? Can anything in their lives top that moment? When your whole life has revolved around a goal and you attain that goal, how do you redefine your life?

Even worse are the many athletes who train just as long, work just as hard and want it just as bad...but who, on that day, in that place, are not among the best in the world. All of that time, effort and sacrifice culminates in the disappointing loss of their goal. If they're lucky, they may be able to continue training for the next Olympics but an athlete's career span is a short one. The human body simply cannot withstand the demands and pressures of an elite level athlete indefinitely. Then what? What happens when you've dedicated your entire life in the pursuit of a single goal and you fail to attain that goal? How do you redifine your life?

So, on reflection, I think it was probably best that I was not blessed with any sort of athletic talent. Instead, I was given a drive to write...to create worlds with my words. There's no shelf life on a writer's creativity, there's an unlimited opportunity to write, revise and write again, and  the opportunities to both succeed and fail are absolutely limitless. Now, if they could just come up with a super cute, sparkly writer outfit...

 

What's That Behind the Blog Tree...

Mood: Harried and hassled (back at work after a long Christmas weekend and have a LOT of stuff to do. It's lunch time so I'm blogging and eating...look at me all multitasking and stuff)

What I'm listening to: Life in a Northern Town by Dream Academy (Viva La 80's!)

Current Word Count: Uh...I've thought about writing, does that count?

We've just come through the Christmas season in my household and, depsite our general anti-social personalities, the hubs and I are actually with it enough to reailze that the season is more about giving than receiving. This awareness keeps us from being forced to sit through those uncomfortable visits from the ghosts of Christmas. Trust me, this is an experience you want to avoid. Christmas past is an absolute downer, Christmas present is okay but a bit unsettling and Christmas future? I don't want to see anything on his radar unless it involves me, a great big pile of money and a pair of size five jeans into which I can actually squeeze more than one of my calves.

Despite doing the whole giving/charity thing, I still can't help getting a thrill everytime someone gives me a gift. I love them...all sparkly, wrapped up and full of possibilities. Sure, it might be a pair of socks but it just might be a new i-pod...who knows?

When I logged into my blog earlier and saw that Laurel over at Laurel's Leaves (seriously, how cool is her name alone?) had left me a gift for my blog I was super excited. Laurel is a YA author and an amazing blogger who manages to seamlessly combine writing tips and tricks, editing issues, general life and her need for a Gilmore Girls book (she really had me at the Gilmore Girls) into one neat and tidy blog. If you haven't checked in at her blog yet you totally should. Really. I mean it.

So, here's my shiny, sparkly new blog bling!

It's the Picasso award and accepting this award requires me to send it along to seven other bloggers and share seven things about myself.

First, the bloggers:

1.) Carol at Carol's Prints (for her unwavering support, her innovative ideas and her amazing sense of humor!)
2.) Sara Fraser at Misadventures of a Modern Mommy (because she's not only surviving motherhood with grace and humor, she's doing it as a writer...also? Because I totally get her desire to punch someone in the supermarket produce section!)
3.) Harley over at her livejournal (for her ability to blog about sarcasm, tackling PTA uber moms, lessons learned at a U2 concert and beer soaked diapers...all on the same page!! The fact that she's a writer is a total bonus here!)
4.) Anne over at Anne Riley (she spells her name with an 'e' which totally appeals to the little girl in me who was, at one time, obsessed with Anne of Green Gables. She's also into giving really good book reviews, writing tips and she's developed a highly scientific means of selecting the winners of her giveaways!)
5.) Jamie over at Bookmom Musings (for her hilarious 'word of the week' entries...which are actual words but seem totally made up; for her random pictures and cartoons that always make me giggle and because she rocked nanowrimo this year!)
6.) Shannon at Ramblings of a Wannabe Scribe (Blog wars, triple dog dares and the weblog debut of "Earth Had a Snack"...what's not to love here. Seriously. You need to go check her out!)
7.) Courtney at Work in Progress (For her amazing writing tips...her spreadsheet alone makes my head spin and  her amazing dedication to joining a book club that led her to trying out four or five of them to find a good fit! Also? Her blog is just super cute!)


And now for the 7 random things about me:

1.) I used to be addicted to Days of our Lives. I blame my grandmother and my aunt, but still, the addiction was mine. I haven't watched it in over a decade but I can still tell you what was going on in Salem through most of the 80's and early 90's.

2.) I've never been in an airplane. The mere thought of flying is enough to send me into a panic attack. I blame the disaster made for tv airplane crash movies of the early 80's. Also? I remember watching the news when I was little and it seemed like there was always a plane being hijacked to Cuba or something...I'm sure that didn't help matters any.

3.) I don't like bacon. There, I said it. Most people I know love the stuff and I think it tastes metallic, like blood. Gross!

4.) I work as an administrative assistant in a church. Some people think this would be an easy, stress free job. Those people would be wrong.

5.) I can't stand being around people who make obnoxious noises when they eat. Slurping, smacking your lips, guzzling down a soda like you've been in the desert for the last 40 years? Just no. If the hubs ever turns up with a fork jabbed between his eyes, you'll know why.

6.) As easily irritated as I am, I have amazing patience with people who work retail, fast food and with the public in general. I also have very little patience for customers who are rude to those people. It takes 2 seconds to say "hello" and "thank you" and don't get me started on people in the drive-thru who say "give me..."! They're not your slaves, you can say something more polite like "May I have.." or "I'd like...".

7.) Instead of the 5:30 pm news, I watch TMZ. It's shameful I know but what can I say? I like to think I'm researching the lives of the rich and famous for possible future writing reference but let's face it...I just loves me some celebrity scandal!

It's the End of the World as We Know It...

Mood: Tired but Content (spent the day out w/ the hubs having dinner and a movie)

What I'm Watching: COPS (Love me some criminals getting tased!)

Current Word Count: 9,602 (I know, I know, still in a holding pattern...but pen and paper work continues so still counting this week as a writing win!)

Scott and I went to see the movie 2012 today. Honestly? It actually wasn't too bad. Lots of intense action and special effects. It also raised some interesting questions...like, if it really was the end of the world and we had the opportunity to save a select few to restart society, who would be worthy of being saved? Who would be the "best of the best" when it comes to science, art, research, etc. ?

Unfortunately, the list the hubs and I were able to come up with was pathetically small. So far, our "Ark" would contain:

• Stephen Hawking: Obviously...the guy has more intelligence in one brain cell than I have in my entire frontal lobe.

• Bill Gates: This one was cause for much debate but let's face it, the guy is a computer genius and I'd really rather not have to go without computers any longer than absolutely necessary.

• J.K. Rowling: This one was mine. Pure entertainment value. Also added Stephenie Meyer. Again, pure entertainment value. I must have a steady supply of interesting books.

• Stephen King: The hubs added him. Interesting choice since the hubs isn't much of a reader. Suspect it's the only author that readily came to mind. Still, I allowed it because, dude, it's Stephen King. Quite possibly the only person in the world who could come up with something more freaking scary than the end of the world thereby making reality seem tame and normal by comparison.

Uh, that was it. A 45 minute drive home and we came up with one brilliantly gifted but physically disabled scientist, one billionaire computer nerd and three writers. These are the people we've chosen to rebuild our world. We? Are so screwed. Just saying.

Vacation...All I Ever Wanted????

Mood: Sick (May not exactly be a mood but it's definitely what I feel right now.)

What I'm watching: Gladiator Days: Anatomy of a Prison Murder (Still endlessly fascinated w/ the criminal mind)

Current Word Count: 9,602 (Yes. Yes, it is in fact the same count as last time. Nearly a week ago. Yes, I'm aware I'm a complete slacker - loser type of writer right now. No excuses. To be a writer, I have to write, so let the floggings commence.)

For the first time in three years, I am officially on vacation! I should be excited and, in a way, I definitely am. No going in to the office, no dealing with ringing phones, ringing doorbells, endless rounds of "I need..." and "Can you...?", etc. I need this break. It's essential to my mental health and, quite honestly, the physical well being of the people around me.

However. This is also the first time that I've had meaningful vacation time without the hubs. Because of his layoff and his new job, he won't have vacation time until February. So, for the first time in a long time, I'm facing a long week of having to entertain myself. Yikes! Seriously, the last time this happened the results were not pretty for anyone involved. It's not that I don't like my own company...I do. It's that I get bored easily and, as much as I whine about being lazy, I don't do lazy all that well.

So, in general, my days would go something like this:

6:30 am: Get up w/ the hubs and see him off to work
7:00 am: Toy w/ the idea of going back to bed but decide against it.
7:01 am: Turn on tv.
7:02 am: Realize there's nothing good on tv during the day
7:03 am: Flip through all the channels again, just to confirm there's nothing on.
7:04 am: Check e-mail/facebook/twitter
7:15 am: Flip through channels again, just in case I missed something good. I didn't.
7:20 am: Check bookshelves for unread books. Realize I don't have any. Decide to go to library.
7:30 am: Realize library doesn't open until 9:00 am.
7:31 am: Drive back home to wait for library to open.
7:40 am - 9:00 am: Attempt to write with breaks for flipping channels, checking e-mails, twitter and facebook.
9:00 am: Yay. Finally head to library.
9:15 am: Remember why I never go to our local library...reference books from 1950 anyone?
9:30 am: Leave library, consider calling a friend
9:35 am: Realize all friends are at work.
9:45 am: Back home. Sit on couch and suddenly realize how small, cluttered, dusty and annoying our apartment really is.
10:00 am: Consider doing thourough cleaning, but remind self I'm home to rest...not mount a major cleaning expedition.
10:15 am - 5:30 pm: Alternate attempts at writing with breaks for staring hatefully at my cramped tiny apartment, channel flipping (still nothing good on), and e-mail, twitter and facebook checking.
5:31 pm: The hubs is home. Finally. And I am cranky, irritated and completely out of sorts with boredom and have absolutely nothing to show for the day.

Right. So, this week is going to be different. Partly because the week is not supposed to be a stressful exercise in irritation, but rather a break from the irritation of daily life. Also? The hubs doesn't want to come home to lunatic wife ranting about small spaces, cluttered closets and the Jerry Springer Show.

I'm definitely planning to get some significant writing done but I also need external stimulation or my brain goes numb, I get cranky and the writing? It doesn't work so well. So, I desperately need some ideas people...what would you do with a week to yourself during the day?

The Angst of Being a Writer

Mood: Inspired (Work in Progess is back in progress...YAY!)

What I'm Listening To: Don't Stop Believing (Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world...)

Current Word Count: 9,594 (Don't be too impressed, I just decided the the words that I cut a copule of weeks ago actually work much better than I thought they did so I put them back. Sigh. Have realized I'm the Brett Favre of the writing world.)

People always seem surprised when they find out I'm working on a book. Truthfully, the explanation for their surprise is fairly simple...I don't talk too much about my writing in my real , day to day life. Why? It's not like I've got a side job as a stripper or a drug mule or anything but when someone asks me about my writing I suddenly feel as though the Pastor has busted me coming out of the back room at the local video store.

Having given a lot of thought to my reaction, I've come to the following conclusions:

1.) Talking about my writing would mean that I'd actually have to, you know, write...something. Anything. And? Sometimes (most of the time) I'm a lazy, unmotivated writer.

2.) Like most artists, I secretly fear that I suck at what I do...and no one wants to admit that they've written or are in the process of writing a book which has the suckage factor of, say, "Eyes Wide Shut".

3.) To most people in my world (i.e: My family) saying "I'm writing a book" is on par with saying "I'm going to be a movie star" or "I'm going to be President of the United States". The supportive, follow your dreams crap? We're not so good with that.

However, I'm working on coming out of the writer's closet and declaring myself a sometimes lazy, sometimes unmotivated dreamer who spins sometimes silly stories and who dreams of someday having them completed and published.

And if that doesn't work out? The dream of being a Wal-Mart door greeter lives on!

Late Night Random Blogginess

Mood: Tired and Frustrated (This week at work has already lasted a year and there's no end in sight. Also? Having issues getting plugged in to my writing. The story is there but the energy to write? Not so much).

What I'm Watching: Oprah (I know, I know, I'm so NOT an Oprah person but it's the Mackenzie Phillips interview and I sense a train wreck coming up)

Current Word Count: 9, 497 (Better but not great. Need to get buckled down and start really working the novel or it'll never get done!)

Since it's late and way past my bedtime I'm just going to be hitting some mini-random blogginess.

1.) Aphids. I'd heard of them. Had some vague notion that they were probably some really nasty looking things that had a million legs and would eat me if given half a chance. In reality? Our town is currently overrun with the little buggers and they are tiny little bastards that swarm every freaking where. I can't even walk from my house to my car without being covered with them. According to the experts they're not dangerous to us but I have to say that I've inhaled enough of them that I'm sure it can't be healthy. I have visions of tiny little aphid colonies being formed in my lungs. *shudder*

2.) Camping. I love camping. My husband loves camping (the 'in the woods, in a tent, primitive type camping'). I even bought him a new tent for Christmas last year. So why is it that every weekend we've had free this summer it has either rained or been way too hot to go out camping. We were hoping to go this weekend but we've been hit with the double whammy of forecasted rain and those aforementioned aphids. Spending the weekend inhaling thick swarms of bugs isn't my idea of a good time. :(

3.) Slightly unnerved by the killing of an entire family in a nearby town. Crazy killer? Still on the loose.

4.) Your Kid Ate What? Really? This is a show now? Anyone who reads my blog on a regular basis knows that I'm partial to reality tv but isn't this really just scraping the bottom of the barrel? A show about the weird things that kids have eaten? Don't all kids eat weird things? Hell, I once swallowed a penny. My mother didn't call a television crew, she called the doctor who said "this too shall pass". It was cosmic payback for the time that she swallowed an old school camera flashbulb when she was a kid. Amazingly, my grandmother called the doctor, not a television crew.

And there you have it. All the random thoughts currently running through my tired, semi-empty brain. Off to double check the door locks, kill a few stray aphids that followed us into the house, check the weather forecast for the first weekend in October and call my sister to ensure that should one of my nephews eat something gross, dangerous or just plain interesting, she calls the television crew first and the doctor second.

Caution: Reading This Blog May Cause...

Mood: Content (Scott and I spent the day bumming around Harvest Days, had porkchops on the grill for dinner and am now enjoying a quiet evening at home)

What I'm Watching: The Girls Next Door (Don't ask...I really don't know why)

Current Word Count: 8,618 (I know, still pathetic but I had to unravel a few story threads and fix a few issues so while the word count hasn't jumped up much the story works much better).

As most people who regularly read my blog have no doubt surmised, I watch way too much tv. Way too much. I watch tv while I'm cleaning house, while I'm working on my writing, while I'm surfing the net, while I'm eating dinner and while I'm reading a book. Basically, if we're home, the tv is on.

Because Scott and I are still living in the dark ages (meaning we don't have Tivo), we are not only watching tv shows, we're also watching endless hours of advertisements per day. Over the last few years I've noticed an exponential increase in the amount of commercials for medications. How many of us grew up happily never hearing of PMDD, RLS or DVT? Now, not only do we know that they exist, after watching a few hours of tv you'll be half convinced you suffer from at least one of them. Really, it doesn't matter what's wrong with you, there's an advertisement out there that will tell you what the problem is and what you need to take to resolve the problem.

However, at the end of every single one of those advertisements is a roll call of all the potential problems that could occur if you choose to take the medication in question. "Have the sniffles? Take sniffle-ease. It will get rid of all your nasal issues....may cause drowsiness (okay, that's not that bad), diziness (eh, but if it helps my stuffy-sniffley nose it might be worth it), insomnia (thought it was going to make me sleepy?), seizures (what the hell?), and in some cases certain cancers like leukemia ($#%*&@?+?!!!!!!). Right. So, what's so bad about a stuffy nose anyway?

So, in the interest of maintaining truth in advertising, reading this blog may cause:

Boredom (really, my life isn't that exciting), confusion (I tend to ramble about nothing in particular), laughter (occasionally I think I'm mildly funny), irritation (I'm also occasionally annoying), and in some rare cases, a need to come back and check to see just what personal jackassery I've been up to lately (because, really, who could avoid the excitement that is my life?).

Should you experience any of these issues, don't panic. An attorney with a pending class action lawsuit will be along with an advertisement at any moment.

Crazy, Unique or Uniquely Crazy?

Mood: Pleasantly Sleepy (once again, it's way past my bedtime)

What I'm Watching: A Haunting (Interesting story but I could do without the cheesy special effects. Also? Seriously doubting the sanity of anyone who would remain in a place where he was being terrorized by unseen demonic forces.)

Current Word Count: 8,173 (Pathetic, I know, but it's still a higher number than it was yesterday).

I know that every family has one or two "special" people. You know, Great Aunt Minnie who gets drunk and has tea with President Lincoln every Saturday afternoon or Grandpa George who needs his meds or he'll be thinking that he's still fighting in WWII?

When I was a kid, these were the people we lovingly tolerated at family gatherings. We tried to help them as best we could and adults would talk about them in hushed tones, telling us kids that we weren't to laugh at them...that they had "problems". Of course, now I know "problems" was code for "completely and totally insane".

Luckily, we've come a long way since those days. Now it's far more socially acceptable to be medicated for everything from depression to anxiety to OCD. I actually know very few people who aren't popping a little white pill or two to make the world a friendlier place. No longer do we talk about these people in hushed tones, instead we compare notes, swap medication recommendations and provide support for one another. I think it's great.

However. There's a limit. And I think the Japanese may just have driven past that limit at 100 mph. Seems the wife of their newly elected prime minister has written a book in which she claims to have flown in a UFO to the planet Venus where she made immediate friends with the native peoples on that planet. She also asserts that she knew Tom Cruise in a previous life when he was Japanese.

In most civilized countries this poor woman would be at least looked at as completely off her nut and in need of some serious psychiatric intervention. In Japan? She's the new prime minister's wife and it seems the Japanese people are not a bit bothered by her claims. Apparently the people embrace her as "unique".

Hmmm...I'm thinking this is the kind of unique that doesn't get to use sharp scissors.

I Remember When...

Mood: Tired (it's a bit past my old lady bedtime)

What I'm Watching: Iron Chef America (...and the secret ingredient is....ALASKAN.KING.CRAB!)

Current Word Count: 7,833 (this is something new I'm trying...including my current "work in progress" word count as a way of reminding myself what I've accomplished and to motivate me to keep working...we'll see how it works for me.)

My husband and I were talking recently about how much life and the world in general has changed just since we were children. Thinking about it, I realized just how little you notice those changes until they're pointed out to you, so I thought I would make my own little "Remember When" list.

I was born in 1973 (do NOT do the math...I feel 23 so I'm 23!), and my husband was born in 1970 (go ahead and do the math on him...he's older than I am!).

And, we remember when...

• Children played outside all day, nearly every day...you just had to be home and on the porch when the street lights turned on at night.


• Using old cigar boxes as pencil boxes was not only acceptable but an actual part of the mandatory school supply list


• Kids had "school" clothes, "play" clothes and "dress" clothes. The minute you got home you had to change into your play clothes (which were last year's school clothes) and Lord help you if you played in your school clothes and got them dirty.


• Saturday morning cartoons were really cartoons and not digital animation. Also? The cartoons were good and lasted all morning long.


• There were only 13 channels on cable television and we thought that was a lot.


• Our televisions didn't have remotes so our parents would make us get up and change the channel. Again, and again, and again...


• Pong was cool and Atari blew our minds with its state of the art gaming abilities.


• Taking a road trip with the family involved things like license plate bingo instead of handheld video games and portable DVD players. Also? We stopped and had picnics at rest stops or on the side of the road because there wasn't a fast food place every 5 miles on the highway.


• A good mini-series (like Roots) could bring the entire family together around the television every night for a week.


• tv dinners came in a tin foil tray (that gave the food that nice, tinny flavor, that you just don't get with the plastic ones).


• Phones had rotary dials and long distance calls were a cause for excitement.


• Computers were for multi-million dollar companies, took up entire rooms and ran on a series of punch type cards.

So there you have it, my little meandering walk down memory lane. Of course there are millions of things I've left out...so feel free to comment and add your own memories. What do you remember?

Random Blogginess

Mood: Slightly out of sorts (Not quite sure what's going on...vaguely frustrated with life right now)

What I'm Watching: More To Love (Yep. More silly reality tv...I've embraced my inner reality tv junkie!)

Just some random mini-blogness tonight:

• Have noticed fighting neighbors across the hall have not picked up their papers for the last couple of nights. Hoping they're just away for a while but keeping nose out for any funny smells coming from their apartment.

• The local Cable Company? Officially on my list! I pay an obscene amount of money for cable service and really? watching my channels randomly flip from one to the other every 2 seconds for nearly 15 minutes just because their emergency alert system had gone haywire is the last in a long line of reasons why I'd like to tell them to take their cable service and...well...fill in the rest with your favorite analogy here. However, due to my recently admitted shameful addiction to reality tv and our inability to have a satellite system installed (thank you stupid landlord), I'm forced to keep the cable service...for now.

• Mother nature seems to be confused as the weather is currently more in keeping with early to mid October than the first of September. I love fall weather but I'm hoping that this doesn't mean that we'll be having an early and hard winter....hope it just means a longer autumn, which would be lovely.

• Finally put in for some vacay time at work! YAY!!! The first week in November is all MINE! Can't go anywhere because Scott still doesn't have vacation time but after 3 years with no time off, it's time to just take a break from the office...even if it's just staring at the walls and watching stupid daytime tv!

Wal-Mart? You're Now On My List!

Mood: Stressed, frustrated, out of sorts (I'm feeling all PMS-y right now)

What I'm watching: Make It or Break It (my very favorite new show...should be cheering me up but, honestly? Not so much.)

I'd like to know just when it was that stores decided it was okay to stop their shoppers at the door and demand to see the receipt for what they've just purchased as though they are common criminals? Honestly? I find the practice demeaning, degrading and dowright annoying.

It happened to me just this morning at Wal-Mart. Already in a crappy mood, I had to stop at Wal-Mart and buy a new printer and some ink for my boss. I had just made my purchases and was on my way out the door when the intrepid Wal-Mart door greeter chases me out the door and demands that I stop and show her my receipt.

Now, I didn't set off the alarm, all of my purchases were neatly bagged in the requisite plastic Wal-Mart shopping bags, and I was dressed in my "I'm a church secretary" finest so I'm not sure what it was that made this teenage moron think that I was a shoplifter but I stopped, dug through my purse and found the receipt that I had neatly tucked away in the pocket of my checkbook wallet. I stood there while she checked and double checked the receipt against the items in my cart before she finally decided that I wasn't an immediate threat to Wal-Mart's bottom line and allowed me to go on my not so merry little way.

Honestly? Do they really think that I would not only be able to shoplift all that stuff but also be able to steal Wal-Mart bags from right underneath the cashier's nose, bag everything up and head out the door without anyone noticing? If so, they are either severly overestimating my criminal skills or they are seriously lacking in the security department.

Really retailers? In this economic recession is it really a good idea to alienate those of us who are actually able and willing to spend our hard earned dollars in your establishment? One of these days someone is going to go completely ape shit on your asses and I'm just going to bet it's going to be me.

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

Mood: Stuffed (really, we just ate dinner and it's the only thing I can think right now...I ate way too much!)

What I'm watching: The Simpsons (Was never allowed to watch this as a child...mom thought that Bart was a bad influence...I consider this delayed rebellion but I totally heart the Simpsons!)

Dear Hollywood:

Are you completely out of original ideas? The occasional remake, I can forgive. Once in a while bringing a television show to the big screen...most of the time this is a grievous error but somewhat understandable, after all, sometimes we all get a little lazy and phone it in. But really? Remaking Footloose, The Karate Kid, The Birds, Fame, AND Friday the 13th (honestly? After 5 million sequels haven't we all had enough of Jason Voorheis?)? Isn't that just shameful, unmitigated laziness?

Sincerely,

A disgruntled movie goer.

Also? This could be cc'd to the fashion industry, only, of course, substituting the reintroduction of leggings under tulle crinoline skirts, leg warmers, jelly shoes, crimped hair, neon splashed clothing, airbrushed t-shirts, plaid pleated skirts and the side ponytail for the litany of movie re-makes. Honestly? I'm one mall bang and slouch sock sighting away from thinking I've fallen into a time warp back to 1985!

And what's really sad about the whole situation is that I'm old enough to sigh and shake my head at an entire generation of kids young enough to think that the movies are new and the fashions are trendy.