Requiem for a Laptop...

Mood: Tired (it was a long week but it's finally FRIDAY!!!)

On TV: Judge Joe Brown (I love that people are willing to put theirstupidselves out on tv like this for my entertainment)

Dear bloggie friends, it is with great sadness that I announce that I have come to the end of an era. *sniff* For the last three years, my laptop has been my constant companion. She has allowed me to keep up (or not) with my blogging and my writing. She allowed me a gateway to the idea of Twitter and Facebook. She bears scars from my watch hitting her below the keyboard, spots on her keys from the occasional soda spray and is fully accessorized with a matching purple pendrive and carrying case.

However, recently she had some issues with overheating. The hubs worked on her, he added new heat grease to her processor and I restored her operating system. We thought we'd saved her and, in a way, we did - but - she's not quite her old self anymore. She's kind of like someone's beloved old auntie who isn't always quite as sharp or fast as she used to be. She randomly shuts down programs as I'm using them and reboots herself quite often when she should be just putting herself into sleep or hibernate mode. No amount of setting changes seem to rectify the situation.

Finally the hubs decided that, since we were getting a new desktop for him (lightning strike) that we would get a new laptop for me. I should be happy (the cost aside) but I'm not. I'm in mourning for my current laptop. She was a gift from the hubs - his way of saying "I have faith in your ability to write and I'm willing to provide you with the proper tools to do it". She's pretty and purple with flowers and I super sparkly heart her...even if she doesn't work as quickly or reliably as she used to.

However, hubs is right. I can't depend on her not to crash in the middle of a blog post or a marathon writing session so she needs to be retired to "light duty". We will use her as a back up/ travel laptop. She will get to enjoy her retirement by accompanying us on trips, seeing different places and enjoying making connections with different networks where ever we go.

She will always be my first laptop love. Maybe I'm weird for having such an attachment to my laptop or maybe it's a writer thing but I'm having issues letting her go. Even now, with my new laptop is sitting on the table, still in the box, I chose to post this one last blog post from my old friend.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

P.S. My trusty old laptop has crashed this blog post at least 3 times already. I think she's trying to make the transition a bit easier for me.

Finding Your Fun and Embracing Your Awesome!

Mood: Meh (It's been a long week...a very long week, but this weekend is a three day holiday weekend so things are looking up.)

What I'm Watchin?g: It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown (Seriously, what a classic and Woodstock? Totally has a happening pad!)

When I was a little kid with lopsided  ponytails and really bad 70's polyester clothing I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be the gas station attendant who checked the oil, pumped the gas and, best of all, washed the windows with the super cool squeegee. Why? Because it just looked like fun. The guy was always smiling, always whistling and, besides, hello? The squeegee!

I never considered whether I would make enough money to support myself, whether people would look down on me for working at a gas station, whether I'd look good in that blue and white striped shirt with my name embroidered on it or whether it was a job that I would be good at...I wanted to do it because it looked like it would be fun. 

Writing started out in much the same way. It was a fun and creative way to entertain myself. I wrote fantastically horrible stories that I was just sure were pure literary genius and I was happy. At some point, though, I allowed some of the fun to be sucked out of the writing experience.  I allowed people to tell me that I shouldn't or couldn't write - that it was silly and a waste of time. I allowed myself to internalize those messages and began to doubt everything about my writing. Eventually I decided it would be easier if I just kept my writing to myself.

I was so scared someone would find out about my shameful secret that I even hid it from the hubs. When he moved in with me I actually threw out several notebooks filled with years worth of notes, story starters, ideas, etc. because I was so afraid that he'd find it and think that I was stupid or silly or whatever other horrible thing that I was afraid of. Yes, I realize now just how stupid that was (stupid, stupid, stupid)* because, the hubs is incredibly supportive and he nearly cried when I confessed that I'd tossed out so much of my work because I didn't want him to think I was stupid for wanting to write.

Now, I'm working on rediscovering the 'fun' in my writing and trying to learn to embrace my inner awesome. After all, writers are completely awesome people - we get to create and manipulate worlds using nothing more than our imaginations and simple words - what could be cooler than that? Want to learn more about your inner awesome? Check out Tawna Fenske's blog post about it. Really. Do it. Now!

So while I may not have a squeegee or a shirt with my name on it, I've got a totally cool laptop and my livescribe pen? Is just made of awesome!

What about you? Have you found your fun and embraced your inner awesome?

*slapping self on forehead kind of stupid

In Like a Lamb...

Mood: Expectant (my sis is still in labor. Yes, still! But she is going to be "induced" at the beginning of this week..."induced" meaning that the docs will help move things along so that I can finally meet my new little neice or nephew).

What I'm Watching: Lock-up Raw (These are some seriously screwed up criminals they're talking to this time around...really....*shudder*)

It's March and Mother Nature is finally showing some signs of letting go of the stranglehold of winter. Today the temps topped 50°. 50°!!!! Cue the singing birds and the budding flowers. The hubs and I were drawn outside to soak up the promise of spring and, in the time honored tradition of people who live in snowy areas, we decided to take advantage of the first nice day to wash months of winter residue off of our car. For those of you who aren't familiar with the "winter residue" phenomenon, I present you with exhibit A:

             













This isn't my vehicle but this is pretty much what mine looked like so you can totally see why I wanted to make a trip to the local car wash, right?

So, the hubs and I headed out to the car wash but when we got there we found that the debit card taking machine (technical name) was out of order. This was a source of some frustration as the hubs and I rarely (never) carry cash. But, it was a beautiful day and we had nothing better to do so we schlepped over to the ATM at the local bank branch to get some cash to wash the car. Sitting in line at the drive up ATM, we had some discussion over just how much cash we should withdraw and we decided on $20.00 because this would pay for the car wash and give us a few dollars to grab a soda or something later in the day (blue raspberry icee's...score!)

This seemed like a very sensible idea...until we got back to the car wash and realized that the car wash doesn't take $20's...it only takes $5's or $1's. Le Sigh. There was a Dairy Queen across the road where we could probably get change but they don't just "make" change...we had to purchase something. Normally this would not be an issue but we'd just eaten a large breakfast and even I, the ice cream queen, could not even contemplate eating ice cream (this may very well be the first, last and only time I ever even think that sentence).

At that point the car wash was no longer just something we wanted to do...it was a quest of honor. Two rational, reasonably intelligent adults The hubs and I should be able to figure out a way to run a single car through an automatic car wash without involving cursing, head banging or calling out the national guard.

Fortunately, I had a flash of inspiration...why not run into the Dairy Queen and buy a gift card? Then, we can get change and we can have ice cream later. Win-win, right?!? That? Is why sometimes I'm just all kinds of rock star awesome!

So now my car is all sparkles and shine and I've got a DQ gift card tucked away so I'm going to call it a win.

Happy Single Persons Appreciation Day!

Mood: Happy (Have had a decent weekend w/ the hubs. Still waiting for the appearance of my new neice/nephew...baby is being stubborn and my sister is being a trooper. No one should have to be in labor for over a week!)

What I'm Watching: Cheaters (I would be watching  the Olympics but stupid NBC is taking a break in coverage to bring me an absolutely useless infomercial)

It's Valentine's Day. That oh so special day that requires people in love to find one perfect gift or gesture that somehow conveys the sum total of affection they feel the other 364 days of the year. Unrealistic much? The truth is that if your partner doesn't appreciate you or show you love through the rest of the year a dozen roses on Valentine's Day probably doesn't mean anything more than the fact that he/she is stupid enough to A. pay way over-inflated floral prices and B. think that a dozen roses is going to "fix" a year's worth of jackassery.

It's not that I have anything against Valentine's Day, I really don't. A day dedicated to being grateful and showing appreciation for the ones we love is actually a great idea. Except for when you're alone. Now, I know that I'm lucky enough to be married to a great guy who has been very nice to me this Valentine's Day (hello? A trip to both B&N and Borders to shop for books? Total V-day win!) but I remember all too well the many Valentine's Days I spent alone being reminded by everyone and everything that I was alone.

Truthfully, I used to loathe Valentine's Day when I was single but if I'd known then what I know now I would have embraced the day as Single Persons Appreciation Day!

I would have:

1.) Accepted that the reason I was alone was not because I would never find anyone to love me but because I refused to settle for someone who was less than the person I deserved.

2.) Not wasted so much time being jealous of those who had a significant other on V-Day. I know now that being married/dating doesn't necessarily = happiness and that no amount of flowers on Feb. 14th can fix a broken and unhappy relationship.

3.) Pampered myself because I deserved it and because no one knows me and what I want/need better than me!

So, if you find yourself  unattached this Valentine's Day, embrace it. Declare it Single Persons Appreciation day and appreciate yourself!!! Enjoy having complete control over the television remote, being able to purchase a Valentine's gift for yourself that is exactly what you want, and what the heck, buy yourself some of your favorite flowers. You deserve them!

The Angst of Being a Writer

Mood: Inspired (Work in Progess is back in progress...YAY!)

What I'm Listening To: Don't Stop Believing (Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world...)

Current Word Count: 9,594 (Don't be too impressed, I just decided the the words that I cut a copule of weeks ago actually work much better than I thought they did so I put them back. Sigh. Have realized I'm the Brett Favre of the writing world.)

People always seem surprised when they find out I'm working on a book. Truthfully, the explanation for their surprise is fairly simple...I don't talk too much about my writing in my real , day to day life. Why? It's not like I've got a side job as a stripper or a drug mule or anything but when someone asks me about my writing I suddenly feel as though the Pastor has busted me coming out of the back room at the local video store.

Having given a lot of thought to my reaction, I've come to the following conclusions:

1.) Talking about my writing would mean that I'd actually have to, you know, write...something. Anything. And? Sometimes (most of the time) I'm a lazy, unmotivated writer.

2.) Like most artists, I secretly fear that I suck at what I do...and no one wants to admit that they've written or are in the process of writing a book which has the suckage factor of, say, "Eyes Wide Shut".

3.) To most people in my world (i.e: My family) saying "I'm writing a book" is on par with saying "I'm going to be a movie star" or "I'm going to be President of the United States". The supportive, follow your dreams crap? We're not so good with that.

However, I'm working on coming out of the writer's closet and declaring myself a sometimes lazy, sometimes unmotivated dreamer who spins sometimes silly stories and who dreams of someday having them completed and published.

And if that doesn't work out? The dream of being a Wal-Mart door greeter lives on!