It's Because I'm Crazy Isn't it?

Mood: Overwhelmed (Crazy busy week at work. There's just not enough hours in the day!)

What I'm Watching: American Idol (I'm so not into American Idol but there's something about the auditions that is too fun not to watch!)

A few days ago I read a post by Jamie over at Bookmom Musings reflecting on the "why" of her writing. Why do we write? Why do we put ourselves through the torture the effort required to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and spin a tale?

Her post prompted me to reflect on my own writing journey. Currently I've hit a very rough patch in my current work in progress and when I consider the "why" of my journey as a writer, I feel like this:




The why for me is not always clear. I have stories to tell but sometimes the effort of getting them out and onto paper is so difficult that it seems almost impossible. So what makes me sit down at the computer and keep trying when it seems that I'll never be able to get the words right?



Maybe it's the hope that someday I'll be able to find the right words, or maybe just the words that work in the moment. Maybe it's because my characters are so real I need to breathe life into them and allow them to exist independent of my own imagination. Mostly, though, I think my "why" lies in the fact that I'm driven to write and have been most of my life. I need to write the way I need to breathe or eat or sleep.

Or, there is the distinct possibility that I'm absolutely out of my mind crazy. I mean, you have to be...at least a little...to put yourself through this process on a daily basis, right?

The Good, The Bad, and The Super Cute!

Mood: Sleepy but accomplished (Way past my bedtime but managed to balance the checkbook and pay the bills, so I'm calling it a win!)

What I'm Watching: College Cheerleading Championships (Guess I'm a glutton for punishment because I can't think of a better way to completely destroy my self esteem than by watching a bunch of perfectly toned, tanned, tiny, athletic women half my age flying through the air in perfect synchronization).

Because it's so super late this is just going to be a mini-blog.

First, the good.

My latest obsessions?
1. Make it or Break it. I LOVE this new show on ABC Family. Gymnastics, drama, what's not to love?
2. McDonald's sweet tea. Yummy.
3. Watermelon. It's finally in season and affordable...YUMMY!!!

Now, the bad.

My latest annoyances?
1. Stupid people (okay, this is both ongoing and a given but it still makes the top of the list)
2. People who "borrow" (read: steal) the office supplies off of my desk. People? I NEED those supplies to effectively do my job, that's why they're on/in my desk. If you need a tape dispenser, a stapler, highlighter, etc. Go.Get.Your.Own. Or, at least have the decency to return mine when you're finished. (Also? the person who took my 'to do' list a few months ago? You're still on my list!).
3. Running to answer the phone at work only to hear a "click" and dial tone on the other end.
4. People who take their personal angst out on me. I don't care if you have PMS, got up on the wrong side of the bed or are just in a pissy mood. It's not my fault nor is it my problem so don't take your issues out on me!
5. Blogger...I've tried to post this blog entry for the last half hour. It has frozen up, refused to upload pictures without the use of some four letter words on my part and then will not allow me to use my new, super cool signature. Blogger...you are officially ON.MY.LIST!

Finally, the super cute. My little niece. I can neither confirm nor deny that Auntie Rhonda was an instigator in the completely inappropriate sticking out of the tongue captured in this photograph!




If that little face doesn't make you smile, there's no hope for you at all.

Love and Marriage...and Other Scary Stuff.

Mood: Cranky (It's been a LONG rough day)

What I'm Watching: Make It or Break It (Weeee...a show about gymnastics, teens and drama!)

My husband? Works in a town 35 miles away. His wallet? At home. His gas tank? On empty. Me? driving an hour roundtrip to take him his wallet. Also? In an almost herculean effort, I managed not to hurt him...not even a tiny bop upside the head.

Truthfully, this is one of the little wonders of married life that they don't tell you about. When you think about being married, it's all flowers and hearts and stars. It's romance and wistful sighs as you think about spending forever together.

Then reality sets in. No one ever mentions the "other" side of marriage. The morning breath, toenail clipping, back zit popping, "can you look at this weird patch of skin on my butt" side of married life. There's something to be said for that type of closeness but really? Sometimes it's a bit much.

So, in the interest of keeping a peaceful and loving home, I'd like to present the following household husband rules:

1.) The garbage can is a container. As we use it everyday, it will eventually become full. When it gets full, it does not suddenly undergo a metamorphasis and become a garbage shelf on which you are meant to stack all the garbage you can, in the style of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

2.) Everyone has bodily functions and no one is particularly interested in or amused by yours. You are not unique nor is your ability to express yourself through your various bodily emissions some sort of talent that will eventually land you a million dollar endorsement deal so please, keep them to yourself.

3.) Likewise, no one is particularly interested in how bad the odor is in the bathroom after you've used it. If you've been in there for a half hour, I can figure it out for myself...announcements are unecessary.

4.) If I've asked you to clear your computer desk for three weeks and you've failed to do so, don't be surprised when I do it myself. Just remember that the priceless information that you have encoded in illegible chicken scratches on random sheets of paper really looks like completely useless rubbish to me and will most likely find it's way into the garbage bin.

5.) Do not slurp...anything. This includes, but is not limited to: soda, milk, soup, ice-cream, and cereal.

6.) Items in our home do not generally float around in midair at eye level. Therefore, if you are looking for something, you will have to move things, open doors and drawers before locating the item. Please make sure that you follow the above instructions before coming to your wife and whining "I can't find (fill in the random lost item)".

7.)Cleaning the kitchen means doing more than just the dishes. The stove is not white with brown speckles, it's white, clean the speckles off of the stove. The table and counters need to be cleared, and by cleared I do not mean putting the stuff into the junk relocation program. Just moving it from the kitchen table to the coffee table in the livingroom is not technically cleaning. The stuff has a home, find it and put it there...our junk is happier when it's in it's home.

8.) If you are sick, take some medicine. If you refuse to take any medication, then I will assume that you enjoy being sick and will provide no sympathy or pampering...so stop whining!

Following these simple rules will ensure that you do not end up getting bopped upside the head...even when you have to call your wife and have her drive an hour round trip to drop off your wallet.

The Short List is Getting Longer Everyday!

Mood: Worn Out (this week has already lasted a year and it's only Thursday morning)

What I'm listening to: "Our Song" by Taylor Swift (What can I say, I still have a tiny bit of country running through my veins).

I have a new addiction: McDonald's Sweet Tea. YUMMMM!!! So, this morning (having scrounged the necessary $1.06 out of my change tray), I was in line at the drive thru looking for my morning fix. I placed my order, handed over my money and was waiting patiently when the person in the large, obnoxious, diesel guzzling pick up behind me decides that it's taking too long and starts honking his horn. Uh, moron? Honking your horn at me is not going to make the process go any faster because, you know, I'm not the one actually making the food/drinks here. Honestly, what did this genius expect me to do? Crawl through the window and make my own tea?

He's definitely on my list today.

Also on my short list recently?

Cigna insurance: Sending me a request for additional information on a possible pre-existing condition? No problem. Refusing to tell me what that pre-existing condition is? Completely moronic. How am I supposed to answer all your stupid questions if I don't even know what the hell you're talking about???

My step-daughter's summer camp: Cancelling camp due to the swine flu was probably a very good idea. Cancelling it at the last minute, annoying. Deciding to go ahead and get all the campers together for a single day anyway...well, doesn't that defeat the idea of NOT having all them gathered in the same place so as to minimize the chance of spreading infection?!?

The Radiologist: He sent me a bill for $1.00. A lousy dollar. Now, it's not that I mind paying the dollar. It's a dollar. But really? By the time he pays to print the bill, have someone fold and stuff it, then pays the postage on that bill...well, it's going to end up costing him at least 20¢ to collect my dollar. Is it bad that I briefly considered making two payments of 50¢ each?

North Korea: Seriously? Get over yourself.

Giordano's Pizza on Rush Street, Chicago: Obviously they watched the 'Soup Nazi' episode of Seinfeld one too many times. 3 hours of waiting outside on a hot, muggy day in the city only to be seated 2 feet from the guy screaming names into the loudspeaker? NOT an ideal dining experience. FYI? The PA system is meant to prevent the need to scream! Scott says this was all worth it because Giordano's has the.best.pizza.ever (mind you, this is the same man who once refused to wait 30 minutes to eat at a place I really like). I say Scott needs his head examined because, by the time we got served, I was so: tired, cranky, hot, annoyed and headachy I just wanted to hurt someone. badly. No pizza is worth that mess.

Adults who insist on acting like spoiled children: GROW UP! I'm not your mother, your father or your nanny. I'm not responsible for you in any way. If you don't get something done, that's not my problem. If you get your feelings hurt, learn to deal with it. If you look for reasons to be offended, expect to be offended and I will assume that you enjoy being offended. If you don't like the way something is going, figure out a way to change it. Acting like a spoiled brat and throwing a fit because things aren't going your way? NOT ACCEPTABLE. Also? If you are going to insist on acting like a three year old, pouting and having a fit? Don't be surprised if you find yourself sitting in the time out corner until you can behave appropriately!

Seriously? Some days I wonder why I don't end up under my desk, curled in a small ball, eating my own hair.

Mi Vida Loca

Mood: Funky (It's been a very funky couple of days around here).

What I'm Watching: Sex and the City (I'm totally into channelling my inner Carrie).

It's been a few days since I've blogged. I'd like to say that I've been too busy but the truth is that I've discovered a new, totally addictive, game and I've been spending all my time trying to build communities and make millions of (obviously fake) dollars in the process.

Anyway...here's the week in review:

Adventures in Travel

Most of you who know Sparky and I know that we are the official poster children for traveler's annonymous. Our honeymoon cruise? Re-routed around two hurricanes (no wonder we got such a good deal...who knew September was right in the middle of hurricane season?). Our trip to Mackinaw City, MI? Who knew that we would end up travelling until 3:00 am because there were absolutely NO hotels with vacancies for literally hundreds of miles as we drove (and we won't even talk about the hotel room we finally ended up with at 3:30 am...suffice it to say that I felt squeamy about it for days afterward). Our trip to Gettysburg? Didn't even happen. Twice. First, Sparky's dad died. Then, Sparky was laid off.

You'd think that we would just avoid tempting fate and stay home where we're safe and cozy. The problem is that, despite our travel issues, we both LOVE to travel. So, when Sparky suggested that we have a weekend getaway last weekend, I was all about going to a place where people will clean and cook for me while I soak in a whirlpool tub while watching tv!

The fact that I had to send my dinner back several times? No big deal. I'm used to it. The fact that it took the cashier at Wal-Mart nearly 45 minutes to ring up a simple sale? We were simply amused and accepted it as par for the course in our travel. However, when the toilet in our hotel room stopped working at 2:30 am? NOT so funny. Especially since I usually need to make a couple of trips to the bathroom in the night.

Sparky (a plumbing pro from having to wrestle with the craptastic plumbing at our apartment) decided that he would go ask for a plunger at the front desk. After 40 minutes he returned without one (the hotel clerk couldn't find one), but with a key to the room across the hall. Now we weren't supposed to change rooms (since ours was a whirlpool room and the one across the hall was not) but we were meant to go across the hall to use the bathroom. That's right. Everytime we needed to use the bathroom during the night, we had to get dressed, grab the keys and head across the hall. I can't tell you how much fun that was.

Thankfully the next day they were able to move us to another room. Yay! The fact that it was on the second floor where there were no vending or ice machines was a minor inconvenience compared to having a toilet that actually functioned. No more going to the outhouse for us!!! Let the relaxation begin! Okay, so the in-room whirlpool tub didn't have the best drain seal and, as a result, would be constantly draining so I had to keep refilling it. Luckily that wasn't as big an issue as one would have supposed because as Sparky walked across the floor to get something, I could actually feel the bottom of the tub shaking. Deciding that I would be extremely pissed off if I ended up falling through the floor, naked sitting in the whirlpool, I didn't soak very long anyway.

Finally we just decided to call it a night and turn in. I was looking forward to sleeping in the next morning since check out time wasn't until noon...unfortunately we were awakened at 7:00 am by the incessent ringing of the hotel fire alarm. Luckily it seemed to be a false alarm but once this was actually confirmed Sparky and I were wide awake and decided that it would be the better part of valor to admit defeat, pack up our things and effect a full scale retreat before the vacation fates had the chance to regroup their offensive forces.

Is it a real Heart Attack or is it Memorex??

In honor of my boss's birthday and administrative assistant's week (since I'm officially an admin. asst. now), a friend decided to take both of us out to lunch today. It was a nice meal with friends, fun, good conversation and laughter. Until I started having chest pains. Crushing, squeezing chest pains. As someone who suffers from panic attacks and anxiety, I first tried to ignore them thinking they were just anxiety symptoms but they didn't go away and eventually I started to start sweating and feeling nauseous. NOT GOOD. Yikes!!

It was finally decided that I needed to go visit the ER and be checked out. Luckily the friend (shout out to Harlin), was willing to drive me out there and wait with me while the medical professionals poked, prodded, tested and x-rayed me within an inch of my life. Luckily all my tests were fine. No heart attack. No stroke. No blood clots. Nothing at all. The best the doctor can say is "who knows". Could have been a spasm, could have been heartburn, could have been anxiety, could have been anything really. The nurse said it could have been a reaction to the Chinese food I'd been eating. He said that some people are sensitive to MSG (I always wondered why there was such hype about MSG) and that the effects of that sensitivity exactly mimic cardiac arrest. Hmmm...No more chinese food for me for a very, very long time.