Silencing Speak?

Mood: Irritated (banned and challenged books do that to me)

On Tv: COPS (hoping to see someone tazed - sweet, I swear, someone totally just got tazed!)

I have never read this book:


Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson is a book for young adults that deals with very real but very difficult and uncomfortable young adult topics. Like drinking. Like parties. Like Rape. Like a young woman who feels she has to remain silent about what has happened to her. In other words, it contains uncomfortable and difficult young adult topics faced by nearly every teenager at every high school in America today. 

Unfortunately, this has prompted some dissent from people  like Wesley Scroggins. Who has decided to protest its inclusion in school curriculum (certainly his right) but he protests its inclusion by calling it "filthy" and "soft core porn" and then calling into question the Christian morality of the school board, teachers and parents that allow such immoral reading material to be put into the hands of our nation's teenagers. 

Really? Really Mr. Scroggins? First, rape is not porn. It's a horrible act of violence. And it happens whether someone is moral or not. Whether they're Christian or not. And when it happens it leaves the victim feeling alone, broken, traumatized and terrified. Just like the character in the book. And just like the character in the book so many of those who are victimized will be afraid and embarrassed and, because of that, they will choose to live with their shame instead of allowing the shame to rest where it should - with the perpetrator of the crime. 

Uncomfortable or not, these are issues we need to discuss with our young people and, whether you use it as a talking point with your teen or if they see themselves in the book and feel empowered enough by it to come to you, books like Speak can be an incredibly effective way to open that oftentimes difficult path of parent - teen communication. 

While I strongly acknowledge a parent's right and responsibility to monitor their children's reading material for content and age appropriateness, no one has the right to decide what I will and will not allow my children to read nor what I will read myself.  

So, I said at the beginning of this post that I have never read Speak. However, I will. And if I don't like it? I will opt not to read it again. If I don't think it's appropriate for teens? I won't allow teens in my care to read it. But if you want your teen to read it because you think it will be a powerful teaching tool? I will give you my copy! 

Incompetence is NOT An Art Form!

Mood: Frustrated (seriously. frustrated)

What I'm Watching: The Olympics (cross country skiing anyone?)

I'm grateful that I'm lucky enough to have insurance. Really. I am. For many years I wasn't so lucky. I worked hard but worked for places that didn't offer insurance and I couldn't afford to get any on my own. A major surgery and a bill to the tune of $30,000 makes one extremely grateful for a job where insurance is provided.*

BUT. (and you knew there had to be a but, right?) Is it really necessary for insurance companies to raise incompetence to an art form? For example, last year I had some symptoms that required some further investigation in the form of a medical procedure. After the procedure was completed, I received a letter from the insurance company asking for more information b/c they were concerned that the procedure was for a pre-existing condition. Huh? So, I called the insurance co. and asked some questions. The conversation went like this (cliff notes):

Me: I have a note here asking about pre-existing conditions associated w/ this procedure but it only gives me a code for the condition. What does the code mean?
Ins. Rep: Well, I can't tell you that because it would be a violation of your privacy.
Me: But I've already given you my name, date of birth, SS# and my account number. You've verified my identity.
Ins. Rep: I know, but I still can't tell you what the code means.
Me: But, you need to know if this code was a pre-existing condition?
Ins. Rep: Yes.
Me: And you need me to tell you if the code is a pre-existing condition?
Ins. Rep: Yes.
Me: But you can't tell me what the code means?
Ins. Rep: No
Me: (heavy sigh) you don't see the problem here?

Lather, rinse and repeat this conversation many times over the next few weeks until finally an ins. rep is able to tell me that they've received all the information they need from my doctor and I'm good to go. So, while I still don't know if I have the mystery pre-existing condition, the insurance company assures me that the claim will be processed and all will be well. Yay! Birds are singing, bells are ringing, deer are frolicking in the fields and all is well.

Until last month when I received a nasty collections notice from the hospital. Seems the bill hasn't been paid and now they want it paid in full or they're going to send me to collections...words like ruined credit rating and garnished wages are thrown about and I'm confused as to why the bill is A. so stinking high and B. so freaking late. If someone owed me money like that, I might not wait a year before billing them. Just sayin...

Sigh. I call the insurance company and am told that the claim hasn't been processed yet because they haven't received all the necessary information from the hospital. What?!? Sigh again, louder, longer, and with swearing this time!

So, to the hospital? The sharpest end of a pointy stick! If you can't provide the insurance company with the required information, how can you expect to be paid in a timely manner?!?

And to the insurance company? Really? Incompetence is not something to which you should aspire and maybe your job interviewing process should involve a little something more than just shoving a mirror under someone's nose just to ensure that they are, in fact, breathing!!!!**

*BTW, the hospital? Wanted that $30,000 paid in 90 days. According to them, the fact that I only made about $12,000 a year at the time should not have presented an issue. Morons.

**obviously, I don't know that this is the exact requirement for employment in the insurance industry. I'm sure that there are many fine, intelligent people who work in insurance...I'd just like to actually talk to a few of them, it would do wonders for my stress level.

Retail Therapy?

Mood: Sleepy (it's a sleepy type of a Sunday afternoon)

What I'm Watching: Lockup (They're letting the inmates work with rescue animals...interesting concept)

In an effort to forage for the essentials like toothpaste and toilet paper, the hubs and I had to make our weekly trek to Wal-Mart yesterday (exciting way to spend a weekend, no?). As usual, within 30 seconds of entering the parking lot, I was ready to start strangling people with my bare hands. What is it about shopping that turns ordinary people into card carrying members of the moron club?

In the interest of keeping the body count to a minimum and myself out of prison, I'd like to propose the following rules for shopping:

1.) When you are leaving the store, pushing your cart across the lot, you are not surrounded by a protective force field. My car is big, your bones are fragile, maybe you'd like to at least give a cursory glance around before jetting out in front of me.

2.) Parent is a verb. It's something that you need to do, not just something that you are. If your offspring is screaming, climbing out of your shopping cart, or opening packages of food and randomly tossing the contents on the floor? The correct response is not to continue chatting on your cell phone whilst randomly yelling and/or slapping said offspring. Put the damn phone down and pay proper attention to your children!

3.) While I'm on the subject of phones. Put the damn phone down already! Seriously. A quick phone call to  find out if you need paper towels? No problem. An extended phone call about who did what with who at the bar on Friday night? No one needs to hear that, especially the cashier who is being paid minimum wage for you to ignore her while she waits for you to stop gossiping long enough to pay her already! And people who talk on cell phones in the bathroom stalls? I'm also looking at you here. This is a situation where multitasking is NOT a good thing.

4.) Thanks to technology, the world is now a very small place. There are cell phones, social networking sites, texting options and the good old fashioned land line phone and while I'm super psyched that you've run into your old neighbor/cousin/sister/dear friend/mail carrier, stopping in the middle of a narrow aisle to catch up on the last 20 years of news? Not acceptable.  I really don't care where your son is going to college or how many kids your daughter has. So exchange phone numbers, promise to look each other up on facebook and get the hell out of my way already!

5.) The express lanes? The ones that say 20 items or less? Stop pulling into those lanes with a cart filled to overflowing. And when you do get into those lanes? Don't look annoyed when people like me, who are stuck behind your dumbass with one or two items, make a comment about your apparent lack of math and/or reading skills.

I really have never seen the appeal of "retail therapy" but I do understand the need for therapy after a retail experience!

Tis the Season for Bickering and Judgement???

Mood: Worried (A very dear friend is in the hospital in critical condition. What started out as a simple case of a cold/flu has quickly spiraled into a life threatening condition)


What I'm Watching: Hoarders (Yes, again. It's like a train wreck, I tell you! I just can't stop watching it.)

Current Word Count: 11,637 (WooHoo! My muse is back and, even in the midst of the busy Christmas season, she's kicking some major hiney!)

It's the Christmas season again. Time for caroling, shopping, seeing friends and family and, unfortunately, it's also time for all the crazy folks to come crawling out of the woodwork. No, I'm not talking about your weird Uncle Joe...he's an entirely different kind of crazy. I'm talking about those people who, from one extreme to the other, try to take one of the happiest, kindest, most festive times of the year and turn it into one giant pissing contest.

On Saturday morning I was sitting with the hubs, reading the morning paper and munching on a poptart (blueberry if that sort of thing is important to you) when I noticed that there, on the front page, was an article about atheists who have their panties in a wad about the celebration of Christmas and how horrible it is when they are forced to shop in stores where Christmas music is played, where they are wished a “Merry Christmas” or where Christmas trees are displayed. And heaven Lord someone appropriate help them if they are *gasp* forced to see a Nativity scene in a public area.

I read the article, rolled my eyes, shared my frustration with the hubs and read my way through the paper where I came across another article detailing how some Christians are having a fit and boycotting certain stores who refuse to say “Merry Christmas” and instead opt for the more politically correct (?) “Happy Holidays”.

I really just don't get this mentality. So you don't believe in God and you choose not to celebrate Christmas. So what? Then a Christmas tree is just a tree with sparkly lights on it and religious Christmas carols are just songs that you may not enjoy listening to (I’m not a fan of heavy metal but you don’t see me demanding that it never be played in public). Seriously folks, it's not like the tree is going to tackle you, force you to read and swear belief in the Bible and it's highly doubtful that "O Holy Night" contains subliminal messages designed to turn you into a Bible thumping evangelist.

So you believe in God and celebrate Christmas as the birth day of the Christ child. That’s fantastic! But does someone wishing you a “Happy Holiday” suddenly nullify your belief system? Does it make the season any less holy to you? I sincerely hope not.

People? Get over your freaking selves!! Since when did we become so incredibly self-centered as a society that just being exposed to someone else's belief system (or lack thereof) constitutes an offense to our sensibilities? Really, if your belief system is so incredibly fragile that it can be affected or destroyed by simply being exposed to someone else’s then I suggest you need to seriously reevaluate your core beliefs.

Personally, I’m a Christian and the hubs is an atheist. We’ve happily spent the last 10 years together without either of us being offended by or being converted to the beliefs of the other. We have a Christmas tree and a Nativity set in our living room and the hubs? Still has his lack of belief firmly intact. I? Live with someone who sees Christmas as a bastardized version of a Pagan holiday but my belief in God and his Son remain firmly in place. So, wish me a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanzaa or Happy Pagan Ritualistic Holiday. It’s all good. I’m comfortable enough in my own skin to allow you to be comfortable in yours.

My Favorite Things

Mood: Sucky (Really, really sucky)

What I'm Watching: World's Dumbest Partiers 3 (Because this is what happens when I share the remote w/ the hubs)

Current Word Count: 10,685 (That's right. Broke out the super ninja writing skillz yesterday!)

Today? Was totally an Alexander type day. For those of you who don't get that reference...well, you totally need to read this:

When I was a little girl my mom would always read me this book to cheer me up when I was having a horrible day. Unfortunately, my copy of Alexander is long gone and the idea of a 36 year old woman calling her mommy over to read her a story to make her feel better is too pathetic even for me.

Left to my own devices this evening, I took a nap, formulated elaborate revenge plots for those who made my day absolutely miserable and contemplated the effort that would be involved in creating a doll into which I could stab little pins. I admit, the stabby part made me a bit happy but I quickly realized that I'm not a domestic, crafty type person and the only person likely to be stabbed by a pin in the process would be me. That made me not so happy.

Now I've moved on to the next phase of my recovery. This phase usually involves lots of:

Along with various other chocolately soul soothing treats...none of which are good for me. Alas, I find myself in the house with absolutely no chocolatey goodness with which to console myself. Also? It's - 20° outside so I'm not about to go out and get some either. Sigh.

After reflection, I've decided that, in the spirit of the Christmas season, I would reflect on some of the better things in my life. The things that make me happy in the hopes that I will be able to cheer myself up. So, here they are, a la Julie Andrews (only without the amazing singing voice), some of my favorite things:

Just because I don't currently have any, doesn't mean that I'm not happy that Ben and Jerry exist and that they made something as yummy as Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream.

My Christmas tree! We may have gone a bit overboard on the lights but it's sparkly and shiny and on Christmas morning Santa Hubs will have left some wonderfully beautiful gifts for me!!

LOL cats are amazingly funny and this one has the added perk of including some pharmacuetical humor as well. As someone who suffers from anxiety attacks I know that sometimes better living through pharmacueticals (physician approved of course)  is the only way to go!! :)

My nephews and my niece. Seriously, have you ever seen such cutie pie faces? They're funny, fun and they provide endless entertainment. I don't think that there's any way to look at those little pudge faces and still remain angry with the world.

Okay, I admit it. This one makes me smile if for no other reason than it allows me to imagine the ability to strangle the living crap out of all the people who contributed to the craptastic factor of my day today.

Obviously I have not fully completed the recovery process.

Didn't We Cover This in Kindergarten?

Mood: Saddened (Just heard that Patrick Swayze has passed away. I had so hoped he'd be one of the rare few who would beat pancreatic cancer. He fought the good fight, may he rest in peace.)

What I'm Watching: Gabriel Iglesias: Hot and Fluffy (This dude is so freaking funny: "Why do you drink diet soda? So I can eat regular cake!"....gotta love that!)

Current Word Count: 8,475 (absolutely shameful!)

First it was Representative Joe Wilson shouting "You Lie!" as President Obama was addressing Congress, then it was Kanye West jumping up and taking the mic from Taylor Swift at the VMA's. Seriously? Are there people that just missed elementary school entirely? Who doesn't remember their teachers standing at the front of the class with that annoyed I wish I could beat every single one of you little heathens look on his/her face saying "No one speaks while I'm speaking!"?

And assuming you missed the many "listen while others are speaking" lectures during your tenure at various educational institutions, certainly your parental units would have mentioned that it was impolite to interrupt while others were speaking or, at the very least, slapped you upside the head and told you to 'shut the hell up!'.

However, since it's obvious that some people fell through the cracks, here it is: You don't have to like what's being said. You don't have to agree with what's being said. Hell, you don't even have to listen to what's being said but if you are at an event and you are not the one up front with a microphone then keep your ass in your seat and a piece of duct tape over your mouth or I'll send my mother over to slap the stupid out of you!

And This May Be Why I No Longer Work Retail...

Mood: Lazy (It's been a busy, busy day and now I'm just plain old lazy)

What I'm watching: Women's Nationals Gymnastics (apparently watching the cheerleading thing last night didn't properly quash my self esteem so I'm going back for more).

Scott and I had to brave Wal-Mart today since we needed Wal-Mart type stuff (body wash, toilet paper, etc.) and we also needed a good price on a new tire for Scott's car.

Normally a trip to Wal-Mart isn't a huge deal but today, well, it was it's own little slice of hell on earth. Why? Three little words. Back.To.School. The aisles were crowded with stressed and weary adults dragging around their cranky and overstimulated offspring. There was yelling and screaming (from the adults) and whining and tantrum throwing (from the children) and snide, irritated comments (from people like me).

Also? We saw a woman have a monumental melt down. She was in the front of the store, screaming at the Wal-Mart greeter that she'd lost her father. Now, we're talking about a woman who was at least 40 years old (with bad make-up making her look an incarnation of Bette Davis ala Whatever Happened to Baby Jane) and she's screaming like a banshee because she's lost her father.

After listening to her yelling at the poor Wal-Mart greeter for about five minutes (and honestly, what power does the Wal-Mart greeter really have?) I was finally able to riddle out what was going on (FYI? Screaming? So not helpful in establishing meaningful communication). Seems her father is something like 95 years old and not in good health. He was riding one of those Wal-Mart carts and had, apparently, gotten himself lost. And, it seems that this woman believed that this was somehow the problem of those who were working at Wal-Mart. She kept screaming that it was important, that they needed to do something that it was a VERY SERIOUS ISSUE.

As I was listening to her rant I began to wonder about a couple of things. First, just what did she expect the people at Wal-Mart to do? Did she expect a super secret Wal-Mart swat team to storm the store and find her father for her? Did she think they'd issue a code Adam for a 95 year old man riding a motorized cart? And, really? If her father's condition was that delicate and he was that unstable then why the heck didn't she stay with him in the first place? I mean, we're not talking about a three year old toddler who can take off like a shot the minute you turn your back. We're talking about a 95 year old man in bad health riding on a motorized cart that goes all of two miles per hour. How the heck does he get away from you in the first place??

I have to say that I stood in silent awe as I watched the employees listen to the screaming without resorting to physical violence. I was impressed as they paged the 95 year old man without ever once pointing out to the hysterically crazy woman that, really, she should have been taking better care of her father and that it wasn't their fault that he'd gotten lost. Personally? I think I would have flicked her in the head and told her that her father had probably run away to get a break from her insane self.

And this may be why I'm no longer employed in the retail sector.

The Short List is Getting Longer Everyday!

Mood: Worn Out (this week has already lasted a year and it's only Thursday morning)

What I'm listening to: "Our Song" by Taylor Swift (What can I say, I still have a tiny bit of country running through my veins).

I have a new addiction: McDonald's Sweet Tea. YUMMMM!!! So, this morning (having scrounged the necessary $1.06 out of my change tray), I was in line at the drive thru looking for my morning fix. I placed my order, handed over my money and was waiting patiently when the person in the large, obnoxious, diesel guzzling pick up behind me decides that it's taking too long and starts honking his horn. Uh, moron? Honking your horn at me is not going to make the process go any faster because, you know, I'm not the one actually making the food/drinks here. Honestly, what did this genius expect me to do? Crawl through the window and make my own tea?

He's definitely on my list today.

Also on my short list recently?

Cigna insurance: Sending me a request for additional information on a possible pre-existing condition? No problem. Refusing to tell me what that pre-existing condition is? Completely moronic. How am I supposed to answer all your stupid questions if I don't even know what the hell you're talking about???

My step-daughter's summer camp: Cancelling camp due to the swine flu was probably a very good idea. Cancelling it at the last minute, annoying. Deciding to go ahead and get all the campers together for a single day anyway...well, doesn't that defeat the idea of NOT having all them gathered in the same place so as to minimize the chance of spreading infection?!?

The Radiologist: He sent me a bill for $1.00. A lousy dollar. Now, it's not that I mind paying the dollar. It's a dollar. But really? By the time he pays to print the bill, have someone fold and stuff it, then pays the postage on that bill...well, it's going to end up costing him at least 20¢ to collect my dollar. Is it bad that I briefly considered making two payments of 50¢ each?

North Korea: Seriously? Get over yourself.

Giordano's Pizza on Rush Street, Chicago: Obviously they watched the 'Soup Nazi' episode of Seinfeld one too many times. 3 hours of waiting outside on a hot, muggy day in the city only to be seated 2 feet from the guy screaming names into the loudspeaker? NOT an ideal dining experience. FYI? The PA system is meant to prevent the need to scream! Scott says this was all worth it because Giordano's has the.best.pizza.ever (mind you, this is the same man who once refused to wait 30 minutes to eat at a place I really like). I say Scott needs his head examined because, by the time we got served, I was so: tired, cranky, hot, annoyed and headachy I just wanted to hurt someone. badly. No pizza is worth that mess.

Adults who insist on acting like spoiled children: GROW UP! I'm not your mother, your father or your nanny. I'm not responsible for you in any way. If you don't get something done, that's not my problem. If you get your feelings hurt, learn to deal with it. If you look for reasons to be offended, expect to be offended and I will assume that you enjoy being offended. If you don't like the way something is going, figure out a way to change it. Acting like a spoiled brat and throwing a fit because things aren't going your way? NOT ACCEPTABLE. Also? If you are going to insist on acting like a three year old, pouting and having a fit? Don't be surprised if you find yourself sitting in the time out corner until you can behave appropriately!

Seriously? Some days I wonder why I don't end up under my desk, curled in a small ball, eating my own hair.

Shouldn't There be a Test or Something?

Mood: Worried (My new neice, baby Miley, is only four days old and back in the hospital to treat a case of jaundice..I know she'll be fine but I'm worried just the same).

What I'm watching: George Lopez (Gotta Love George....I GOT THIS!)

Honestly, have we gotten to the point where we award a driver's license to anyone who actually manages to show up at the DMV with a pulse? In an effort to lower my bloodpressure and give the horn in my car a break (I'm too ladylike to use hand-gestures), I've generated the following rules for sharing the roadway with me:

1.) It's called a turn signal, it's not there for decoration so I suggest you learn to use it!

2.) If you are driving the wrong way down a one-way street (you know who you are), you do not get to stop your car and cuss me out for being in the "wrong" lane! Seriously, next time, I may be compelled to kick your hiney just on principle.

3.) Do Not ride my bumper. I can't stress this enough. Somedays I'm irritated enough with the world that I just might have to slam on my breaks and allow you to hit me. Remember, where I live it doesn't matter the reason, if you rear-end someone the accident is YOUR fault. I know from experience replacing my bumper costs in the neighborhood of $2,000. Oh, and if you think riding my bumper is going to make me go faster...it won't. In fact, when someone is riding my bumper, the craziest thing happens...I suddenly start driving like I'm 105 years old and can't find the gas peddle...I once made a guy follow me for 10 blocks at 4mph...don't test me!

4.) Do Not park so close to me that you need a can opener to get out of your vehicle because if you hit my car with your door because you were too stupid/drunk/blind or just plain ignorant to park your car in an appropriate manner, rest assured that I will hunt you down and make you pay for the damage. By the way, I also know from experience that re-painting my car door will run you somewhere in the neighborhood of $500.

5.) This one is for pedestrians but, since it pertains to driving as well, I thought I'd include it. Do Not walk right out in front of me and expect me to slam my breaks and come to a screeching halt just to avoid hitting you. My car is big and your bones are fragile...you do the math. Sure, most of the time I will stop because I like my car and I don't want blood stains on it. BUT. You just never know when I'll decide that running your stupid self over is a public service. Honestly, if you can't figure out that a huge metal object hurling at you going at least 30 MPH is something to be avoided, you shouldn't be allowed to contaminate the gene pool.

6.) If you are cruising the parking lot, looking for a place to park, you do not get to stop and block traffic for ten minutes while waiting for someone to unload their cart and vacate their parking space. First, someone like me is likely to come unglued and hurt you and second, it really will not hurt your couch potato backside to walk five more feet into the store.

7.) Pursuant to Rule 6. Should you decide to stop and block traffic for an extended period of time only to discover that you are much too close to the car in question to allow it to vacate the parking space you so ardently desire, Do Not expect me to back up and give you room. You can put your car in reverse, inch backwards, give me dirty looks and honk your horn all you want. I'm.not.moving! Not only will I not back up, but after you've been forced to move along and leave behind your "prime" parking spot, I will allow the car to vacate it's spot and will park in the coveted spot myself.