What I'm Watching: 2012: Startling New Secrets (Quick! Everyone panic!)
Current Word Count: Le Sigh (I've been out all weekend so no real writing has gotten done)
- After my week from hell, the hubs decided it would be fun to kidnap me and spend a nice evening at a hotel complete w/ hot tub in the room. He gets points for trying, but let's face it friends, anyone who actually reads my blog knows that this simply cannot end well. Let's just say that the evening culminated with a show down in the lobby at 12:15 am as I explained to the desk clerk that sleeping on a sheet that was covered in someone else's *ahem* bodily fluids and excrement was NOT an acceptable state of affairs. (let's not talk about the fact that I'd already sat on the sheet before I realized it's soiled state...not enough hot water in the free world for me to feel clean again!) I also had to explain to him that the appropriate response to the issue was not "we don't have any housekeeping staff here right now but here's a clean sheet set for you, just go change your sheets."
- I'm all for recycling. Really, I am. I mean, I'm too damn lazy to really do too much about it but I whole heartedly support those who aren't as lazy and uncommitted as I am. However, even I have my limits and this weekend, I discovered them. People? The hubs and I went into a Christmas store and there, on display at the counter, was a tree covered in "recycled" Christmas ornaments. Not a bad idea, right? Until you realize that they were recycled from elephant poo! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, deck your halls with boughs of elephant dung. Right under the tree? Christmas Cards made from recycled cow poo. Nothing says "hey, I love you and want you to have a great holiday season" like sending your friends and family a card made from a big old pile of cow shit.
- This 2012 stuff is really getting out of hand. Maybe the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012. Maybe the Mayan's really did know something that we don't know but really? I suspect that the guy who was writing the Mayan calendar just got freaking tired and figured that 2012 was far enough in the future and that the next poor bastard could finish the damn thing. At any rate, I'm toying with the idea of planning a Christmas/end of the world party on December 21, 2012...we'll have to wait til the end of the evening to see which way it goes.
Hahaha! I shall always look forward to starting my day with your snarky comments! Absolutely fabulous.
ReplyDelete1 I hate hotels! I always take my own pillows, and if my husband would let me, I would bring my own sheets. But he will only put up with so much of my insane OCDness.
2. I think the poo as a Christmas card has some merit. I've always wondered what to send to my husband's ass of an ex-boss to show him just how we feel about him.
3. I LOVE the idea of a Christmas end of the world party!!! You, my dear, are brilliant!!