31 March 2009

Why Do All the Annoying People Live Next to Us!?!

Mood: Frustrated (Apartment living is not the utopia that one would hope)

What I'm Watching: The Osbournes Reloaded (I know, I should be ashamed of myself but I'm totally not!)

Have I mentioned lately just how much I want to move out of this wretched apartment?!? Forget the mold in the bathroom (just how bad can mold growing on the ceiling actually be?), forget the hole in the cabinet under the kitchen sink (after all, it's only been 3 years since the owner promised he'd be back to fix it 'next week'), and let's even forget about the constant rent increases, the thermostat that has absolutely NO markings or temperature readings (it's like having our very own game show...will it be the arctic tundra or the tropics in our livingroom...turn the dial and find out!) and the parking lot that has pot holes large enough to swallow your average midsize car. All of that pales in comparison to the neverending stream of freaking neighbors we've been forced to endure over the past few years.

The latest in a long line of irritating people who have shared our paper thin walls are rapidly pushing me into imminent neck punching territory! Normally I am a very deep sleeper. Tornadoes? I'd be snoring away as we were lifted into OZ. Earthquakes? I did actually sleep through one of those. Home Invasion? Heck, the theives could probably steal the bed right out from underneath me and I'd continue dreaming undisturbed. However, there are a couple of exceptions to the 'deep sleep' rule. I am trained to wake up to two sounds: a phone ringing and the alarm clock. That's it. Two things. Guess what two noises constantly come from the neighbors apartment???

Yep. That's right. Saturday morning around 3:00 am I was awakened by the ringing of the neighbors cell phone. Apparently the neighbor had set the phone as an alarm clock so the phone kept ringing for 3 minutes at a time. Every. five. minutes. FOR. THREE. FREAKING. HOURS!!! Sparky (Mr. 'I can't sleep if the neighbors sneeze too loud') is blissfully snoring away as I contemplate the odds of my being able to actually punch through the wall separating me and the cell phone and disposing of the offending noise by throwing the phone at the offending neighbor to wake him up. After all, if he set the alarm he must want to get up, right? So, actually I'd be doing him a neighborly favor.

People? If you set your alarm for 3:00 am, perhaps you shouldn't stay up until 2:00 am with 30 of your closest friends crammed into your tiny studio apartment. And, if you do decide to set the alarm for 3:00 am you'd better damn well haul your lazy ass out of bed and turn the damn thing off or I'm going to go all Mr. Kool-aid next time and crash through your wall and put your cell phone somewhere where it will become very difficult for you to actually answer it!

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