31 May 2009

And Now a Quick Recap...

Mood: Tired? Stressed? Cranky? (can't quite decide today which, I assure you, has made life very interesting for my long suffering husband).

What I'm watching: Alf (still freaking hilarious everytime he tries to eat the cat!)

Since I've been MIA again, a quick recap of my last few weeks:

1.) As we have already established, Scott and I are the poster children for travelers annonymous. We've also established that we're learning impaired because we keep trying. A couple of weekends ago (after an invigorating round of undeserved family drama...from my side of the family), my lovely husband arranged for a relaxing weekend away. In a lovely hotel. That was hosting the participants of a local dog show...along with their 5 million barking dogs. Did I mention my allergies? Yep. And, we were on the ground floor, near the door...Can I adequately describe the joy of having those 5 million barking dogs being left to do their *ahem* business just under our airconditioning unit? No. No I don't think I can properly describe the aromatic enjoyment that comes from having that particular brand of air freshener sucked in and circulated around our hotel room. People? There are some things that even industrial Febreeze cannot cover up. I'm just saying... Oh, and do I even need to mention that the fire alarm woke us up at 7:00 am? Yes, this has happened to us before. At a different hotel. We have obviously seriously pissed off the travel gods.

2.) Family drama level has reached DEFCON 5 billion and 2 over the last few weeks. Am supremely grateful for my wonderful, loving husband who keeps me from embarking on on some ill-fated, badly conceived plan involving a belltower and firearms.

3.) I have discovered that I'm a basically lazy, self-indulgent creature. Now, before those of you who know me respond with the totally called for "duh", let me just explain what preceeded this particular epiphany. I remember with fond nostalgia the hot summer days of my youth when I would enter a grocery store, a restaurant, or other establishment to be met with an artic blast of cold air that would cause my glasses to fog and goosepimples to form on my arms and legs. It was like walking from the heart of the sun into a cool, refreshing meat freezer and I loved every tooth chattering minute of it.

However, recently I've noticed a decided lack of arctic like temperatures as I've entered retail establishments. In fact, for the first few weeks of warm weather, I thought I was having hot flashes every time I entered a store and would constantly ask "is it hot in here, or is it just me?" Turns out that it's not just me. It's a combination of stores trying to appear environmentally friendly (sort of) and saving money on utility bills (ding, ding, ding...we have a winner here!). As much as I love the environment and saving money, I have to say that I get so incredibly cranky when I'm uncomfortable that I really do become a menace to society. So, honestly? It would be in everyone's best interest to either A. grab the jaws of life, loosen the wallet and turn down the air, OR B. Stay the heck out of my way because if I'm having a lack of air conditioning induced hot flash in the middle of a store things could get really ugly. Fair warning.

4.) I love my husband. A lot. I spent all day at a kite festival with him. He loves kites. I love him. Therefore I allowed him to live...even after 5 hours in the sun watching what, for me, amounts to the thrill of watching paint dry. Did I mention the sunburn?

5.) Speaking of paint...since I've worked at the church I've discovered that I have a severe allergic reaction to a particular type of paint. How did I discover this? It's the paint that they insist on using every.single.time. Days of burning eyes (ever pour bleach in your eye? neither have I but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what it feels like), itching skin (I also now know how a dog with fleas feels), and burning lungs can really take their toll. Also? Paint fumes do not disappear overnight. Let the misery continue!

So, there you have it. The highlights of my life this month.

07 May 2009

Random Blog Thoughts

Mood: Sleepy (It's way past my bedtime. *yawn*)

What I'm watching: Oprah. (I know, I know. I never watch Oprah, but it's the Elizabeth Edwards interview and I loves watching me a sad little train wreck.)

1.) Swine flu is totally allowing me to embrace my inner Monk and give full reign to my OCD tendencies. Seriously folks, you might want to consider buying stock in the Purell/Germ-X companies because my usage alone is going to ensure record breaking profits.

2.) Twitter is totally addictive. No one cares what I'm doing from minute to minute but yet I can't help but putting it out there anyway.

Hmmm...guess that's it for tonight. Brain cells fried. Need sleep.

03 May 2009

Adventures in Domestic Sciences

Mood: Happy...sort of (it's been a long day but I've more or less pleased with the results of my efforts and can't be completely happy because I'm intensely craving a blue raspberry ICEE.)

What I'm Watching: King of the Hill (Who knew that the guy who helped create the annoyingly stupid Beavis and Butthead could also create the genious of Hank Hill and Boomhauer. And Dale Gribble? Might not be as paranoid as everyone suspects him to be...I'm just sayin').

I have a confession to make. Despite my overacheiving, obsessive-compulsive must maintain a perfect 4.0 - having a nervous breakdown over my first 'B' (because I was sure that 'B' meant I was an absolute idiot who was doomed to work the slurpee machine for the rest of my life...Yes. I've always been over the top dramatic and obviously hadn't completely plugged in to just how fun running the slurpee machine could actually be) academic career, there is a rather large skeleton lurking in my academic closet.

Home Ec. Sewing, cooking, setting a proper table, etc.? So NOT my thing. While I sailed through honors Math, Science and English I struggled with properly running a sewing machine. Bobbins still confuse me (how the hell does that work?), patterns make no sense (and why do they make it out of such thin freaking paper?), and my one sewing project? Looked like it had been made by a drunk blind person on crack. The teacher gave me a pity 'C' because she knew how hard I'd tried. Yep. Even with concerted effort, that's the best I could do.

So, after weeks of looking for the perfect laptop case with no luck whatsoever, what do I decide to do? Make.my.own. What the hell was I thinking? I don't sew. I can barely thread a needle and now I'm trying to modify patterns, create pockets, and *gasp* use a newly purchased craft grade sewing machine.

The good news is that I found some super cute fabric so the laptop case will be competely funky if I finish it and if, in fact, it even resembles a laptop case when I'm done. *Sigh* At this point the most I can hope for is that it will look good enough that, instead of thinking that it was made by a drunk blind person on crack, people will think that it was made by an only slightly tipsy 80 year old woman with cataracts.

Never fear. Pictures will be posted when the project is finished so that the mocking may commence.