I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore...

Mood: Grateful (that all my family is safe after last night's tornado touch downs), overwhelmed (by the amount of damage that was done) and hopeful (that the injured are well on the road to recovery).

On Tv: Judge Judy (Nothing like a cranky judge to take your mind off of reality)

As some of my Twitter peeps already know we had some more than interesting weather travel through our area last night. Tornado warnings (yes, plural) were issued, tornadoes were sighted, tornadoes touched down and stayed on the ground for more than 20 miles through two towns.

Luckily, the worst of it just missed us. The town where some of my family lives was not so lucky. The tornado, as tornadoes go, was a relatively small one. An EF2 on a scale that goes up to EF5. However, even this "small" tornado did an amazing amount of damage. Here are a few pics we managed to snap this morning.

Keep in mind that we were not able to get anywhere near the areas of severe damage - these were just the neighborhoods/areas with "minor" tornado damage.

Here's a shot of some healthy trees that were knocked over and some were completely uprooted.

And here's another shot of an uprooted tree:

The classic tornado shot - a piece of a nearby metal silo rammed through a power pole.

A stop sign in a corn field. We have no idea where the sign came from. The nearest corners still had theirs (bent, but still intact).

And finally, a brand new barn building...thankfully the house escaped any  major damage. Unfortunately, my aunt's family farm wasn't quite so lucky.

YA? Why?

Status: Meh (long day at work but had an amazing dinner - life evens itself out)

On tv: World's Dumbest Criminals (seriously, even I had no idea that there was this much stupid running around)

We spent last weekend attending my step-daughter's high school graduation. A six hour road trip just to get there, tons of gifts, lots of hugs and, of course, plenty of tears later I'm proud to say that the hubs and I are now the parents of a high school graduate.

As we watched our precious little girl cruising down the aisle while a rock version of Pomp and Circumstance blasted from the PA system (seriously? how kick ass is that?), I noticed that she was crying. Not just regular crying but full on snotty nosed, wracking sobs crying. Really? Crying?

<----  Oh, yes, there was sobbing.

I watched her collect her diploma and I couldn't help but think back to my own high school graduation. There had been no tears from me on that night. I'd walked through my entire four years of high school with a cosmic kick me sign taped to the back of my hand me down K-Mart clothing and, on graduation day, I was so incredibly happy to be done that I couldn't wait to get my diploma in my hand and leave my high school experience behind me forever.


Which leaves me wondering why I'm drawn to writing YA novels...it's not like I'm trying to relive my high school glory days because, let me assure you, I had none. I had humiliating days, awkward days, lonely days, ugly days, and hurt filled days but definitely no glory days. After that kind of experience, you'd think the last place I'd want to revisit, even in fiction, would be high school. Yet, that's where I often find myself when I sit down to write.

I open a word document to find myself once again navigating the uncomfortable territory of high school hallways, lunchroom table seating politics and the horrors of the girls locker room during gym class. *shudder* Why? Really, why would I want to do that? Maybe it's like being a ghost stuck in an endless loop reliving your own murder over and over again until your murder is avenged. Only in my case it's more like being an awkward teenager reliving the moment when I got stung by a bee - on my ass- in the middle of gym class or the day that I slipped and fell, butt naked, coming out of the shower in the girl's locker room? I mean, it's practically the same thing, right? Hell, I think I would have preferred dropping dead over laying there on the cold tile floor of the locker room while all the cool, pretty girls laughed at me (okay, I totally would have probably laughed at me too, but still...).

As I sat through that hot, neverending ceremony (was the 20 minute slide show really necessary?), I realized that I write YA because teenagers can be mature and funny, smart and naive, hopeful and angsty all at the same time. They have the future wide open ahead of them and think that they've lived it all and have all the answers. Basically, they can be anything and everything - often all in the same day (if they're teenage girls, they can run the full gamut in less than 10 minutes). They're fun and interesting if you don't have to live with them.

Here's our graduate! It's all official, the sobs are gone, the smiles have appeared and may her future be just as bright and filled with joy as she is!

Also? If a character who vaguely resembles one of the cool, pretty clique of girls who tormented me during high school just happens to fall, butt naked, coming out of the girls shower in one of my novels? It's totally a coincidence. I swear.

Dan Quayle Was Here?

Status: Crazy stressed (lots going on, not enough time or sanity to go around)

On tv: Addicted (Another intervention type show - wondering if my slight obsession with reality tv could be considered an addiction. Maybe I need an intervention?)

The hubs took me out to dinner tonight because, well, I was having a bad day and he knew that if I didn't feel like cooking, dinner prep would fall to him  he loves me and wanted to pamper me. It was steak night at the restaurant that he chose - so YAY!! Sorry, but I seriously loves me some steak! :)

However, when we sat down at the table and I glanced at the "special" steak menu, I felt my eye start to twitch. The special menu listed the different types of steaks one might order along with the note that each meal came complete with a salad, a dessert and my choice of POTATOE.

Really? You run a restaurant and you don't know how to spell "potato"? *sigh* I tried to ignore it. I tried to convince myself it didn't matter if the word was spelled wrong but really, it does matter. I couldn't sit there and eat at a table where the little standing menu proclaimed that I could have a potatoe.

So, I did what any self respecting writer would do. I pulled my favorite pen out of my purse, removed the paper insert and scribbled out the "e" at the end of the word. Finally all was right in my world and I could enjoy my dinner.

Tomorrow, I'm totally fixing the sign outside the local market advertising the fact that they "except" debit cards.

I seriously suspect my hubs has the local insane asylum on speed dial.

Some (More or Less) Helpful Advice for Writers

Status: Worn Out - I think that this week may have already lasted about a month.

On Tv: The Maury Show - I'm no genius but I'm betting it's going to be about someone who doesn't know who her baby's daddy is.

It seems that there's been a lot of discussion around the writerly interwebs lately about our "on-line presence" as writers. How we should brand ourselves, how we should present ourselves and whether we should post about our writing or discuss the publishing business. ACK!!!! 

At first? I'll be honest, I blew it off. I was all "I'm like Popeye!" I am who I am, right? Or am I? After reading one too many articles I started to worry about what I was saying and how I was presenting myself. Suddenly I was afraid that I was coming across too...angry (road rage) or judgemental (weird neighbors) and just plain old self centered and intolerant (Dealing with the public).

Suddenly it was like I was back in high school worried about wearing the wrong clothes (which I totally did - we were poor, my clothes were K-Mart hand me downs)* or sitting at the wrong table at lunch (the cool kids don't want to sit next to the poor, K-Mart hand me down wearing nerd). I would start a blog post and delete it just as quickly because I was certain I wouldn't be presenting my writer self in the best light.

Then, today I read another "top ten tips for authors" article - this time giving advice for television interviews and public appearances. One of the first things on the list? The tv adds pounds so dress to hide yours. The article also went on to say that it wouldn't be out of line to consider minor cosmetic procedures like botox or collagen injections. Seriously? WTF? BOTOX????

It was then that I realized just how crazy some of this advice really is. Sure, some of it is great. Some of it is great for some writers. However. Some of it? Is.total.crapola. So, I came up with my own list of helpful advice for authors (aspiring or otherwise).

1.) Write the way you want to write. Plan, outline or just fly by the seat of your pants. Edit as you go, or edit at the end. Whatever works for you because writing is an art and art is in the journey and the beauty of the art is appreciated differently by different people. That's okay!

2.) Be who you are...whatever that means. For me it means that sometimes I'm cranky, intolerant and just plain in a bad mood. It also means that sometimes I'm kind, compassionate, caring and empathetic. If someone chooses to judge me based on one or two blog posts? There's nothing I can do about that but I'd rather have someone dislike me for who I am than like me for who I'm pretending to be.

3.) Don't worry so much about what people think of the way you look. I'm fat and no amount of clothing is going to hide that. I've also got gray hair, laugh lines, and vampire pale skin. But you know what? That's okay because it's part of who I am. If I want to lose weight, cover my gray or get botox because I think it will make me feel better about myself? Then fine. But I'm not going to do it to impress someone who more than likely doesn't care about how I look anyway. Seriously...when was the last time you looked at an author interview and thought "gee, I'd love to read her books but she's just too fat and wrinkly to possibly write good fiction."

Remember, chances are you're not perfect but there is every chance that you are perfectly and uniquely you!

4.) Finally, some advice specifically for women: Buy.a.tiara. Seriously. Because writer girls in tiaras just rock!

So, there you have it...my very best writerly advice. Take it for what it's worth, throw out the rest and, as I've said before, embrace your inner awesome!

* The hand me downs? Were often from my grandmother. If you think wearing your grandmother's hand me down K-Mart clothes doesn't make you the most popular girl in school then you just didn't know what you were missing!

Epic Blogger Type Contest

Status: Tired (is 10:00 pm too late for a nap?)

On tv: The Simpsons (Classic!)

Guess what's going on in the interwebs? Go on, guess. Give up????

Alright then, I'll just tell you. In honor of reaching 300 bloggie type stalker people Carol over at Carol's Prints is hosting an epically epic contest. Seriously. You can even dance for more chances to win. That's right. I said dance. On the interwebs. For prizes. Kind of like Dancing With the Stars only without the stars part. The prizes are totally incredible so it might be worth the public humiliation to up your chances to win. For someone else I mean. Not necessarily me. No one needs to see me dance.

*Ahem* Anyway you should totally head over to Carol's blog and enter her contest because even if you don't win, she's a totally awesome blogger, writer and internet friend so it's a win/win!

Jury Duty Again? Really?

Mood: Happy (My brother is home for keeps from the USAF! The best words ever? Honorable Discharge! Well, that and free chocolate.)

What I'm Watching: The Soup (All the celebrity crap I didn't have time to keep up with through the week. What could be better?)

I? Am officially the local government's biotch. For the second time in as many years I've been summoned for jury duty. This time it's for grand jury duty which means I'm on deck for 18 months. That's eight.teen months! Luckily we only meet when necessary so hopefully it won't be an every week thing but knowing my luck every single felon in the entire county will choose this as the perfect time to commit a crime.

On the plus side, I'm getting a good look at how the court systems around here work so if I ever decide to branch out and write a book about a fat, 30 something year old woman who totally loses her mind after being called up for jury duty one too many times...well, I'm totally covered.

Enter The Duck-Man

Mood: Happy (I've had a great weekend w/ the hubs enjoying the nice spring weather!)

What I'm Watching: Kirstie Alley's Big Life (Seriously? I think I need a reality TV intervention but watching Kirstie Alley getting a Twitter intervention is just too funny!)

If you were a pre-teen/teen in the 80's then there's little doubt that you were well aquainted with phenomenon that was the John Hughes teenage movie. The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off - they're all absolutely amazing and if you were born after the 80's and haven't yet seen them, you should run right out to your local video store and rent them. If you were a teen in the 80's and you haven't seen them? What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Anyway, while they're all great, what's been sticking in the back of my mind for the last few days is the Mollie Ringwald/Jon Cryer classic "Pretty In Pink".

For those of you heathens who are unfamiliar with the magical genius that is "Pretty In Pink", the movie is a basic love triangle (but with a kick ass 80's sound track and hello? Jon Cryer). Mollie Ringwald plays Andie - a poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who is constantly accompanied (and semi-stalked) by her friend Duckie (played brilliantly by Jon Cryer) who is totally and utterly in love with her. Then, of course, what teenage drama would be complete withouat the totally cool, completely awesome, popular and rich guy - in this case we have Blane (played by Andrew McCarthy).

At the end of the movie, Andie ends up with Blane. Blane. Yes, I know I totally just gave away the ending of the movie - too damn bad, you've had over 20 years to watch it!

Ahem, anyway, Andie ends up with Blane but every woman I know, knows that she totally should have ended up with Duckie. Duckie might not have been as rich or classically handsome as Blane but the  Duck Man was totally there for her no matter what. He was even gracious in defeat - if being with Blane was going to make Andie happy? Duckie was totally willing to step aside and let her be happy with Blane.

*Sigh* How romantic right? So how could she not have ended up with Duckie? The truth is that, orginally, Andie did end up with Duckie but that ending didn't play well in front of test audiences. They wanted Andie to end up with Blane so the ending was changed because it was thought it would "play better" for the film audience.

So I know you're asking yourself "what does this have to do with anything?" Possibly nothing and possibly everything. Like many writers I write and I worry that what I write isn't good enough. I plot and I worry that the plots won't make sense to the reader - that they won't "get it". I think about the query process and I get knots in my stomach because I know that the process will bring with it tons of rejection.

But really, does any of that matter? I mean, sure, it would be great if every agent, reader and critic totally loved everything I write but ultimately the stories are mine. Taking constructive criticism is a necessary part of the writing process but pleasing everyone along the path is not. I totally need to remember that sometimes? A girl needs to end up with her Duckie no matter what the test audiences think!