And Now a Quick Recap...

Mood: Tired? Stressed? Cranky? (can't quite decide today which, I assure you, has made life very interesting for my long suffering husband).

What I'm watching: Alf (still freaking hilarious everytime he tries to eat the cat!)

Since I've been MIA again, a quick recap of my last few weeks:

1.) As we have already established, Scott and I are the poster children for travelers annonymous. We've also established that we're learning impaired because we keep trying. A couple of weekends ago (after an invigorating round of undeserved family drama...from my side of the family), my lovely husband arranged for a relaxing weekend away. In a lovely hotel. That was hosting the participants of a local dog show...along with their 5 million barking dogs. Did I mention my allergies? Yep. And, we were on the ground floor, near the door...Can I adequately describe the joy of having those 5 million barking dogs being left to do their *ahem* business just under our airconditioning unit? No. No I don't think I can properly describe the aromatic enjoyment that comes from having that particular brand of air freshener sucked in and circulated around our hotel room. People? There are some things that even industrial Febreeze cannot cover up. I'm just saying... Oh, and do I even need to mention that the fire alarm woke us up at 7:00 am? Yes, this has happened to us before. At a different hotel. We have obviously seriously pissed off the travel gods.

2.) Family drama level has reached DEFCON 5 billion and 2 over the last few weeks. Am supremely grateful for my wonderful, loving husband who keeps me from embarking on on some ill-fated, badly conceived plan involving a belltower and firearms.

3.) I have discovered that I'm a basically lazy, self-indulgent creature. Now, before those of you who know me respond with the totally called for "duh", let me just explain what preceeded this particular epiphany. I remember with fond nostalgia the hot summer days of my youth when I would enter a grocery store, a restaurant, or other establishment to be met with an artic blast of cold air that would cause my glasses to fog and goosepimples to form on my arms and legs. It was like walking from the heart of the sun into a cool, refreshing meat freezer and I loved every tooth chattering minute of it.

However, recently I've noticed a decided lack of arctic like temperatures as I've entered retail establishments. In fact, for the first few weeks of warm weather, I thought I was having hot flashes every time I entered a store and would constantly ask "is it hot in here, or is it just me?" Turns out that it's not just me. It's a combination of stores trying to appear environmentally friendly (sort of) and saving money on utility bills (ding, ding, ding...we have a winner here!). As much as I love the environment and saving money, I have to say that I get so incredibly cranky when I'm uncomfortable that I really do become a menace to society. So, honestly? It would be in everyone's best interest to either A. grab the jaws of life, loosen the wallet and turn down the air, OR B. Stay the heck out of my way because if I'm having a lack of air conditioning induced hot flash in the middle of a store things could get really ugly. Fair warning.

4.) I love my husband. A lot. I spent all day at a kite festival with him. He loves kites. I love him. Therefore I allowed him to live...even after 5 hours in the sun watching what, for me, amounts to the thrill of watching paint dry. Did I mention the sunburn?

5.) Speaking of paint...since I've worked at the church I've discovered that I have a severe allergic reaction to a particular type of paint. How did I discover this? It's the paint that they insist on using every.single.time. Days of burning eyes (ever pour bleach in your eye? neither have I but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what it feels like), itching skin (I also now know how a dog with fleas feels), and burning lungs can really take their toll. Also? Paint fumes do not disappear overnight. Let the misery continue!

So, there you have it. The highlights of my life this month.

Random Blog Thoughts

Mood: Tired (It's Monday, blah)

What I'm listening to: Don't Stop Believing (Excuse me while I take a mini-mental trip back into a Junior High Dance in the mid-80's).

So, since my life has been a pile of random thoughts over the last few days...

1. Why is it that (at least in Sparky's family) the amount of drama and discord at a family dinner is likely to go up in direct proportion to the amount of time and money spent preparing the meal? Mac and cheese? Minor squabbles. A 12 lb crown roast with all the trimmings? Complete family implosion.

2. If you've been eating healthy for months and then decide that you're going to treat yourself to McDonald's (because the family implosion killed your appetite for the crown roast), be prepared for a full scale gastrointestinal revolt. My stomach is only talking to me in short, angry bursts.

3. When you've dealt with the stress and anxiety of a complete family implosion and ingested the McDonald's, you will invariably end up on the sofa, curled up in a ball all day, alternating between worry that you are A. Dying of some rare liver/stomach ailment, B. suffering from some rare tropical disease that you probably picked up from the tropical fish at Wal-mart, or C. in the final stages of worst form of food poisoning (and mentally trying to remember if you've consumed any food containing peanut butter over the last few days).

4. There is a difference between 7-Up and Sprite. I understand that there are those of us on both sides of the sick-tummy soda debate. I, myself, am a firm 7-up gal. So why then did Sparky make a special trip out just to bring me back an 8 pack of Sprite??

5. My sick blanket (a pink and blue monstrosity that my mother crocheted for me when I was a teenager) really does have magical healing powers and I must have it to cover up with when I'm sick.

6. How can it be that I pay an obscene amount for cable, have something like a million channels and yet can't find one single thing worth watching? And why do I keep paying an obscene amount for a million channels when there's never anything on worth watching? It's the great mystery of life.

7. Groundhog Day. Although I'm inclined to think that taking our weather cues from a furry little critter is probably about as reliable as taking them from any random meterologist, does it really count as 'having seen his shadow' if you yank the poor little thing out of his peaceful slumber, set hold him up so he can be blinded by camera flashes and then see if he runs back underground? Wouldn't you?

Don't be surprised if next Feb. 2 the groundhog comes up toting an AK-47. I'm just saying.