And Now a Quick Recap...

Mood: Tired? Stressed? Cranky? (can't quite decide today which, I assure you, has made life very interesting for my long suffering husband).

What I'm watching: Alf (still freaking hilarious everytime he tries to eat the cat!)

Since I've been MIA again, a quick recap of my last few weeks:

1.) As we have already established, Scott and I are the poster children for travelers annonymous. We've also established that we're learning impaired because we keep trying. A couple of weekends ago (after an invigorating round of undeserved family drama...from my side of the family), my lovely husband arranged for a relaxing weekend away. In a lovely hotel. That was hosting the participants of a local dog show...along with their 5 million barking dogs. Did I mention my allergies? Yep. And, we were on the ground floor, near the door...Can I adequately describe the joy of having those 5 million barking dogs being left to do their *ahem* business just under our airconditioning unit? No. No I don't think I can properly describe the aromatic enjoyment that comes from having that particular brand of air freshener sucked in and circulated around our hotel room. People? There are some things that even industrial Febreeze cannot cover up. I'm just saying... Oh, and do I even need to mention that the fire alarm woke us up at 7:00 am? Yes, this has happened to us before. At a different hotel. We have obviously seriously pissed off the travel gods.

2.) Family drama level has reached DEFCON 5 billion and 2 over the last few weeks. Am supremely grateful for my wonderful, loving husband who keeps me from embarking on on some ill-fated, badly conceived plan involving a belltower and firearms.

3.) I have discovered that I'm a basically lazy, self-indulgent creature. Now, before those of you who know me respond with the totally called for "duh", let me just explain what preceeded this particular epiphany. I remember with fond nostalgia the hot summer days of my youth when I would enter a grocery store, a restaurant, or other establishment to be met with an artic blast of cold air that would cause my glasses to fog and goosepimples to form on my arms and legs. It was like walking from the heart of the sun into a cool, refreshing meat freezer and I loved every tooth chattering minute of it.

However, recently I've noticed a decided lack of arctic like temperatures as I've entered retail establishments. In fact, for the first few weeks of warm weather, I thought I was having hot flashes every time I entered a store and would constantly ask "is it hot in here, or is it just me?" Turns out that it's not just me. It's a combination of stores trying to appear environmentally friendly (sort of) and saving money on utility bills (ding, ding, ding...we have a winner here!). As much as I love the environment and saving money, I have to say that I get so incredibly cranky when I'm uncomfortable that I really do become a menace to society. So, honestly? It would be in everyone's best interest to either A. grab the jaws of life, loosen the wallet and turn down the air, OR B. Stay the heck out of my way because if I'm having a lack of air conditioning induced hot flash in the middle of a store things could get really ugly. Fair warning.

4.) I love my husband. A lot. I spent all day at a kite festival with him. He loves kites. I love him. Therefore I allowed him to live...even after 5 hours in the sun watching what, for me, amounts to the thrill of watching paint dry. Did I mention the sunburn?

5.) Speaking of paint...since I've worked at the church I've discovered that I have a severe allergic reaction to a particular type of paint. How did I discover this? It's the paint that they insist on using every.single.time. Days of burning eyes (ever pour bleach in your eye? neither have I but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what it feels like), itching skin (I also now know how a dog with fleas feels), and burning lungs can really take their toll. Also? Paint fumes do not disappear overnight. Let the misery continue!

So, there you have it. The highlights of my life this month.

Every Woman Needs a Tiara!

Mood: Sleepy (It's nearly midnight...waaaaaayyyyy past my bedtime!)

What I'm watching: Reba (She totally cracks me up and Barbara Jean? Funniest husband stealer/best friend/neighbor. Ever.)

Today is Friday and the official end of Administrative Assistant's week. In honor of my newly minted title, my contributions to the efficient running of the office were celebrated in grand style. There was a surprise luncheon complete with cake and ice cream (YUM!) and I finally got my official Administrative Assistant Tiara! It's sparkly, pretty and makes me feel special...not in the "don't eat the paste" way that I usually feel!

I find myself holding my head high as I make my way to the copier, attempting to keep perfect posture as I wrestle a paper jam from the printer and giving the royal wave as I chase people down to give them their messages. It made me feel so much better at work that I thought I'd try it at home. Dishes? Totally more fun when you're wearing a crown. Cleaning the toilet? Much better when you catch site of yourself sporting a sparkly crystal crown in the bathroom mirror.

So, get yourself out and buy yourself a tiara, declare yourself queen of the office, the bathroom, the kitchen or the whole universe and give the neighbors a royal wave as you haul the trash out the curb. Sure, they may question your sanity but eccentricity is the exclusive right of the rich and the royal so embrace your quirky side and carry your tiara with pride!!

What's In a Name (or a title)?

Mood: Blah (yes, that is indeed a mood. It's Monday morning, it's raining cats and dogs and I have to be at work...blah pretty much covers it).

What I'm Listening To: "And She Was" (I'm, like, totally in an 80's mood thanks to the neverending stream of 80's nostalgia going on over at Jennsylvania).

At the end of last week my boss came to me with a very serious question indeed. He wanted to know if I was offended by the use of the title "Secretary". Hmmm...interesting question. Honestly? I hadn't ever given it much thought at all. Certainly my job description has expanded beyond anything that could remotely be called simply 'secretarial'; however, I've never been hung up on all the "PC" crap. Call me the secretary, the office bitch, the chief cook and bottle washer...whatever. The job is the job and if no one is willing to give me a throne (besides the porcelain variety) and crown me (with a very pretty tiara) the queen of the universe, then it really doesn't matter what you call me, does it?

See, that's where I would be wrong. My boss, not wanting to diminish my contributions to the efficient running of, well, everything around here, decided I needed a title change. So, from last Friday forward, I am officially an Administrative Assistant. Despite my pouting, the position comes with neither a tiara nor a throne but I did get to order my own super cool new Admin. Assistant name plate, change the website and publications to reflect my new status and, in a very somber ceremony, my boss used a plastic knife (that we'd used to cut fudge that some thoughtful angel had left on my desk) to officially 'knight' me as the Administrative Assistant.

I work in a very weird and wonderful world.