Epic Blogger Type Contest

Status: Tired (is 10:00 pm too late for a nap?)

On tv: The Simpsons (Classic!)

Guess what's going on in the interwebs? Go on, guess. Give up????

Alright then, I'll just tell you. In honor of reaching 300 bloggie type stalker people Carol over at Carol's Prints is hosting an epically epic contest. Seriously. You can even dance for more chances to win. That's right. I said dance. On the interwebs. For prizes. Kind of like Dancing With the Stars only without the stars part. The prizes are totally incredible so it might be worth the public humiliation to up your chances to win. For someone else I mean. Not necessarily me. No one needs to see me dance.

*Ahem* Anyway you should totally head over to Carol's blog and enter her contest because even if you don't win, she's a totally awesome blogger, writer and internet friend so it's a win/win!

Jury Duty Again? Really?

Mood: Happy (My brother is home for keeps from the USAF! The best words ever? Honorable Discharge! Well, that and free chocolate.)

What I'm Watching: The Soup (All the celebrity crap I didn't have time to keep up with through the week. What could be better?)

I? Am officially the local government's biotch. For the second time in as many years I've been summoned for jury duty. This time it's for grand jury duty which means I'm on deck for 18 months. That's eight.teen months! Luckily we only meet when necessary so hopefully it won't be an every week thing but knowing my luck every single felon in the entire county will choose this as the perfect time to commit a crime.

On the plus side, I'm getting a good look at how the court systems around here work so if I ever decide to branch out and write a book about a fat, 30 something year old woman who totally loses her mind after being called up for jury duty one too many times...well, I'm totally covered.

Enter The Duck-Man

Mood: Happy (I've had a great weekend w/ the hubs enjoying the nice spring weather!)

What I'm Watching: Kirstie Alley's Big Life (Seriously? I think I need a reality TV intervention but watching Kirstie Alley getting a Twitter intervention is just too funny!)

If you were a pre-teen/teen in the 80's then there's little doubt that you were well aquainted with phenomenon that was the John Hughes teenage movie. The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off - they're all absolutely amazing and if you were born after the 80's and haven't yet seen them, you should run right out to your local video store and rent them. If you were a teen in the 80's and you haven't seen them? What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Anyway, while they're all great, what's been sticking in the back of my mind for the last few days is the Mollie Ringwald/Jon Cryer classic "Pretty In Pink".

For those of you heathens who are unfamiliar with the magical genius that is "Pretty In Pink", the movie is a basic love triangle (but with a kick ass 80's sound track and hello? Jon Cryer). Mollie Ringwald plays Andie - a poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who is constantly accompanied (and semi-stalked) by her friend Duckie (played brilliantly by Jon Cryer) who is totally and utterly in love with her. Then, of course, what teenage drama would be complete withouat the totally cool, completely awesome, popular and rich guy - in this case we have Blane (played by Andrew McCarthy).

At the end of the movie, Andie ends up with Blane. Blane. Yes, I know I totally just gave away the ending of the movie - too damn bad, you've had over 20 years to watch it!

Ahem, anyway, Andie ends up with Blane but every woman I know, knows that she totally should have ended up with Duckie. Duckie might not have been as rich or classically handsome as Blane but the  Duck Man was totally there for her no matter what. He was even gracious in defeat - if being with Blane was going to make Andie happy? Duckie was totally willing to step aside and let her be happy with Blane.

*Sigh* How romantic right? So how could she not have ended up with Duckie? The truth is that, orginally, Andie did end up with Duckie but that ending didn't play well in front of test audiences. They wanted Andie to end up with Blane so the ending was changed because it was thought it would "play better" for the film audience.

So I know you're asking yourself "what does this have to do with anything?" Possibly nothing and possibly everything. Like many writers I write and I worry that what I write isn't good enough. I plot and I worry that the plots won't make sense to the reader - that they won't "get it". I think about the query process and I get knots in my stomach because I know that the process will bring with it tons of rejection.

But really, does any of that matter? I mean, sure, it would be great if every agent, reader and critic totally loved everything I write but ultimately the stories are mine. Taking constructive criticism is a necessary part of the writing process but pleasing everyone along the path is not. I totally need to remember that sometimes? A girl needs to end up with her Duckie no matter what the test audiences think!

Finding Your Fun and Embracing Your Awesome!

Mood: Meh (It's been a long week...a very long week, but this weekend is a three day holiday weekend so things are looking up.)

What I'm Watchin?g: It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown (Seriously, what a classic and Woodstock? Totally has a happening pad!)

When I was a little kid with lopsided  ponytails and really bad 70's polyester clothing I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be the gas station attendant who checked the oil, pumped the gas and, best of all, washed the windows with the super cool squeegee. Why? Because it just looked like fun. The guy was always smiling, always whistling and, besides, hello? The squeegee!

I never considered whether I would make enough money to support myself, whether people would look down on me for working at a gas station, whether I'd look good in that blue and white striped shirt with my name embroidered on it or whether it was a job that I would be good at...I wanted to do it because it looked like it would be fun. 

Writing started out in much the same way. It was a fun and creative way to entertain myself. I wrote fantastically horrible stories that I was just sure were pure literary genius and I was happy. At some point, though, I allowed some of the fun to be sucked out of the writing experience.  I allowed people to tell me that I shouldn't or couldn't write - that it was silly and a waste of time. I allowed myself to internalize those messages and began to doubt everything about my writing. Eventually I decided it would be easier if I just kept my writing to myself.

I was so scared someone would find out about my shameful secret that I even hid it from the hubs. When he moved in with me I actually threw out several notebooks filled with years worth of notes, story starters, ideas, etc. because I was so afraid that he'd find it and think that I was stupid or silly or whatever other horrible thing that I was afraid of. Yes, I realize now just how stupid that was (stupid, stupid, stupid)* because, the hubs is incredibly supportive and he nearly cried when I confessed that I'd tossed out so much of my work because I didn't want him to think I was stupid for wanting to write.

Now, I'm working on rediscovering the 'fun' in my writing and trying to learn to embrace my inner awesome. After all, writers are completely awesome people - we get to create and manipulate worlds using nothing more than our imaginations and simple words - what could be cooler than that? Want to learn more about your inner awesome? Check out Tawna Fenske's blog post about it. Really. Do it. Now!

So while I may not have a squeegee or a shirt with my name on it, I've got a totally cool laptop and my livescribe pen? Is just made of awesome!

What about you? Have you found your fun and embraced your inner awesome?

*slapping self on forehead kind of stupid

My Laptop, Myself..

Mood: Frustrated (this has been a very long weekend)

What I'm Watching: The Simpsons (Homer in the Holy Land? Classic)

This? Is my computer. Well, not my computer but one exactly like mine. She's purple with pretty flowers and very girlie. She's the first new laptop that I've ever had and she's all mine! I seriously love my laptop and, as a writer, I depend on her to do my job. I need her.

So I was understandably upset when she started freezing and locking up on Friday night. I tried all the standard stuff...checking for viruses and spyware but nothing seemed to appease her.

Luckily the hubs is a computer technician so he did some exploratory surgery on her and discovered that there was a lack of proper heat grease stuff (technical term) on her processor and this was causing her to have some wicked hot flashes which would cause her to overheat and lock up.

So, we cracked her open and did some more intensive surgery to replace the heat grease stuff. Just in case you were wondering? It looked something like this:

After surgery the overheating issues were resolved but there were some long lasting issues with her operating system. After all the trauma she'd endured many of her files had become corrupt and her operating system was no longer fully functional.

We had no other option but to pull the plug and start over. I had to wipe her hard drive, reinstall windows and all of her software. Which left me looking a lot like this (only fatter) for the entire weekend:

After hours of stress, worry and just plain old frustration, my pretty purple computer is happily recovered from her traumatic experience and I? Am about a pint of Hagan Daaz Butter Pecan ice cream away from being sufficiently drugged with enough fat and sugar to not care about my wasted weekend.

Randomness on a Wednesday

Mood: Relieved (had to go to the doctor earlier and I have major white coat syndrome...which basically mean that I'm a big old chicken who is terrified of doctors)

What I'm Watching: Mythbusters (turns out that my mom was right. Duct tape really can be used to fix just about anything)

I've been a major blog slacker lately so I thought I'd just do a quick catch up with some random bloggy type thoughts

• The healthcare bill. Sigh. Love it. Hate it. Whatever. But let's stop calling names and acting like it's either the best thing since sliced bread or the end of the world as we know it. Congressmen and women? I'm totally looking at you here too. You set the tone for the country and if you act like a bunch of petulant children how can you expect the nation as a whole to work together? Seriously considering sending my mother to Washington to put them all in time out until they get their act together!

• Vice President Biden dropped the *f-bomb* The big one. The F--- word. It's probably wrong that I giggled when he did it but it kind of reminded me of the time I caught my very demure, very proper grandmother flashing the finger at someone who cut me off when I was driving her to her doctor appointment. Besides, tell me that it didn't remind you of this moment:

                       

• I discovered that I'm not only sensitive to aspertame but also to splenda. Is it so difficult to develop an artificial sweetener that is calorie free, tastes like sugar and that doesn't make me feel like there's a gremlin trying to claw its way out of my stomach? I didn't think so. Seriously. Get to work food type scientists!

• People find my blog by searching the most bizarre things..."Red Lobster Staff", "Olympic sized" and "I'm looking for a filled out conference form" are a few of my favorites. My blog is obviously a bit too random.

•  I suspect that my 7 year old nephew may watch a little too much Food Network as evidenced by his recent request "I'd like some red wine with a side of couscous, please."

• I had another random point here...really I did. I've thought of it no less than four times but each time I've managed to forget it as soon as it popped into my head. So, obviously a final thought would be that my medication severely interferes with my short term memory function.

Writer's Block? Heck Yeah!

Mood: Worn Out (this week has easily lasted a month at least)

What I'm Watching: The World's Dumbest Partiers (This is totally made of win!)

There are some writers who will tell you that writer's block doesn't exist...that it's a myth like the LochNess Monster or Brittney Spears grip on reality. Please be aware that these people are liars...as in the 'pants on fire' variety (please keep the fire extinguishers handy).

If you are a writer, there will almost certainly come a moment in your career when you find yourself staring at the flashing cursor with no idea what to write next. This? Is writer's block. It may only last 10 minutes but for those ten minutes you were unsure. You didn't know what was going to come next. You were blocked.

Personally, my writer's block develops in stages:

Stage 1: Slightly annoyed but not yet worried. Maybe I'll check my e-mail, play a few (hundred) games of solitaire on Facebook, catch up with my blogging and hang out on Twitter for a while. Certainly my writerly mo-jo will return quickly enough...I just need a break.

*Luckily, most writer's block is resolved in stage 1*

Stage 2: Frustrated but determined. After wasting three hours goofing off on the internet  spending some much needed time away from my work in progress, I return only to find that the creative side of my brain is still on strike. Of course, I probably just need to shake things up a bit. Maybe take a small nap to recharge my batteries or get up and move around a bit to stir the creative juices stop self from pulling hair out as frustration mounts. 

*The good news? I tend to catch up on a lot of neglected housework during stage 2. This is also a good time to give yourself a manicure.* 

Stage 3: Pure frustration. This is the point when I start cursing at the stupid flashing little cursor. Smug little bastard. I get seriously cranky as I attempt to drag anything even remotely resembling a good idea from the recesses of my brain.

*This is the time when I start to doubt my ability to even write my own name and begin to think I should have taken up something less frustrating...like hostage negotiation.*

Stage 4: Complete and utter desperation. This stage brings with it tons of self pity with a generous helping of whining and just general pissyness on my part. At this point I start self-medicating with copious amounts of chocolate and start to understand why so many writers ended up either crazy or alcoholic.

*Successfully navigating this stage usually involves gaining a few pounds (dark chocolate may be good for you but it's not calorie free) and the ability to survive a few minor mental breakdowns*

Stage 5: Complete meltdown. Thankfully, I've never made it to this stage in the writer's block process although I've found myself dangerously close a time or two. This is the point where complete and utter destruction is the only way to fully express the true level of frustration experienced by a writer when the words just won't come.

*This? Might be why I'm so opposed to firearms in our home.*


Those who say that writer's block doesn't exist tend to advise that you should just sit and write. No.matter.what. I say "baloney"! Sitting in the chair, staring at an empty screen for hours on end or writing crap just to be writing is going to drive me directly to stage 5 no matter how much chocolate I have on hand. For me, it's better that I step back and take some time to let the story brew a bit before diving back in. It minimizes my frustration and keeps me from doing permanent damage to my beloved laptop (she's purple with flowers...I really don't want to hurt her).