The Good, The Bad, and The Super Cute!

Mood: Sleepy but accomplished (Way past my bedtime but managed to balance the checkbook and pay the bills, so I'm calling it a win!)

What I'm Watching: College Cheerleading Championships (Guess I'm a glutton for punishment because I can't think of a better way to completely destroy my self esteem than by watching a bunch of perfectly toned, tanned, tiny, athletic women half my age flying through the air in perfect synchronization).

Because it's so super late this is just going to be a mini-blog.

First, the good.

My latest obsessions?
1. Make it or Break it. I LOVE this new show on ABC Family. Gymnastics, drama, what's not to love?
2. McDonald's sweet tea. Yummy.
3. Watermelon. It's finally in season and affordable...YUMMY!!!

Now, the bad.

My latest annoyances?
1. Stupid people (okay, this is both ongoing and a given but it still makes the top of the list)
2. People who "borrow" (read: steal) the office supplies off of my desk. People? I NEED those supplies to effectively do my job, that's why they're on/in my desk. If you need a tape dispenser, a stapler, highlighter, etc. Go.Get.Your.Own. Or, at least have the decency to return mine when you're finished. (Also? the person who took my 'to do' list a few months ago? You're still on my list!).
3. Running to answer the phone at work only to hear a "click" and dial tone on the other end.
4. People who take their personal angst out on me. I don't care if you have PMS, got up on the wrong side of the bed or are just in a pissy mood. It's not my fault nor is it my problem so don't take your issues out on me!
5. Blogger...I've tried to post this blog entry for the last half hour. It has frozen up, refused to upload pictures without the use of some four letter words on my part and then will not allow me to use my new, super cool signature. Blogger...you are officially ON.MY.LIST!

Finally, the super cute. My little niece. I can neither confirm nor deny that Auntie Rhonda was an instigator in the completely inappropriate sticking out of the tongue captured in this photograph!




If that little face doesn't make you smile, there's no hope for you at all.

So, This Whole Hell Thing...How Bad Can it Be Really?

Mood: Stressed & Cranky (long crappy week at work continues)

What I'm watching: King of the Hill (I totally need something to make me laugh!)

Tonight my loving husband and I had a conversation that reminded me of exactly why I will be spending eternity in a rather tropical environment.

Me: Stupid people at McDonalds gave me a bacon ranch burger. Look, it's even marked 'deluxe' but it's a bacon ranch burger. I HATE bacon.

Scott: I know you do, I'll go take it back and get the right burger.

*I would like some brownie points for telling Scott to eat his burger while it was still hot and that he could go back to McDs when he was finished*

As he's on his way out the door, I remind him sternly to tell them that I'm NOT.HAPPY re: getting the wrong sandwich.

When he gets home I ask him if he was sure to tell them how inconvenient the mistake was and how angry and frustrated his wife was.

Scott: No, I didn't. But I got you a new burger.

Me: Why didn't you properly express my fury?

Scott: I couldn't. The guy behind the counter was crippled. I couldn't yell at him.

Me: You wuss!

Yep. That's me being all sensitive and stuff. So, if you happen to be at my funeral please throw some SPF 75 in the casket with me...I have a feeling I'm going to be needing it.

Also? I've posted before about our craptastic neighbors and their ever changing round of, well, crap that shows up in the hallway at random times. So, because I'm feeling cranky and annoyed today, I thought I'd take a few pictures of the crapapolooza that is our hallway and post them here so everyone could have a sense of the gauntlet I have to run every time I leave our humble abode.

A view of the hallway outside our door. The mattress is a fairly new addition to the garage sale chic look of our hallway.

Notice the new addition of the bag of trash. Yes, it smells as bad as it looks. And their kitchen table? That's been out there for days.

An overall impression. The cutesy little country wooden seat with the heart? I guess that's supposed to class up the look of the hallway!

Sigh. Really? I'd like to know how they move all that crap out of their apartment because they're both disabled and can barely walk. I'd go over there and tell them to move their junk but I think I've probably tempted fate enough for one day.

Love and Marriage...and Other Scary Stuff.

Mood: Cranky (It's been a LONG rough day)

What I'm Watching: Make It or Break It (Weeee...a show about gymnastics, teens and drama!)

My husband? Works in a town 35 miles away. His wallet? At home. His gas tank? On empty. Me? driving an hour roundtrip to take him his wallet. Also? In an almost herculean effort, I managed not to hurt him...not even a tiny bop upside the head.

Truthfully, this is one of the little wonders of married life that they don't tell you about. When you think about being married, it's all flowers and hearts and stars. It's romance and wistful sighs as you think about spending forever together.

Then reality sets in. No one ever mentions the "other" side of marriage. The morning breath, toenail clipping, back zit popping, "can you look at this weird patch of skin on my butt" side of married life. There's something to be said for that type of closeness but really? Sometimes it's a bit much.

So, in the interest of keeping a peaceful and loving home, I'd like to present the following household husband rules:

1.) The garbage can is a container. As we use it everyday, it will eventually become full. When it gets full, it does not suddenly undergo a metamorphasis and become a garbage shelf on which you are meant to stack all the garbage you can, in the style of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

2.) Everyone has bodily functions and no one is particularly interested in or amused by yours. You are not unique nor is your ability to express yourself through your various bodily emissions some sort of talent that will eventually land you a million dollar endorsement deal so please, keep them to yourself.

3.) Likewise, no one is particularly interested in how bad the odor is in the bathroom after you've used it. If you've been in there for a half hour, I can figure it out for myself...announcements are unecessary.

4.) If I've asked you to clear your computer desk for three weeks and you've failed to do so, don't be surprised when I do it myself. Just remember that the priceless information that you have encoded in illegible chicken scratches on random sheets of paper really looks like completely useless rubbish to me and will most likely find it's way into the garbage bin.

5.) Do not slurp...anything. This includes, but is not limited to: soda, milk, soup, ice-cream, and cereal.

6.) Items in our home do not generally float around in midair at eye level. Therefore, if you are looking for something, you will have to move things, open doors and drawers before locating the item. Please make sure that you follow the above instructions before coming to your wife and whining "I can't find (fill in the random lost item)".

7.)Cleaning the kitchen means doing more than just the dishes. The stove is not white with brown speckles, it's white, clean the speckles off of the stove. The table and counters need to be cleared, and by cleared I do not mean putting the stuff into the junk relocation program. Just moving it from the kitchen table to the coffee table in the livingroom is not technically cleaning. The stuff has a home, find it and put it there...our junk is happier when it's in it's home.

8.) If you are sick, take some medicine. If you refuse to take any medication, then I will assume that you enjoy being sick and will provide no sympathy or pampering...so stop whining!

Following these simple rules will ensure that you do not end up getting bopped upside the head...even when you have to call your wife and have her drive an hour round trip to drop off your wallet.

Just When You Thought It was Safe...

Mood: Satisfied? (Even though the day was wicked hot so we were stuck inside with the air conditioning, I managed to get quite a bit done on my writing so I'm calling it a win!)

What I'm Watching: Will You Kill For Me? An Account of the Manson Murders (Seriously, how screwed up is this guy and the people who followed him?)

This weekend has been a bit of a bust. The weather has been so hot and humid that we were pretty much housebound the whole weekend. Blah. We had been hoping to go camping but camping in a tent when the heat index tops out at 105° isn't our idea of a good time. So, we've been riding the sofa, watching tv and spending way too much time on the internet.

What I've discovered is that there is a great deal of 'true crime' tv on during the weekend, especially on Sunday. Seriously? Do they think people want to come home from church and watch 6 hours of television dedicated to the dissecting the most heinous crimes to ever be committed? Good. Because I'd hate to think I'm the only one so completely and utterly fascinated by the workings of the human psyche, particularly the criminal mind.

So, since it was 40 years ago this weekend that The Manson Family went on a bloody murderous rampage that left 7 people dead, a lot of the true crime programming has focused on the infamous Manson Family. After watching so many interviews, listening to the witnesses and the family members themselves, I'm still left wondering just what it is that makes someone get to the point where they say "you want me to go into that house and stab everyone? Okay, that sounds like a good idea?" Because personally? I'd like to think I'd say (in my best Gary Coleman imitation) "What the hell you talking about Charlie?!?"

Oh, and FYI? They're letting family member and one of Charles Manson's most ardent supporters, Squeaky Fromme, out on parole this week. I'm not sure all the crazy has been purged from this one so I think I'll be sleeping with one eye open for a while just in case...

My (almost real) Tattoo

Mood: Forgetful (because I promised a while ago to post this picture)

What I'm Watching: Lockup: San Quentin (Wondering why on earth people become criminals...prison definitely doesn't look like fun to me)

So, I posted a couple of posts down about our adventures at the county fair, including my cool, albeit temporary, tattoo. I also promised to post a picture and then promptly forgot. So, here it is, the closest I will ever come to having an actual tattoo.




















It's a four leafed clover which has done me absolutely no good since I've since bought two lottery tickets that haven't won me a single penny. Also? This completely showcases how dry my legs are. Must remember to moisturize!!!

It's All Greek To Me!

Mood: Confused (lots of decisions to make, lots of frustration with the writing, lots of internal angst)

What I'm Watching: TMZ (I admit it, I'm hooked on celebrity gossip. Must.have.it!)

Dear Blogger: Why, oh why must you mock my lack of multi-lingual skills? Everytime I try to scroll through blogs, you always bring up those posted in a foreign language. After three years of high school Spanish, I can only manage to order a Coca-cola, ask for the bathroom and say my name. That's it. What makes you think I can read an entire blog written in Chinese or French? Language options? Would be nice and less frustrating for those of us who don't enjoy having our intellectual shortcomings pointed out to us.

Sincerely,

A Blogger who has enough trouble with the English language

Weekend Fun!

Mood: Happy (Scott and I have had a great weekend!)

What I'm watching: Kendra (I know, trashy reality tv, but really? It's the essence of who I am. LOL).

Scott and I woke up on Saturday morning without the foggiest idea what we were going to do this weekend. We had no plans, no ideas, nothing. Oh, we had to do the usual...laundry, shopping, etc. but other than that we were wide open. Now, usually this means that we will either A: spend the weekend sitting on the sofa doing nothing but veggitating in front of tv/computer screens or B: spend the weekend alternating saying "What do you want to do?" / "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Only to settle on doing something like wandering through the local woods for an hour before deciding we're too hot, old and out of shape to do much more than drag our tired selves back to the sofa to commence the tv/computer watching.

However, this weekend was different. We ran our errands and then decided to have a real date night, complete with dressing up, the wearing of make-up (me) and the shaving of the wildebeast beard (Scott).

After dinner we decided to check out the county fair...it seemed like appropriate date night material (well, maybe for teenagers but still).

Things I did/saw at the fair:

1. I petted a baby pig - so soft and cuddly, really, they were cute.

2. I petted baby bunnies - awww...I so want one.

3. I petted baby chicks - felt kinda bad since I'd had eggs for breakfast and I secretly wondered if it was one of their relatives. I think they knew and they were running away from me. :(

4. Saw monkey's riding dogs in a race. Seriously. Who knew this type of stuff existed?

5. Saw a guy wrestling an alligator. When does that ever happen in central illinois?

6. Rode the Tilt-a-Whirl. I haven't ridden one of those in years. Turns out I still LOVE being swung around in circles. I just couldn't stop giggling. Scott? Not so much! LOL.

7. Got a temporary spray on tattoo. I indulged Scott because he really wants me to get a real one and, honestly? Not going to happen.

How many cameras do we have? 2. One digital, one video.

How many pictures do we have of these amazingly interesting and fun experiences at the fair? None.

Why? Because we didn't take our camera. Sigh. Also? I've been down this road enough times to know that if we'd had our camera with us there wouldn't have been a single, solitary thing worth photographing within a 500 mile radius.

I did manage to get a shot of my tattoo when we got home...have to post a pic of that later. :)