Snarktastic Ramblings

In Which I Welcome You to the Next Stop on the TATTERED Blog Tour!

2011-12-07T06:00:00.000-06:00

Mood: Excited (It's not every day a girl gets to host a stop on the awesome tour of awesome!)

LK: First of all, I'd like to thank Rhonda Cowsert for hosting the Tattered tour.

For today's prize of a paperback copy of Misfit McCabe along with with The Hammer by K. J. Parker AND an ARC of Tattered, simply comment on this post.
To get a free ebook copy of Misfit McCabe:

Put together the puzzle and write down the code. Each day will give another part of the coupon code. Please note at the top whether it is for eBook or Print.
Once you have collected the entire code, go to Smashwords and purchase Misfit McCabe input the code and download whichever ebook version you need for free.

To get 50% off the print version of Misfit McCabe:

Put together the puzzle and write down the code. Each day will give another part of the coupon code. Please note at the top whether it is for eBook or Print.
Once you have collected the entire code, go to Griffie World Store and purchase Misfit McCabe input the code and receive 50% off the purchase price.

To win the KINDLE FIRE

Support this tour by commenting on each of the daily stops -- It's only 11 days, not even as long as the 12 days of Christmas.
And since Rhonda was nice enough to help me promote my new book, please don't forget to subscribe to to her blog and follow her on Twitter - @rcowsert

Tattered is the third novel in the heartwarming young adult series, Misfit McCabe. A little about the book:

What do Sunday afternoon court proceedings, cheerleader tryouts, and a book burning have in common? Katie McCabe is back in action.

After her nemesis Harvey is found guilty and sentenced to community service, Katie wants to believe her troubles are over, but Harvey won’t rest until he gets revenge. When blackmail rears its ugly head, she’s caught between friends and enemies putting her growing relationship with Tom at stake. Books go up in flames and Katie’s world rains down in tatters.

Rhonda is someone... you guessed it... I met on Twitter. I first noticed her when she'd end up in conversations with mutual friends, and I enjoyed her sense of humor in the snippets I saw. Then we bonded over our love of the show Designing Women, in particular the character of Suzanne Sugarbaker, and her pig, Noel. After that, there was no looking back, and you can't find a better supporter for cheering you on in the writing process. She's always willing to whip out the pom poms, or don the tiara. Now I'll turn things over to Katie McCabe, the fourteen-year-old main character of Tattered.

Katie: Hi Rhonda! Thanks for having me today. Although, today I have to talk about *gag* Harvey.

Harvey Denton, Jr. is a despicable toad. He is so awful that most of the words I'd use to describe him, I'm not allowed to say. He's mean, and it shows in everything he does. I'd call him a pig, but that'd be an insult to Noel.

Do you know what he did to me? This just shows what kind of creep he is. When I was brand new in town... it was my first day there, and he was showing me around town -- only because his mother made him, but I didn't know that. Anyway, after he was already insulting to my entire family, we went to Max's, and Harvey asked me what I wanted to eat. I told him I didn't have any money, and he said not to worry about it. I started to feel a bit guilty, like maybe I misjudged him, but then he left me there, not knowing how to get back to where Sarah was waiting for me, and he stuck me with the tab for both of us. I thought I would die when Max told me I had to pay. And THEN, when we walked back in the shop, he lied about everything to Sarah, and told her my new friends did terrible things to me. He's just disgusting. In EVERY possible way.

LK: Put the puzzle below together for part of the code to receive 50% off a paperback of Misfit McCabe. And make sure you visit Katelyn Torrey on tomorrow's stop on the tour. And for all details on the tour, the prizes, and the stops, please visit Griffie World.

If the puzzle does not load correctly, please refresh your browser and it should display correctly.

Monday Must Reads... Chosen by Denise Grover Swank

2011-12-05T10:57:00.001-06:00

Mood: Monday - bleh.

Chosen - By Denise Grover Swank

Everything Emma Thompson owns fits in a suitcase she moves from one roach infested motel to another. She and Jake, her five year old son who can see the future, are running from the men intent on taking him. Emma will do anything to protect him even when it means accepting the help of a stranger named Will. Jake insists she needs Will, but Emma's never needed help before. And even though she's learned to trust her son, it doesn't mean she trusts Will.

Mercenary Will Davenport lives in the moment. Hauling Emma to South Dakota should have been an easy job, but his employer neglected to tell him about Emma's freaky son and the gunmen hot on her trail. Instinct tells him this job is trouble, but nothing can prepare him for Jake's proclamation that Will is The Chosen One, who must protect Emma from the men hunting her power. A power she doesn't know she has.

Will protects Emma and Jake on a cross-country chase from the men pursuing them, while struggling with memories from his past, his apprehension of Jake, and his growing attraction to Emma. Will's overwhelming urge to protect Emma surprises him, especially since it has nothing to do with his paycheck and possibly everything to do with the tattoo Jake branded on his arm. Rich and powerful men are desperate to capture Emma, and Will must discover why before it's too late.

My Take
Denise Grover Swank has delivered another amazing novel! Chosen is a dark thriller that is a definite departure from her previous release, Twenty Eight and a Half Wishes, and proves that Denise's talent as a writer is not limited to a single genre.

Emma is a woman on the run. Jake is a little boy carrying the weight of a gift that would be too large for most grown men to handle. Mother and son are being hunted by nameless, faceless people who are willing to do anything to get what they want - Jake. Without understanding exactly why they are being hunted or by whom, Emma does the only thing she can to protect her son - she learns to live her life on the run.

They run from one town, one hotel to the next, depending on Jake's ability to see the future to give them enough warning to move on before they're caught. Until they are. Jake insists that they need Will but Emma isn't willing to let her guard down and trust Will completely. Which is probably a very good thing since Will Davenport is not exactly who or what he seems.

At a Glance

1.) Emma is a completely real character. She's a mother who is willing to do anything and sacrifice everything to keep her son safe. She's also a woman who is tired, scared and weary of fighting the battle to keep them alive. Denise manages to brilliantly balance both of these facets of Emma's personality making her a very believable and sympathetic character.

2.) The plot is confusing enough (in an awesome way) to keep everyone - including the main characters - guessing from one moment to the next but expertly woven into a narrative that makes it impossible to put down. I LOVE this.

3.) While there is a definite supernatural element it just simmers in the background adding another brilliant layer to the story.

4.) Will - absolutely swoon worthy as the dark and tortured anti-hero hero of this book. LOVE him - also, might hate him a little.

5.) There is just the perfect amount of humor and snark in Chosen to keep it from being too dark - which is awesome for those of us who like to read well into the night!

Chosen is the first in a series of books about Emma, Will and Jake!

In Other News
Don't forget to check out LK Gardner-Griffie's continuing blog tour of awesome! Today she's over with Christine Fonseca!

The Saturday Six!

2011-12-03T15:11:00.001-06:00

Mood: Content

I missed the Friday five so I'm gonna go for the Saturday six because that's just how I roll!

1.) I find the low carb lifestyle very easy to maintain 99% of the time the other 1% of the time? Falls directly in the month of December - when I am surrounded by all things sugar filled and wonderful. I would like to say that I have committed myself to staying the course through the Christmas season - but that would be a big.fat.lie. Instead I have accepted the fact that I will do my best and probably spend the month gaining and losing the same 10 pounds over and over again.*

2.) It's December 3rd and absolutely beautiful outside. Like, don't need a coat and let's crack the windows open beautiful. One part of me LOVES this - the other part of me is confused by the combined lack of snow and Christmas decorations. **

3.) I'm fairly certain that cinnamon and sugar roasted pecans are proof that God loves us.

4.) I've discovered the internet crack which is called Pinterest. If you haven't checked it out yet, you should totally do it but be aware this is exactly what happens:

5.) I'm not a Coke fan and, since going low carb, I really don't even like soda all that much anymore but did that stop me from buying this?

No it did not. Christmas? Check. Santa? Check. Old fashioned Coke bottles? Check. Do I like soda? Not so much but who cares? MUST HAVE!

6.) Our Christmas Tree!

So there you go - six totally random things for this lazy Saturday. What's the random in your life this weekend?

*Yes, I know I'm weak - but I'm weak with Christmas treats!

**This? Is why I could never move to California.

Tell the Truth Thursday - And Fun Stuff!

2011-12-01T11:54:00.001-06:00

Mood: Festive - it's Christmas time!! *passes around the eggnog and cookies*

It's time once again for Tell the Truth Thursday - so *deep breath* here goes:

1.) Since I've been doing the low carb I've replaced my McDonald's Coke addiction with a slightly more obsessive addiction to the fresh brewed unsweetened iced tea at a local gas station. You know how some people need their coffee to function? Well, I need my tea - and the person who took the last of it yesterday morning? You are on.my.list!

2.) I gained EIGHT pounds over the Thanksgiving holiday (which, to be honest, lasted from Wednesday night until Sunday night - but still). It's not that I ate too much - it's more that I ate too many yummy, delicious, starchy carbs. #omnomnom

3.) Apparently I've begun to think it's appropriate to utilize hash tags everywhere. #tagALLtheTHINGS

4.) I totally sparkly heart everything Christmas. This may make me annoying at this time of year. #noapologies *turns Christmas music up louder*

So there you have it folks, my truths this Thursday - what about yours? Anything you've been keeping locked away?

Before I leave you today -

Filed under amazingly awesome writer stuff:

The awesome and talented (awesomely talented?) LK Gardner-Griffie is sending her latest book baby "Tattered" out into the world and to celebrate the release she's having an "Awesome Blog Tour of Awesome"* Not only will you get the chance to read more about her characters and their stories, you'll get to visit with great bloggie type people AND have the opportunity to win STUFF! And not just any stuff but amazing stuff - like ARCs, e-books and actual books from LK Garnder-Griffie and other great writers!

The first stop of the tour is here at LK's very own blog - so hop on over and join in the fun and celebration! And don't forget to visit the other blogs (including this one) on her tour!

*say it in a really deep echoing voice - now isn't that awesome? (also, please note, this is NOT the official name of the blog tour. I don't even know if it has a name.) (Just kidding. It has a name. Its name is George.)

Where Were You?

2011-09-12T07:59:00.001-05:00

Mood: Reflective

Today is September 12th and, for the most part, life has gone back to normal. I got up this morning, got ready for work, goofed off on Facebook and now? I'm blogging. But yesterday was different - as September 11 must always be different.

The 10th anniversary of the horrific attacks of September 11, 2011 meant that we were absolutely bombarded with the memories, images and devastation that occurred on that fateful day. Almost universally people turn to one another and ask "Where were you?" and "What were you doing?" There's an almost undefinable need to share those stories - as though we have to remember that moment to fully realize that we actually lived that moment.

Where was I? I was in my bathroom, drying my hair and getting ready for work when the hubs (then fiancee) called to tell me something was happening in NYC. He was on his way to work and listening to the radio - he said "turn on CNN a plane crashed into the World Trade Center."

I quickly switched the television on but finding CNN wasn't necessary. The news was on every channel. I watched in horror as the second plane crashed into tower 2.

My world was such a different place on the morning of September 11. I couldn't comprehend what had happened. My brain tried to make sense of the senseless and the only thing it would allow me to believe was that something had gone horribly wrong to allow two such horrific accidents. It wasn't until I got to work and heard the news about the plane hitting the Pentagon that I was fully aware that this was not an accident, but an attack.

In some ways I can't believe I was naive enough to think that, even after the second plane hit, it had to be some sort of bizarre accident - and in many ways I wish I were still that naive.

It makes me sad that my nieces and nephews will never have the luxury of being that naive. Born in a post September 11 world they will always know that there are people out there who are pure evil and they will never be able to look at an event as "just an accident" without first processing through whether or not it was a terrorist attack.

It makes me sad to hear my sister tell of her struggle to explain to the kids what happened that day while still assuring them that they're safe. How do we explain something that we can't even hope to understand ourselves?

Every September 11 we stop, we remember how lucky we are to have what we have and how quickly it can all be ripped away - but for those of us who are lucky enough to wake up on September 12th? We carry forward.

Today is September 12 - and we remember but we go on. I will go to work this morning and I will wish that I was at home because it's Monday and I'm tired. I will complain about our politicians and the state of our economy because I can. I will put terrorist attacks at the back of my mind and I will focus on other, far more trivial things. My world will get back to its "new normal" and that's okay - because that's the only way we can win.

The Friday Five

2011-09-02T15:44:00.002-05:00

Mood: Whiny (I'm sick so I get to whine)
It's Friday!! It's a long weekend!! And I'm sick. So, yeah...

1. Circus Days
On Monday, we went to the circus with my family. It was the first time the bubbies had ever been to the circus and, ranging in ages from 1 to 8, their reactions were varied and absolutely precious. My favorite reaction? Was from my little niece Miley who promptly fell in love with the Elephants and declared them her "puppies".

Clearly on board with John Green's desire for puppy sized elephants, she just decided that she would bypass evolution and declare the elephant sized elephant to be her very own puppy.

2. My very own superpower identified

I totes want this shirt! It's SO ME!!!!

You can get it here:
Awesome T-shirt of Awesomeness

3. If my next car has GPS, I totally want it to be Snape guided GPS!

4. It seems that my landlord has superhuman abilities to see issues within our apartment that we don't even know exist! He showed up at the door this afternoon telling me that the seal on our bedroom window was broken and he needed to come in and take some info from the window so that he could get it fixed and/or replaced.

On the surface this sounds like an amazingly attentive and responsible landlord. However, his attentiveness is just a little creepy considering we've been waiting for over 7 years for him to fix the hole he put in the cabinet under our kitchen sink, 4 years for him to properly fix the tile surround on our bathtub and over 5 years to do something about the mold in our bathroom walls. So, yeah. Wonder what the wait time is on the window thing?

5. It's a holiday weekend and cold or no cold, hubs and I are going to have fun if it kills us!!

It's Monday - With Books!

2011-08-29T07:58:00.000-05:00

Mood: Happy - the circus is rolling into town (and no, I don't mean family - I mean the honest to goodness circus with tents and everything!)

Possess by Gretchen McNeil

Fifteen-year-old Bridget Liu just wants to be left alone: by her mom, but the cute son of a local police sergeant, and by the eerie voices she can suddenly and inexplicably hear. Unfortunately for Bridget, it turns out the voices are demons – and Bridget has the rare ability to banish them back to whatever hell they came from. Terrified to tell people about her new power, Bridget confides in a local priest who enlists her help in increasingly dangerous cases of demonic possession. But just as she is starting to come to terms with her new power, Bridget receives a startling message from one of the demons. Now Bridget must unlock the secret to the demons' plan before someone close to her winds up dead – or worse, the human vessel of a demon king.

My Take:

Gretchen McNeil has delivered a truly spine chilling story with her debut novel, Possess. Bridget Liu has a lot on her plate. At 15 years old she has the typical teenage baggage in the form of friends, boys and family drama but she also has darker, heavier burdens that she carries. Her father, to whom she was incredibly close, was brutally murdered by a patient, her mother seems to be moving on with one of two suitors who tend to hang around the house a little too often and as if that weren’t enough, Bridget discovers she’s a Watcher.

As a Watcher, Bridget has the power to banish demons back to the hell from which they came – and suddenly demons are cropping up everywhere – even in creepy dolls who insist that she listen to the message they’ve been sent to deliver to her. It’s up to Bridget to decide who she believes and solve the mysteries surrounding her father’s murder, her own family history and get to the bottom of the demonic activity before it’s too late.

At a Glance

1.) This book is genuinely creepy without ever going over the top – it will definitely make you think twice about the things that go bump in the night. Although the story is definitely creepy and there is some violence – none of it is gratuitous – it’s all organic, flowing from the story and serves to make the story stronger and more real. LOVE

2.) Bridget – she’s is an amazing heroine – sarcastic, smart and full of snappy one liners. At the same time, she realistically struggles with the reality of her situation and what her abilities really mean.

3.) The mystery – there is one and it’s well woven throughout the story. I admit I pretty much figured it out about ¾ of the way through but that did not diminish the enjoyment for me at all because there were still so many unanswered questions that I could not stop reading!

4.) I LOVE that McNeil has explored the divide between good and evil – and found that line to be quite blurred and the divide not that wide.

5.) As usual, there are boys and Gretchen McNeil definitely delivers a totally swoon worthy crush in the form of Matt Quinn. The handsome son of the local police chief is always there for Bridget – whether she needs him to go with her to see her dad’s psychotic killer, search for secret files, do a little breaking and entering or take her to the winter formal.

Bottom line - I loved this book and can't wait to see what the author brings next!

It's Friday and It's a Freaking Hurricane!

2011-08-26T21:36:00.000-05:00

Mood: It's FRIDAY!!!!!

Given the events of the past couple of days it's pretty clear that the earth is seriously pissed off at the East Coast. Honestly, I'm not sure what they've done that brought down the wrath of Mother Nature but whatever it is I'd suggest they stop - ASAP!

In the meantime, they are all battening down the hatches to weather the next disaster in the form of Hurricane Irene. Here in the Midwest, our violent storms usually come in the form of severe thunderstorms/tornadoes. There's usually not much warning and, if you're lucky, you'll have time to run and hide in a basement or bathroom* before all hell breaks loose.

Unless, of course, it's winter - and there's a blizzard on the way. In which case we must all run to the store in a dead panic to buy all the batteries, milk and bread we can find.

<----Clearly, this is the general 'prepare for disaster' protocol. Oh, sure, East Coasters aren't running out to buy all the milk and bread they can get their hands on but the idea is still the same.

The good news is that generally, after all that milk and bread buying, the blizzard is rarely as bad as predicted and we all end up feeling a bit foolish scrambling to find recipes to use up all the bread and milk we've hoarded in preparation for our own personal version of the apocalypse.

So, to all of those in the path of Irene - batten down the hatches, stay safe and here's hoping that in a few days you end up with a whole bunch of unused panic induced apocalypse purchases.

Oh, and for those of you who are having hurricane parties? Let's get things started!

*This is at direct odds with my number one death rule: DO NOT DIE IN THE BATHROOM

Tell the Truth Thursday

2011-08-25T19:51:00.000-05:00

Mood: Hungry (Not exactly a mood but it's dinner time)

My truths this Thursday:

1.) I'm totes excited to find this

I've got a tiny apartment sized stove with an even tinier apartment sized oven with only ONE rack. Christmas baking literally takes me days to complete. With this I'll have THREE racks and I'll be able to finish my holiday baking before I get all stabby and Grinchy.

2.) I finally dyed my hair. The result was a bit redder than the auburn color indicated on the box. It's a bit of a change but hubs likes it and I didn't think it was too bad until...my boss said "Wow! Red hair - did you do that to yourself on purpose?" head.desk.

3.) The circus is coming to town on Monday! I LOVE the circus but I always secretly worry when I’m sitting there under the big top. What if there’s an elephant stampede? Or what if the lions and tigers go rogue and start scratching all our skin off? I mean, what if the HUGE, GIGANTIC SCARY animals suddenly realize that they’re way bigger and stronger than we are and they decide to kill us all!?!

4.) I've been a massive exercise slacker lately. Video Game Barbie and I have not tangled in quite a few weeks. I'm slightly ashamed of this but I admit it's the same sort of shame I feel about my junk drawers. I wish things were different but I'm not sure I have the actual drive to get up and do anything about it.

So, there are the truths in my world - what about you bloggie friends? Anything you want to share?

WIP Wednesday

2011-08-24T18:19:00.000-05:00

Mood: Stressed (it was one of THOSE days!)

I'm working on my shiny new idea - we're in the honeymoon phase - it's a pretty, sparkly idea with no bad habits and it's just perfect and we're going to be happy together forever and ever!*

As with all shiny new ideas, this one requires that I do some research because, while I am a walking encyclopedia of useless information, I don't know everything.**

This week, my topics of research have included the following:

how long DNA results take
how long a body takes to decompose in water - in the summer
Whether bodies can be identified by standard means (dental records, etc.) or if a DNA test has to be done to confirm.
Post traumatic stress syndrome
Psychopathic tendencies

All interesting topics but I fear that I'm going to have some 'splaining to do if the FBI ever decides to check into my on-line activity.

*Or until it starts leaving its wet towels on the floor, refusing to cooperate and just generally being a major pain in my ass.
** I know, it surprises me too. Also, do NOT tell my husband I just admitted that.

Tuesday Tunes - Empire Records Edition

2011-08-23T08:00:00.001-05:00

Mood: Confused? Meh.

Time to show the little known, very underrated Empire Records some blog love

Sugar High! Couldn't find a version of the actual movie clip that would allow me to embed but I did find this nice edit without the movie playing and that works too! P.S. I only like the version of this song as it's played in the movie - the actual full version? Is a little too rated R.

I Want Money - Lots of Money - Joe's Money! A tribute to Lucas!

It's Rex Manning Day! Also? Video Killed the Radio Star...just saying...

I could keep going here because this movie is just made of dorky awesome so check it out. Seriously!

So Bloggie friends, what random earworms are travelling about in your brains today? Any movie soundtracks that just get stuck in your head from time to time?

Monday...Without Books. :(

2011-08-22T13:22:00.001-05:00

Mood: Tired and a bit cranky (probably best to keep a safe no fly zone distance away from me today).

It's Monday - which would possibly normally mean that it's time for another book review - but not today. Because today is a Monday without books. :-(

Okay, so not exactly a day without books - anyone who knows me knows that I've got three book shelves and a Nook filled with books so there are obviously books everywhere in my world. The problem is that I haven't finished reading anything in the past week that would lead me to say "YAY!! I must review this book on my blog! I just have to let others know about the awesomeness contained in these pages!!!"

Sigh. The truth is that I've been an epic failure as a reader. I partially blame my Nook. I love it. It's cute, and it's color and it allows me to have access to every.single.book I want to read. On the surface, this seems like a very good thing. In reality? Not so much.

Before I had my Nook, book shopping was an event. I would only get to visit a Book Store once in a great while. There are no book stores in my town so time had to be set aside to drive the 40 minutes to the nearest town with a large bookstore (my personal fave is B&N) and then I had to set aside a certain amount of money that I was allowed to spend on my book buying (because I have an ever so tiny book addiction and a very tight budget). THEN, I had to actually peruse the shelves and find books that I wanted to read that A. I could afford and B. I could find in less than the amount of time it would take my hubs to lose his mind waiting for me to find my books.

This plan worked for me. I had to decide what books I wanted to read and could afford in a relatively (by my standards - don't ask the hubs) short amount of time. Sometimes my choices were based on recommendations or my liking an author but most of the time my choices were made based on the shiny covers and the blurb on the back of the book jacket. I would take the books home, read them - like them or not - and that was the end of it.

NOW - I have all the books I could ever want available to be downloaded 24 hours a day! I can download samples, read the first few pages at my leisure and decide if I want to buy it to read the rest. Unfortunately I still have the small matter of a tight budget to consider - so what happens? I read sample after sample - wondering if each book, no matter how promising, might not be as good as the NEXT book sample I read. I worry that some night in a book nerd fueled frenzy I'll end up spending all of our bill money on downloading all the shiny looking new YA books and then hubs and I will end up sitting in the dark eating bologna by candlelight and not in the 16 candles romantic Jake Ryan way but more in the "I hate you and want a divorce" War of the Roses way.

Sigh. So, my fellow bloggie friends, anyone have any great recommendations? Something you've read recently that just knocked your socks off and you just have to share?

Freak Out Friday...

2011-08-19T14:47:00.002-05:00

Mood: Lazy

Most of the randomness knocking about in my brain today are the creepy and/or freaky variety - So...

1.) Brain Eating Amoebas!

I am not making this up! When I loaded up the Yahoo home page to check my e-mail last night, the headline was something like “RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BECAUSE THE AMOEBAS ARE INVADING OUR BRAINS!”

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the exact headline but it might as well have been. My overly worried, OCD hypochondriac self was seriously freaked. Like seriously. Freaked. But then I realized that these nasty little bastards only hang out in warm bodies of water so as long as I don’t go swimming in a lake or pond, I should be golden, right? Wrong. Because it turns out that a young man was killed when he came in contact with the brain eating amoebas from his own tap water. *Looks at shower* *whimpers* I don’t want my brains eaten by creepy amoebas!*

2.) Creepy FISH CARS

We have a new neighbor and honestly, he kinda creeps me out. Or, more specifically, his vehicle creeps me out. I get that he likes fishing. That’s great, go fish, be happy. Whatever. But really? Walking out of my apartment building every morning and coming face to face with a giant Bass named Peggy Sue** with some sort of crickety, cockroachy type bug in her mouth makes me all stabby. (I don't even want to talk about the fish skull with the gaping mouth on his dashboard)

So my bloggie friends, what is freaking you out this fine Friday?

*if my brains are to be eaten, I want them to be consumed by totally bad assed zombies.

** You can't see it in the picture, but trust me - Peggy Sue is spelled out in sparkly letters on the mounting hardware.

Tell the Truth Thursday

2011-08-18T17:55:00.001-05:00

Mood: Tired and ready for the weekend.

My truths this Thursday

1.) I totally need to dye my hair. I've needed to do this for the last three weeks or so. I've got massive roots showing* and yet I've been too lazy to actually get it done. I did take the box out of the cabinet and open it so that's something, right?

2.) I've recently discovered the Vlog Brothers. How did not know about the awesomeness of these guys? If you haven't checked out their channel on YouTube, you should totally do it. Now. Also? This has helped clear up some confusion on my part over Maureen Johnson's use of the word "nerd fighter" in her Tweets.** If you're not following her on Twitter you should do that too.

3.) I cannot seem to stop watching all kinds of really bad reality type documentary shows. Hoarders, The Weird Addiction Shows, even a show about people who are obsessed with entering sweepstakes. I suspect this is because these nut burgers are the only people in the world who make me feel even remotely normal.

So, there you have it - what are your truths this week?

*I know, people don't have roots, trees have roots but the point is that my hair is way too technicolor with all the browns, reds and grays.

**to be honest the term "nerd fighter" kind of scared me at first. I mean, I'm kind of a nerd and I totally can't fight so, yeah. I wasn't looking to encounter anyone who called themselves "nerd fighters". I have now been schooled.

Adventures in Writing

2011-08-17T08:43:00.001-05:00

Mood: Happy - my sister's baby is perfectly healthy (there was some concern) and a BOY! We will be welcoming my new little nephew sometime toward the end of October.

This is how my writer's brain has been feeling lately:

I've had tons of shiny new ideas running around in my head - each trying to claw their way out into the real world. Some good and some, well, remember that Eyes Wide Shut* was once someone's idea. *sigh*

And then there's my completed manuscript that I've tucked away for a while. I've come to realize that it doesn't just need edits, it needs a massive rewrite. *sighs louder* I still love the story and I'm crazy about my characters but I think it needs to rest a while longer before I start picking it apart again.

So, while I'm constantly writing, plotting, outlining and researching it seems like I'm spinning my wheels in mud and going nowhere fast.

I did start work on a new project last night that has me really excited so hopefully I'll soon break free of the mud. If not, someone feel free to give me a push. **

*That? Was a truly awful movie. I still want my 2 hours back. And Tom Cruise? No. Just NO!
**and if the push is in the direction of cake? That would be made of awesome.

Tuesday Tunes

2011-08-16T07:46:00.001-05:00

Mood: Kinda bleh

It's Tuesday - time once again to share the random earworms that rear their heads at the oddest times.

If I Die Young - The Band Perry
Hauntingly beautiful and sad this is the perfect song for my shiny new WIP idea so it has wandered through my brain quite a lot over the last few days.

Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae
This just a fun song - it never fails to make me smile and sing along! *la la la*

Those are the songs that are constantly buzzing in my ears - what about you? Do you have any current earworms that just won't leave you alone?

Monday In Books

2011-08-15T07:39:00.003-05:00

Mood: Monday (it’s a Mood)

Twenty Eight and a Half Wishes by Denise Grover Swank

“It all started when I saw myself dead.”

For Rose Gardner, working at the DMV on a Friday afternoon is bad even before she sees a vision of herself dead. She’s had plenty of visions, usually boring ones like someone’s toilet’s overflowed, but she’s never seen one of herself before. When her overbearing momma winds up murdered on her sofa instead, two things are certain: There isn’t enough hydrogen peroxide in the state of Arkansas to get that stain out, and Rose is the prime suspect.

Rose realizes she’s wasted twenty-four years of living and makes a list on the back of a Wal-Mart receipt: twenty-eight things she wants to accomplish before her vision comes true. She’s well on her way with the help of her next door neighbor Joe, who has no trouble teaching Rose the rules of drinking, but won’t help with number fifteen– do more with a man. Joe’s new to town, but it doesn’t take a vision for Rose to realize he’s got plenty secrets of his own.

Somebody thinks Rose has something they want and they’ll do anything to get it. Her house is broken into, someone else she knows is murdered, and suddenly, dying a virgin in the Fenton County jail isn’t her biggest worry after all.

My Take

In Twenty Eight and a Half Wishes, Denise Grover Swank has spun a tale that is part romance, part mystery and a compelling character study filled with a heavy dose of sleepy southern charm.

Rose, the product of an extremely critical and overbearing “momma”, is used to being the object of scrutiny in her small home town but she’s definitely not ready for the amount of scrutiny that comes with being the prime suspect in the murder of her momma. The local busy bodies are ready to run her out of town on a rail. The police are keeping an ever watchful eye on her and her sister, Violet, is sure she knows what’s best for Rose. Also, her totally crush worthy but completely mysterious neighbor Joe is an unexpected complication in her life – but Rose is a woman on a mission to discover herself and live her life to the fullest – at least for the short amount of time she might have before either the local police arrest her or the murderers who killed her momma succeed in coming back for her.

At a Glance

1.) Rose is an amazingly real, three dimensional character and through the course of the novel she grows and really gains a sense of who she is and what she’s capable of doing. It’s a completely organic transition that is flawlessly woven through the story. LOVE this.

2.) The “supporting” cast of characters is well rounded and very believable – from the busy body church ladies to Violet who desperately loves her sister but, in some ways, is just as overbearing as momma was.

3.) The southern charm. I’m just sure if I drove far enough through the south, I’d stumble across the little town of Henryetta where Rose is working at the DMV and the blue haired busy bodies are still fussing. It’s this realism that keeps the reader engaged in Rose’s story and keeps Rose in your mind long after you’ve finished reading.

4.) Joe *swoons*. Seriously. This is a massively crush worthy hero and not just because he’s totally sexy and mysterious enough to keep you constantly on edge, but because he’s strong enough to let Rose learn to be strong as well. The fact that he’s willing to help her cross a few things off her list? *ahem – do more with a man* Is an added bonus.

The Friday Five

2011-08-12T21:07:00.000-05:00

Mood: Happy (It's the weekend baby! Although I'm a bit bummed b/c the hubs and I wanted to go camping but it's supposed to rain and while I don't mind camping in the rain, I loathe setting up and taking down in the rain).

It's Friday, so it's time once again for the Friday Five!

So, the five random things knocking about the back of my brain today?

1.) Our new veggie to try this week is turnip. After my reaction to the Eggplant of Doom, I'm a bit nervous about trying the turnip. What if it's a TURNIP OF DOOM????

<----------- See? Scary TURNIP OF DOOM!

2.) I'm really, really loving the cooler weather that has been visiting our area for the last couple of days. It reminds me that fall isn't that far away.

3.) Speaking of fall, I totes love our new fall candle holders that we found at Walgreen's.

Super cute. We plan to fill them with some candy corn to stabilize the candles that we put in them. I think they'll be perfect fall centerpieces.

4.) I've been doing the low carb diet thing for almost 2.5 months now. It's working well (I'm down nearly 45 pounds! Yay and stuff) but there are times that I think I'd sell a kidney for a spoonful of mashed potatoes. #carbsaremycrack

5.) I've been watching a marathon of the show "A Haunting". Little piece of advice? If you go to look at a house and the current owners have boarded up rooms, run out and left everything including food in the fridge or are willing to part with it for a ridiculously low price? You probably want to keep right on moving. Just saying...

Tell the Truth Thursday

2011-08-11T17:05:00.000-05:00

Mood: Tired (it's been a LONG week)

My truths this Thursday:

1.) It's been way too long since I've blogged - I read somewhere that you're not supposed to point that out in your blog because it makes you seem "unprofessional"

2.) Clearly I don't care about vaguely random internet blogging rules

3.) I'm seriously thinking about attending my 20th high school reunion. Given the amount of emotional torture I endured during my high school years...

4.) I suspect this means that I'm either A. crazy or B. a masochist

5.) I think you should check out a copy of Twenty Eight and a Half Wishes by Denise Grover Swank. I was lucky enough to be a beta reader for this awesome book and I STILL bought a copy when it released. I will be doing a review on my next review Monday but really, just buy it because it's awesome.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys...Whatcha Gonna Do?

2011-06-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Mood: Stressed

Hubs got pulled over yesterday on his way home from work for a loud muffler. This? Was a totally fair stop considering he technically has no muffler and most of his exhaust system is currently laying on the floor in the hallway outside our apartment door.

However, once the officer made the stop something prompted him to go all COPS on hubs.

Officer: "Where are you coming from?"
Hubs: Work
Officer: Where are you going?
Hubs: Home

"Sir, can you please step out of the car?"

At which point, the officer decided that hubs looked so dangerous he needed to be completely patted down for weapons and drugs.

What the officer found? A work badge, a cell phone and a pen drive hooked to the cell phone in a nerdtastic pen drive case. Apparently there was something about the sheer level of nerdiness that then prompted the officer to think that hubs MUST be hiding all of his contraband in his car.

Yep, he was totally rolling White and Nerdy.

Officer: "Sir, do you have a problem with me searching your car?"
Hubs: "I guess not"
Officer: "Do you have any knives, weapons, or drugs I should know about?"
Hubs: "Uh, no"
Officer: "You sure?"

Really? *sighs for the state of law enforcement* Hubs then had to stand on the side of the road in 95° heat while the officer rifled through every little corner of his vehicle. Finally, a half hour later, hubs was allowed to go on his way without even a warning for the muffler.

I suspect that the officer either A: realized what an idiot he had been.

Or B: Seriously needed a shower after having spent an half hour in the heat going through the toxic waste dump that is my hub's car.

Either way, I cannot believe that hubs didn't ask the question "what about my nerdy self and my 14 year old craptastic car with 250,000 miles on it made you think, drug dealer?" Because I'm seriously intrigued. Was it the white fuzzy teddy bear he has on his dashboard (with a pink ribbon around its neck) or maybe it was the fuzzy blue teddy bear print blanket in the back seat? Or possibly the kindergarten nap mat? Really? What about this set up screams "I MUST be hiding tons of illegal drugs and weapons!?!"

I guess, like the owl and the tootsie pop, the world may never know...

Tell The Truth Thursday

2011-03-17T22:06:00.000-05:00

Mood: Irish (it's St. Patty's day so it can be a mood)

My truths this Thursday

1.) I am part Irish but I don't like corned beef and cabbage.* This was a source of eternal disappointment to my grandmother who was very proud of our Irish heritage.

2.) It would seem that my OCD is expanding to include friends and family.I spent part of this evening with my sister at prompt care. As we were leaving I whipped out my hand sanitizer and demanded that everyone with me be degermed as well. **

3.) I've been taking a spring break from both my healthy eating and exercise regime. I'm not saying that this is a great idea but I was so tired of always worrying about every calorie eaten and burned that my brain was about to explode - so I gave myself a week off. ***

What are your truths this Thursday?

* Corned beef and cabbage smells like feet but I totally LOVE potatoes so I figure it evens out.
** In my defense prompt care is filled with nothing but super germy people and friends and family will thank me when they don't have to suffer through the plague.
*** This may or may not have been cleverly timed to take advantage of the reappearance of the Shamrock Shake.

WIP Wednesday

2011-03-16T18:36:00.000-05:00

Mood: Mad and sad - I'm SMAD (got some not so great news about someone I care about this afternoon)

I've been working the edits on Legacy and, while working the edits I've discovered that there are major parts that just don't work, chapters that are in the wrong places and entire plot sections that need to be disposed of.

While working on cutting, ripping and tearing bits and pieces apart I've also discovered that the creative part of my brain isn't willing to rest quietly while my internal editor wrestles over word choices and timelines. Oh no. She wants her voice heard as well.

Creative Brain: Wouldn't it be awesome if we added 'completely awesome but complicated storyline idea'?

Me: Uh yeah, that would be awesome but to do that I'd have to re-write the entire book almost from the beginning.

CB: So?

Me: So? So that's a heck of a lot of work and I'm not sure I can do that kind of rewrite on this story.

CB: So you just want your story to suck then?

Me: No

CB: You must, you want to suck. Suckity, suckity, suck.

Me: Look, you don't have to do the work - it's not easy doing that kind of change

CB: LALALALALALALALA I can't heeeaaarrrr you! Suckity, suckity, suck!

So, yeah - that's what's going on in my writing world - what about yours?

Monday in Books - Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins

2011-03-14T09:30:00.000-05:00

Mood: Tired (curse you DST!)

Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins

Sophie Mercer thought she was a witch.

That was the whole reason she was sent to Hex Hall, a reform school for delinquent Prodigium (aka witches, shapeshifters, and fairies). But that was before she discovered the family secret, and that her hot crush, Archer Cross, is an agent for The Eye, a group bent on wiping Prodigium off the face of the earth.

Turns out, Sophie’s a demon, one of only two in the world—the other being her father. What’s worse, she has powers that threaten the lives of everyone she loves. Which is precisely why Sophie decides she must go to London for the Removal, a dangerous procedure that will destroy her powers.

But once Sophie arrives she makes a shocking discovery. Her new friends? They’re demons too. Meaning someone is raising them in secret with creepy plans to use their powers, and probably not for good. Meanwhile, The Eye is set on hunting Sophie down, and they’re using Acher to do it. But it’s not like she has feelings for him anymore. Does she?

My Take

Rachel Hawkins delivers another amazing entry in the Hex Hall series. This time Sophie and her bff Jenna (with super handsome healer Cal) are off on an adventure to England to spend the summer with Sophie's dad. Frightened of her own power to potentially harm the people she loves most, Sophie is at first determined to undergo 'the removal' - a dangerous ceremony that will strip her of her powers. However, she quickly realizes that all is not as it seems in the world of the Prodigium and having her powers stripped is perhaps the last thing she should be doing.

The Eye is actively hunting Sophie in an attempt to destroy her. Someone is raising demons and no one seems to know who or why. The Prodigium council, the staff at Hex Hall - suddenly no one is who or what they seem and Sophie is determined to get to the bottom of the mystery. To get the answers she seeks she's going to have to rely on her old frenemy, Archer Cross - but as a warlock working for The Eye can he be trusted?

At A Glance

1.) Demonglass is that rare perfect combination of pacing, humor, suspense and action making it a read that I just couldn't put down.

2.) I LOVE that Sophie has evolved and grown as a character. Sophie is not a one dimensional, stagnate character - she's learning, changing and adapting.

3.) As much as she might be evolving, Sophie never loses her sense of humor or her sarcastic responses - this makes her the most awesome demon I've never met! Demonglass will keep you smiling as much as it keeps you on the edge of your seat.

4.) Almost nothing is black and white in this book - but there are TONS of shades of gray. Bad guys aren't always all bad - good guys aren't always what they seem to be and the decisions between the two aren't always easy. For me this a great addition to a story - I like feeling the conflict of two 'almost right' decisions.

5.) The guys - sigh. Archer and Cal - which one will Sophie choose? Which one should she choose? Personally, I'm glad I'm not Sophie because the decision would be WAY too hard to make. *

6.) The ending - another sigh. I didn't hate the ending but it definitely left us hanging and I do mean HANGING!!!! Not that this is necessarily a bad thing but it did make me want to station myself in front of Rachel Hawkins and poke her constantly with incessent questions like "is the new Hex Hall out yet?" "What about now?" "now?" "is it out yet?" until she is forced to give in and hand over the book so I can find out what happens. **

*I'm leaning ever so slightly towards team Cal.

** Not that I would actually do that? Or....would I? *insert evil laugh here*

The Friday Five

2011-03-11T14:41:00.002-06:00

Mood: Weary (the earth has gone crazy today - praying for everyone affected)

It's Friday so it's time for the Friday Five - Five random things that are knocking about in the recesses of my brain.

1.) The earth has gone completely crazy today. Earthquakes and tsunamis affecting people all over the globe. I pray for the people affected and give thanks that my brother, who was stationed in Japan, is safe and sound at home.

Those of us who are safe and sound may want to consider making a donation to the Red Cross to help assist in the disaster relief efforts following this massive event.

From the Red Cross Website:

Those who want to help can go to www.redcross.org and donate to Japan Earthquake and Pacific Tsunami. People can also text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation to help those affected by the earthquake in Japan and tsunami throughout the Pacific.

2.) My sister drives a 1980 - something Chevy Blazer that we affectionately refer to as "The Geez". The Geez has a zillion miles on it, sounds like a Sherman Tank and drives like a little old lady with arthritis - but it's her baby. For Christmas the hubs and I got her an emergency roadside assistance kit because we were worried about her driving The Geez and not having proper emergency tools.

This morning my 2006 Ford Fusion with less than 60,000 miles refused to start. I had to call my sister to bring The Geez to come rescue me. She cracked open her brand new roadside assistance kit for the first time to attempt to help me with my car. The irony of this is not lost on me.

3.) My car still won't start. I'm sincerely hoping that it's a dead cell in the battery - if not then it's probably the starter. The battery is roughly $100 - the starter? $400 (installed). It has to be the battery. *Gives car the stink eye*

4.) Nearly everyone in my family who has a car has been involved in a car accident in the last couple of weeks. From minor fender benders to a fairly serious car vs. semi truck accident everyone walked away without a scratch. I can't decide if this means we should play the lottery or wrap ourselves in bubble wrap.

5.) I like bacon!! This is a seriously epic announcement because my entire life I've loathed bacon with a loathing that is usually reserved for things like liver and other icky organ meat. However, recently I've come to embrace the yummy goodness that is a perfectly crisp piece of bacon.

I suspect this change of palate is due, at least in part, to a rare but acknowledged side effect of one of my medications - "change in taste". So chances are if I go off this medication bacon will once again be banished to the land of liver but until then? Bring.it.on. #nomomnom

Tell The Truth Thursday

2011-03-10T16:02:00.000-06:00

Mood: Sore (Video Game Barbie is going down - seriously)

My truths this Thursday:

1.) I'm ridiculously obsessed with the Charlie Sheen saga. I get that his little red choo-choo has gone right round the bend and that's sad but I can't.stop.watching.

2.) I totes want this shirt

3. I've given up nothing for Lent. I'm hoping God doesn't keep really close tabs on things like this.

4. There has been a black garbage bag in the hallway outside the neighbors apartment door for the last 3 days. I have half convinced myself that there must be body parts inside because that's somehow better in my mind than the idea that the neighbor has just dumped her trash in the hallway to rot for all eternity.

So, bloggie friends, what are your truths today?

WIP Wednesday

2011-03-09T17:59:00.000-06:00

Mood: Cranky (really, really cranky)

I'm currently knee deep in the editing process (yes, still so shut up already) but I am making at least some progress as evidenced by the following snapshot I took of my computer screen not more than 5 minutes ago

That rainbow of colors? Deleted text, added text, moved text and helpful notes like "really? can she STOP looking around the damn room already?*" BUT. If you look closely** you will see that there are a few words here and there that escaped completely unscathed. Those are the words*** around which I am building my second draft.

With any luck the suckage factor of my second draft will be infinitely less than that of the first but if it's one thing I've learned through the writing process it's to never underestimate my ability to suck.****
_________________________________________________________________________________
*seriously, I think I may have accidentally given my main character whiplash from all the looking around the room she did.

**verra verra closely

***mostly gems like "the", "and" & "I"

****that and no matter how well the writing is going if you don't take that pee break things are going to get VERY uncomfortable. A little friendly writerly advice there - just saying..

Tuesday Tunes

2011-03-08T07:40:00.001-06:00

Mood: Weary (is it really only Tuesday?)

Lest everyone think that I only watch tv, I thought I’d take the opportunity to share some totally random earworms that have recently infected my brain. Don’t judge me – my brain is a very weird place.

Grenade – Bruno Mars

Dude? If people are lopping grenades at her you might want to rethink your level of devotion. Just saying…but the song is still pretty epic.

Secrets – The Pierces

Okay, so the video is creepy and the whole “kill your friend because she knows your secrets” part of the song is a bit creepy but I still love it. I don’t want to think about what this means.

This is The Day – The The

I seriously love this song – lots of fun and used in the completely awesome but severely underrated Empire Records.

There you have it bloggery friends – my current earworms. What about you? What songs are buzzing against your eardrums refusing to leave?

Monday in Books - The Liar Society by Lisa and Laura Roecker

2011-03-07T11:13:00.002-06:00

Mood: Monday (it's a mood)
On the interwebz radio: Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars (*sigh*)

It's Monday and I'm trying something new - you know, actually blogging and stuff. Yay blogger me! Okay, well I'm trying the whole "blog in advance and let it post on Monday" thing but whatever - it's almost the same thing, right? Right!

So onto the next new for me thing - book reviews. I don't usually (read: never) do them. Now don't get me wrong, I'll chat books all day in person. I'll tell you the good, the bad, the ugly and twist your arm to the point of snapping to either get you to buy a good book or stop you from wasting your money on what I considered a monumental waste of perfectly good trees and ink. However, putting those thoughts into actual written words? Not so much.

Until now. As I started thinking about what would make a good book for my very first blogging book review, I didn't have to look much further than my pink haired avi on Twitter for the answer.

THE LIAR SOCIETY by LISA and LAURA ROECKER

Since when do the dead send emails?

Kate Lowry's best friend Grace died a year ago. So when she gets an email from her, Kate's more than a little confused.

To: KateLowry@pemberlybrown.edu

From: GraceLee@pemberlybrown.edu

Subject: (no subject)

Kate,
I'm here... sort of.
Find Cameron. He knows.
I shouldn't be writing.
Don't tell. They'll hurt you.

Now Kate has no choice but to prove once and for all that Grace's death was more than just a tragic accident. She teams up with a couple of knights-in-(not-so)-shining armor-the dangerously hot bad boy, Liam, and her lovestruck neighbor, Seth. But at their elite private school, there are secrets so big people will do anything to protect them-even if it means getting rid of anyone trying to solve a murder...
Sourcebooks Fire (March 1, 2011)

My Take

Lisa and Laura Roecker have hit an absolute YA home run with their debut novel The Liar Society.

Sporting pink hair and her best friend's pearls and prompted by e-mails from her dead best friend, Kate Lowry is on a mission to solve the mysteries that haunt the hallowed halls of her prestigious private school, Pemberly Brown, and in the process get to the bottom of what really happened the night her best friend died in a tragic fire.

First, let me say that Kate Lowry has taken up residence right next to Nancy Drew and Veronica Mars in the YA mystery niche of my heart but she has a very special space all her own. In Kate, the Roecker sisters have created a main character that is so real, and perfect in her imperfection that she really is the girl next door - if the girl next door got e-mails from her dead best friend, had a dorky side kick with an undying crush on her and a super smexy love interest who may or may not be involved in the deadly secrets that are buried at Pemberly Brown.

Told seamlessly in a mixture of flashbacks and present day, the story carries the reader along through an adventure that will keep you guessing from one minute to the next.

At a Glance

1. No one dimensional "mean girl" or "rich spoiled kids" stereotypes for the Roecker sisters which I LOVE! The characters are real, flawed, and three dimensional - even the more minor characters - did I mention that I LOVE this?

2. Kate is not only sassy and sarcastic, which = awesome but she's SMART. Like 'knows Latin' smart. Also, she knows enough to know that when she's heading into a potentially dangerous situation she should probably at least leave a text message for her knights in shiny tin foil (okay, maybe the tin foil thing only applies to Seth and the tin foil was probably in the form of a hat, but still)

3. The "love story". All good books have one and this book is no exception - except that it is. Seth has a major thing for Kate. Kate may or may not have a thing for Liam. It's a nice side story that unfolds in a very real awkward teenage way but it doesn't take over the main story. Which is all kinds of awesome! No pining away for some guy for our Kate! She's got mysteries to solve and butts to kick. She might have time to steal a kiss or two in between but really? That's not her focus.

4. The ending - I'll admit that some might find the ending somewhat unsatisfying but I was not one of those people. I'm okay with endings that are a bit open ended because life is often that way. Not everything gets pulled together in a neat little package and that's okay because, like Kate, we always have the option to keep pressing forward. And she will and I will be there to read it when she does! :)

It's All About Pennies and Inches

2011-01-22T20:52:00.000-06:00

Mood: Tired but accomplished
On TV: King of the Hill (I tell you what)

It's mid-January, it's freezing (like REALLY freezing) outside and there is absolutely nothing to do except sit inside our tiny cramped apartment and get more annoyed at the fact that it seems to be getting tinier and more cramped by the minute - this is a time honored winter tradition in our household.

So it was probably inevitable that when the hubs asked me what I wanted to do with our Saturday I suggested rearranging and de-cluttering our apartment (in an effort to keep the walls from completely closing in and smashing us in our sleep) - but it was surprising that the hubs not only agreed but jumped up to get started.

We spent hours today - purging our closets - getting rid of old clothes, shoes and generally useless crap that the two of us somehow manage to collect over the course of a year. We added storage and organization solutions to our closets and rearranged things until we'd gained a few inches of storage space in each closet.

A few inches may not sound like much but when you're living in such a small space a few extra inches can make all the difference in the world. It means that things that were tucked in corners can now be properly stored on shelves in the closet - it means that furniture can be shifted ever so slightly, eventually making room for:

MY NEW DESK!!!!!!

Turning the end table and moving a few things into the newly created spaces in our closet gave us room for a tiny desk all for me! I'm so excited to finally be able to move from my previous work space (otherwise known as the corner of the futon) and into a proper (although small) desk area.

One of the things we moved to make room for my new work area was our jar of change. We hauled the jar to our local supermarket and dumped the contents into the Coinstar machine - watching in awe as our pennies (literally - it was more than 50% pennies) started to add up. At the end of the count we had nearly $22.00 - all from pennies and a few nickels. Who knew that we had $22 dollars just sitting in a jar in the corner?

So, a few extra inches and I gained my own workspace. A few extra pennies nearly paid for the desk (what can I say - we're all about the craptastic cheapness that is Wal-Mart do it yourself furniture).

All of this started me thinking about my edits - which are currently so massive that half the time I don't even know where to start. It's a huge job and, no matter how much I do, it doesn't seem like I'm really getting anywhere but really? Isn't it all about the pennies and inches? One word, one sentence at a time and eventually I'll get there. And this time I'll do it at my super cool new desk!

New Year's Resolutions?

2011-01-16T00:00:00.001-06:00

Mood: Stabby (Cigna insurance and my new Nook have combined forces to drive me to the brink of insanity)
What I'm Listening to: Sounds of Nature on AOL radio (also, the occasional banging and stomping noises from the apartment upstairs)

"We need to move more - get some exercise because we're out.of.shape"

This is what I said to hubs a few weeks ago. He smiled, nodded and agreed in the most noncommittal, vaguest way possible that we should definitely do that.

We I talked about getting a membership at the local Rec Center because they have a walking track, swimming pool and tons of weight/cardio equipment to help us in our quest for fitness. Hubs smiled, nodded and agreed again - until it came time to actually, you know, go and do those things.

See, here's the thing. Hubs and I are basically sedentary people - particularly in the winter. I mean, we'd like to go to the rec center but it's across town and would require us going out into the snowy sub-zero temps of an Illinois winter. This? Is not really in line with our winter hibernation mode.

So, we decided on Plan B.

Meet plan B:

Now, I know, you're thinking "big deal, it's just a video game" but trust me - this is not just any video game. This is a one stop torture device masquerading as a harmless video game. It kicks my butt four times a week using innocent sounding activities and games along with a personal trainer to help guide me.

By "personal trainer" I mean a video game character - kind of like Mario only less friendly and way less princess obsessed - whose job it is to whip my butt into shape. I hate her. Seriously. Loathe. She demands that I move faster, push harder and do things that are physically impossible because I'm not a two dimensional 90 pound video game generated stick insect.

Thankfully this game comes with a heart rate monitor that displays my heart rate right on the screen so I'll know the exact moment that my heart attack - slash- stroke begins. What would be even more helpful? If the device would trigger a call to 911 when I collapse on the floor in a quivering sweaty mass of goo at the end of a workout.

Deep in the Forest of Edits and Paper

2010-12-05T22:05:00.000-06:00

Mood: Tired (dreading the Monday dragon - it's peeking around the corner)
On TV: Bama Belles (Help me - I have a reality TV addiction!)

The halls at Casa de Cowsert are completely decked, the tree shelters a nice pile of gifts awaiting a visit from the gift wrapping fairy and I'm hip deep in the editing process.

Once upon a time I thought of the editing process as something akin to slapping a fresh coat of paint on an already gorgeous wall. You know, something that looks good already but just needs a little pizazz to send it right over the edge? This? Was because I used to over think and over edit as I wrote - which basically meant that I would rarely ever finish a draft of anything because I was too focused on achieving perfection the first time around.

So up until now, my edits have resembled a project something like this:

Thankfully I learned to let go of that obsessive need to be perfect during the writing process. I was all "Yay! first drafts are supposed to suck and I suck so yay me!!!"

Now, however, I'm faced with the aftermath of a sucky first draft. Instead of just slapping a fresh coat of paint on a perfectly smooth and primed wall I'm left with something that looks more like this:

It has great bones, a solid structure and with a LOT of TLC it could be really amazing but I'm going to need a sledge hammer, not a paint brush to get me there.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T21:55:00.000-06:00

Mood: Tired but content (and a little stuffed to be honest)

On TV: World's Dumbest - Holiday Edition (watching stupid people do stupid things - the perfect way to end a holiday!)

In case anyone missed it, today is Thanksgiving! It's the day to jump out of bed, turn on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and then eat yourself silly all in the name of being thankful for the blessings in our lives. So, today I'm especially reminded to be thankful for:

My hubs. He drives me crazy. Seriously crazy. But. I wouldn't know what to do without him. And they make medication for the crazy.

My family. Ditto the crazy but, again, I wouldn't know what to do without them. Also? The medication for the hubs crazy works equally well for the family crazy.

Car horns. They keep me from having a head on collision with people who are driving the wrong way down a one way street. They also allow me to advise said people of their error.

My laptop - I know, shallow right? But I loves my laptop!

Friends - both internet based and real life. Without friends I'd need a lot more of the medication for the various crazy in my life.

Disposable cookware. *

So there you have it. Hope everyone has had a great turkey day and that you have many blessings in your lives for which you can be thankful.

*Don't judge me - when you cook for a huge family it's all about the easy clean up.

Thankfully Crazy?

2010-11-24T20:49:00.002-06:00

Mood: Thankful (what? It's like the whole point of the holiday, no?)
On TV: Hell's Kitchen (It is Wednesday and nothing like seeing some chef butt kicked to start the holiday off right!)

Tonight I have made two pumpkin pies, two chocolate pies and one banana pie. I also have bags filled with all the fixings necessary to feed a standing army of approximately 5,000 hungry soldiers - or my family. Tomorrow I will take said fixings to my mother's house where I will spend hours with my sisters preparing an awesome feast that the hungry masses will annihilate in a mere 20 minutes. What can I say? It's tradition!

You know what else is tradition? Black Friday shopping! But seriously? What is up with the whole "go to the store at 3:00 am" crap? People, we have got to stop the insanity! Most of us will spend all day tomorrow with family and friends, eating ourselves into a carb induced coma, and then we're expected to drag our tired, pie filled selves out of bed in the middle of the night to schlep through the freezing cold of a November night to save $10 on something that we probably don't even want to begin with? I. don't. think. so! There really isn't anything I want badly enough to stand in line for in the middle of the night.*

However, it's tradition so Scott and I will drag ourselves out of bed somewhere around the crack of 10:00 am on Friday (and that's a bit too early for our liking on a day off). We'll curse the crowds, we'll find some good deals on Christmas gifts, we'll see Santa** and we'll do it all with the benefit of a full night's sleep because that's what sane people do. And really? If hubs and I are the measure of sanity in any given situation then people really need to reevaluate their life choices.

*Okay, there was the Harry Potter book thing but that was different.

** Don't judge me - how else is Santa going to know that I want a Nook Color for Christmas?

I'm a NaNoWriMo Drop Out!

2010-11-06T16:18:00.000-05:00

Mood: Lonely and out of sorts (hubs is at work all day today - great OT for the holidays but I'm used to having my best friend at home on a Saturday and I miss him. )

On TV: Haunted London (guess the tv isn't ready to let go of Halloween just yet)

I? Am officially a NaNoWriMo drop out. Yep. That's right. Already. I'm a quitter. *hangs head in writerly shame*

For the non-writing peeps out there, NaNoWriMo is national novel writing month. 30 days of insanity that take hold every November when writers, professional and amateur alike, try to pound out a novel of 50,000 words in just a single month. It sounds like a great idea, right? Just write with abandon and get the words out on paper (or the computer) and at the end of a mere 30 days of insanity you will have completed a basic novel.

After completing my last work I thought that joining in the NaNoWriMo ~~insanity~~ fun would be a great way to get the creative juices flowing again. It would be a way of driving forward with my next work while the previous one awaits rewrites. Yeah. That was the thought anyway. The reality was much different.

Here's the thing folks. I'm a nerd. A card carrying member of the "I have to have straight A's or I'll die" geek club. Which means that when it comes to writing (or anything that remotely resembles an "assignment") I'm a painful perfectionist. Why that perfectionism couldn't apply to something more useful like, say, keeping my house clean or actually applying make-up everyday, I'll never know but it is what it is.

So, when I decided to dive right into the NaNo fray? I froze. Couldn't write, couldn't think. Spent days trying to flesh out an idea and failing miserably because all I could do was feel the pressure of the looming deadline. My muse clammed up and sat in the corner refusing to talk to me. My brain? Was only capable of playing endless rounds of on-line Yahtzee.

What if I didn't finish? (okay, really, what did I think was going to happen? It's not like the NaNo police are going to come and confiscate my computer.)

But if I didn't finish then I would fail and I can't fail! (I can however let my dishes pile up, my vacuum cleaner grow dusty with disuse and are there really people who immediately put their laundry away after washing because I really think that's a vicious rumor).

Ultimately I decided that I needed to remove the pressure from my writing. Not that deadlines aren't useful but, for me, the deadline of one month was nearly enough to drive me out of my mind in less than a week.

So, to all the NaNo warriors out there - I wish you luck and flowing words.

As for me? I have another game of on-line Yahtzee to finish and then maybe I'll do the dishes. Or maybe I'll write because now that the deadline has been removed my muse is starting to look like she might be willing to have a little chat.

Ahem I Have an Announcement...

2010-10-25T10:39:00.000-05:00

Mood: Happy (even though it's Monday)

What I'm Listening to: Christmas Music (shut up. I like Christmas music)

I know that I've been MIA in blogger land lately. Now, this will come as no great shock to those of you who know me. I'm quite possibly the world's most inconsistent blogger. No. Really. I think it's a title and I hold it so don't rain on my parade.

However, this time, I have an epically good reason. *cue epic music*

The official announcement was made by my sometimes cheerleader, sometimes butt kicker but always supportive award winning (because that's how she rolls) author and dear Tweetie friend, LK Gardner-Griffie on Saturday night on Twitter. But, for those of you who don't obsessively follow all the writing threads on Twitter, here it is:

Ahem #amwritingparty Let it be known - @rcowsert gave birth to a shiny new novel at 19:16 PT. Mama & baby are doing well. WIP is incubating.

Yep. That's right. I finally finished it! *cue happy dances, sparkles and streamers from the ceilings* I've been spending the last month or so really pushing for the end of this endless novel and I've finally made it! Of course, it's still a baby WIP, which means that it needs a lot of work before it's ready to go out into the world on its own but that's okay. I'll have it walking, talking and potty trained and ready to go to agents in due time. Until then I'm enjoying that new WIP snuggly smell.

*tickles WIP tummy*

Now....hmmm...starting to think that maybe baby WIP needs a brother or sister to play with....

Silencing Speak?

2010-09-19T21:30:00.004-05:00

Mood: Irritated (banned and challenged books do that to me)

On Tv: COPS (hoping to see someone tazed - sweet, I swear, someone totally just got tazed!)

I have never read this book:

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson is a book for young adults that deals with very real but very difficult and uncomfortable young adult topics. Like drinking. Like parties. Like Rape. Like a young woman who feels she has to remain silent about what has happened to her. In other words, it contains uncomfortable and difficult young adult topics faced by nearly every teenager at every high school in America today.

Unfortunately, this has prompted some dissent from people like Wesley Scroggins. Who has decided to protest its inclusion in school curriculum (certainly his right) but he protests its inclusion by calling it "filthy" and "soft core porn" and then calling into question the Christian morality of the school board, teachers and parents that allow such immoral reading material to be put into the hands of our nation's teenagers.

Really? Really Mr. Scroggins? First, rape is not porn. It's a horrible act of violence. And it happens whether someone is moral or not. Whether they're Christian or not. And when it happens it leaves the victim feeling alone, broken, traumatized and terrified. Just like the character in the book. And just like the character in the book so many of those who are victimized will be afraid and embarrassed and, because of that, they will choose to live with their shame instead of allowing the shame to rest where it should - with the perpetrator of the crime.

Uncomfortable or not, these are issues we need to discuss with our young people and, whether you use it as a talking point with your teen or if they see themselves in the book and feel empowered enough by it to come to you, books like Speak can be an incredibly effective way to open that oftentimes difficult path of parent - teen communication.

While I strongly acknowledge a parent's right and responsibility to monitor their children's reading material for content and age appropriateness, no one has the right to decide what I will and will not allow my children to read nor what I will read myself.

So, I said at the beginning of this post that I have never read Speak. However, I will. And if I don't like it? I will opt not to read it again. If I don't think it's appropriate for teens? I won't allow teens in my care to read it. But if you want your teen to read it because you think it will be a powerful teaching tool? I will give you my copy!

Meanwhile, Eight Years Later...

2010-09-10T22:14:00.001-05:00

Mood: Content (just got back from a mini-vacation and celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary with the hubs!)

On Tv: Chopped (love what they give these chefs to work with - here's some hotdogs, liver, dried cranberries and dandelion greens - now make me a tasty dessert!)

Hubs and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary on September 7th. In honor of this stunning accomplishment (seriously - his packrat tendencies and my OCD tendencies should have really created an ultimate death match situation far before now), we decided to take a small vacation to the St. Louis area and, for once, the vacation Gods smiled and we were allowed to (mostly) enjoy our days off!

First? We went to the Arch in St. Louis. Hubs has been before but I have not. I seriously underestimated two things.

1. Just how TALL the Arch really is.
2. Just how terrified of heights I really am (for the record? Terrified doesn't even begin to cover it.)

Dude. That? Is tall. Props to hubs for doing the vertical pan to get it all in one picture because it was way more massive than I imagined. Also? Had no idea that there was a museum, shopping and other fun stuff under the arch...well, not under the arch but under the ground under the arch. Amazing. Really.

At first, I was all "no way am I going up to the top of that thing" and really that was a very smart initial reaction. I am a big baby. I make no bones about it and one of the things that I'm most terrified of is heights. Well...not so much heights as the potential for falling from them.

Then? I was all "I'm brave and I'm not going to allow my fears to limit my life experiences! I'm going up to the top of the arch!" So now I can say that, on this trip, I added to my list of life experiences : Going to the top of the Arch and Having a panic attack at a major National Monument. Go me!

Oh, and for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of going to the top of the Arch? You go up in a "pod". The pod is tiny, they cram up to 5 people in each one and it jerks and tilts as it makes its way up to the top of the Arch. I may have gotten a jump start on my panic attack in the pod on the way up. I may or may not have mentioned my fear that we were going to die.

Scary, tiny pod of doom ---------->

After we survived the Arch (and the resulting panic attack) we headed over to the Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch. Hubs raved on it, friends have raved on it and now I see why. The atmosphere was amazingly classy and romantic without being too over the top. The food was incredible and I tried an Italian Cream Soda. Quite possibly my favorite new drink of all time. Seriously, how did I not know about these and their amazingly creamy goodness?

The next day we *I* was all geared up to spend the day at the Grant Farm. It's a living history farm with all kinds of animals, historical demonstrations, A Deer Park, the famous Budweiser Clydesdales and all kinds of other fun and "squeee" worthy stuff. The best part? It was all free except for a nominal $11.00 parking fee. I was practically bouncing with excitement.

Thanks to my trusty smart phone GPS app we found the place easily enough but I was immediately concerned when I noted that the parking lot was completely deserted. The place was absolutely empty. Normally that would have made me happy but I realized there was no way that a place like this would be completely empty if it were, in fact, open.

Suddenly I had that sinking feeling that Clark Griswold must have felt when he arrived at Walley World

Unfortunately, there was no giant moose for me to punch. Why are there never giant mooses to punch when you need one???
Apparently the farm is only open on weekends after Labor Day. Well played Vacation Gods, well played.

Hubs and I quickly regrouped and decided to check out the St. Louis Zoo.

You guys? I got to play with stingrays. Baby stingrays, giant stingrays, black stingrays, gray stingrays...it was epically epic. I'm usually not a fan of touching wildlife of any kind and stingrays, well, they killed the crocodile hunter and he was pretty bad ass so normally I wouldn't even think of putting my hand in a tank of these things...but for some odd reason I really, really wanted to. And I LOVED it!

Oh, and ladies, try not to be too jealous but I have one more picture to share. My anniversary gift from my loving hubs:

Some women get jewelry, some women get showered with priceless gems. I get a ceramic pig with a tiara and a tutu and it's absolutely perfect proving that my hubs "gets" me. :)

Moving on Up?

2010-08-30T22:42:00.000-05:00

Mood: Angsty (Just out of sorts and can't settle my mind to anything - even writing - which is what I should be doing)

On Tv: Hoarders (Someone please tell me why I am so fascinated by the amount of filth in which some people are comfortable living?)

Is there anything more fun that getting together with friends and family to move an entire household full of stuff for my mother in one night? No? I didn't think so. So, that's what the hubs and I - and the rest of my family and some friends gathered to do last Thursday night after work.

Some of us were obviously a bit more excited about the upcoming move than others...

At one point in the evening's work, my sister Sarah and I found ourselves left in charge of entertaining our four nephews and two nieces (all under the age of 8) in a house that was nearly empty and devoid of any meaningful forms of entertainment outside two already tired aunties.

Striving to provide entertainment for the restless masses, Sarah and I sang endless verses of Jingle Bells, The Wheels on the Bus and various other half remembered childhood songs - thankfully none of the kids knows how to operate a video recorder so these precious moments of humiliation (complete with the accompanying movements to act them out) were not preserved for public consumption via YouTube.

Through the course of the evening I found myself saying things that I never thought I'd say. My favorites?

*Stop licking your sister (really? Why are you licking your sister?)
*Stop chewing on your feet (although I admire your flexibility)
*Stop chewing on your brother's/sister's feet (Ewwww...just...ewww)
*Don't shove that in your: nose, ears, mouth (because Auntie Rhonda is not going in after them)
*Don't shove that in your sister's/brother's: nose, ears, mouth (ditto on this one)
*Stop throwing your sister's dirty diaper around (Also, I don't need your comments on the contents and/or odor associated with that diaper)
*Stop throwing YOUR dirty diaper around (ditto here)
*No. You cannot eat Styrofoam. (although I appreciate your attempt to provide for yourself)
*No, tossing ripped up Styrofoam does NOT mean it's snowing (but it does mean Auntie Rhonda's eye is starting to twitch uncontrollably).

Luckily my sister Amanda and her husband showed up before they started making snow angels in the living room.
Next time? I'm going to take a page from my brother's book and just give them some cash to behave.

Arguing With Myself

2010-08-26T12:23:00.000-05:00

Mood: Stabby (Ask Jen Lancaster...it's a mood!)

On the Interwebz radio: Romeo and Juliet (Dire Straits version...from Empire Records - but today is so NOT my personal Rex Manning Day - if you don't get the reference, watch the movie. Seriously.)

*Hangs head in blogger shame*

I have been neglectful of my poor little blog. *Pats blog on head* I knew it had been a while since I blogged but I didn't think it had been over a month! Most writers I know blog almost obsessively. They wax witty and poetic on life, on writing, on their children and their pets. While I? Am doing what? Nothing! Well, not nothing obviously...I mean, I'm breathing and possibly playing Frontierville on Facebook, or eating ice cream...

<---- FYI: This? May or may not be what I look like when ice cream is involved.

...but obviously I've not been doing anything so spectacular that I've been kept from blogging. Because if I had been doing that awesome stuff? I totally would have been blogging about it.

So, let's take a small look inside my blogging mind:

Me: I totally need to put up a blog post. It's been like for-ever!
Myself: But I don't have anything interesting to blog about.
Me: So. Blog about writing.
Myself: I don't wanna blog about my writing. My writing sucks. I'm going to run away and join the circus!
Me: Well blog about that then.
Myself: Puh-leeze. Like anyone is going to believe someone with my bad balance and fat arse is going to join the circus.
Me: You could be a clown.
Myself: Shut.up.! I would not join the circus unless I could wear a super cute outfit and a sparkly tiara - like maybe the trapeeze.
Me: You're afraid of heights so the trapeeze thing? Is probably not the best option.
Myself: FINE!
Me: So? What are we going to blog about?
Myself: WE? We are not blogging about anything. This was your stupid idea, I'm going to get some ice cream.
Me: Ice cream? I want some too!!

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So, yeah, kind of scary in there isn't it? And we didn't even get close to the crap I keep hiding behind High School Algebra.

Anyway, I'm going to try to stop by here more often because really? After a month you would not believe the dust and spiderwebs that accumulate around here! :)

For Me? Really?

2010-07-21T21:59:00.000-05:00

Mood: Full (seriously, I think the hubs and I ordered all the Chinese food that exists outside of China - but it was quite yummy!)

On Tv: Toddlers and Tiaras (Don't judge me!)

<--- SQUEEE!!! Look what I've gotten!!! Some new blog bling and you all know how much I love some new blog bling!!!

I know, I know, I've been a bad blogger lately. A really bad blogger. I could say that I haven't had the time or that I've been devoting all my extra time to my writing work in progress, but that would be a lie of the biggest and fattest variety. The awful truth is that I've been sucked into the vortex that is Frontierville on Facebook. *hangs head in blogger type shame*.

Still, here I am blog folks and what better reason to be back here than to acknowledge the lovely award given me by none other than the amazingly talented and supremely kind EJ Fechenda over at EJ's Rants and Ramblings (and I swear, I would have said all of that even if she hadn't given me this award of awesomeness!).

As always, there are rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award. (Did I mention how awesome EJ is? Because she is!)

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Pass the award to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who think you are fantastic for whatever reason! (In no particular order...)

4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

Okay, so 7 things about myself. This one's a bit more difficult than you would imagine because I've already shared most things through the course of this blog. Hmmm....

1.) I love to go camping - and I'm talking about the "in the woods, in a tent, no electricty or running water" roughing it type camping.

2.) I hate bugs (I know this would seem in direct odds with #1 but what can I say? Bugs are gross!)

3.) When I was younger I wanted to be a nurse but I can't deal with blood or anything remotely medically gross - so nursing was obviously not the career choice for me.

4.) Autumn is my very favorite season. I love everything about it...the pretty leaves, the cooler days, the way the air smells. It's my absolutely favorite time of year.

5.) I'm an American History buff and completely geek out when it comes to living history events. Seriously. It's sad. I probably need some sort of help.

6.) I have an unnatural addiction to the Frosters you can only get at Circle K. Unfortunately, there are no Circle K stores in our town. It's practically a tragedy of my existence.

7.) I was born with a birth defect called Congenital Muscular Torticollis. Now they can correct most cases with intense physical therapy - back when I was diagnosed I had to have major surgery on the muscles in my neck when I was six months old and then spent the next year sporting a specially made baby sized whiplash collar.

Whew. Okay, now on to 15 bloggery type people who are so amazing that they definitely deserve this award.

1. Carol at Carol's Prints

2. Tawna Fenske over at Don't Pet Me, I'm Writing

3. Jamie at Bookmom Musings

4. Anne Riley at Anne Riley Books

5. Shannon Messenger at Ramblings of a Wannabe Scribe

6. Lisa and Laura at Lisa and Laura Write

7. Wendy Sparrow at Where Ladybugs Roar

8. Courtney Reese

9. Sarah McClung at Babbling Flow

Whew...okay, so I wasn't good at math but even I know that's not a full 15 but don't think I'm a lazy slacker (okay, so I'm totally a lazy slacker) because I will come back and finish this list with more amazing bloggers that you should be stalking if you're not already!

Is This Type of Torture Legal?

2010-07-07T23:04:00.000-05:00

Mood: Frustrated (trying to write and the hubs keeps interrupting me - every few minutes - for oh so important things like switching out cables for our printer).

On tv: The Simpsons (Don't judge me!)

It has recently been brought to our attention (via the fact that our clothes no longer fit properly and walking more than a few feet has become cause for both exhaustion and celebration) that the hubs and I are in desperate need of a renewal of our gym membership. Truthfully, we thought that we'd only allowed our membership to lapse for a year...maybe a year and a half, tops. However, when we dragged our tired, fat, lazy selves up to the gym counter to "renew" our membership, we were advised that we were no longer in the system, nor were we in their "old" files. The perfectly perky lady at the counter cheerfully advised us that they only keep files for three years. Seriously? Three years? It's been more than three years since we've dragged ourlazyselves to the gym?

Since our last foray into the world of exercise, a few things have changed. First, we had to fill out a new form and then instead of the old (and quite handy) key fob you used to swipe to check in, we were issued ID's - with pictures that they took with no warning. Kind of like a surprise mug shot that left me looking a little like this (only fatter):

Personally I suspect that they are going to use this picture to shame people like me into coming in and working out more often. I expect that I'll open the local newspaper someday and see my picture with a caption "have you seen this woman? Last spotted in the Dairy Queen drive thru - if found, please return to the treadmill."

Sigh. I tucked the card away hopefully to be ~~promptly lost~~ tragically misplaced and never to be seen again. Then, the hubs and I headed for the equipment room...where lots of shiny new equipment waited for us - ready to ~~torture us mercilessly~~ help us get ourselves into shape.

I headed for the treadmill because walking seemed easy enough and I was drawn to the fact that the new treadmills have personal televisions attached (short of hanging a piece of chocolate cake in front of me, tv is a pretty good way to keep me moving). The problem? I am gym equipment stupid and there were way too many buttons and way too few instructions on this machine.

<----See? Lots of shiny fun buttons to push.

Oh sure I figured out how to turn it on and even how to set one of the workout programs but the tv? That took a bit of effort. I finally figured out how to turn it on and change the channel (is it sad that I was wishing for a remote so I could just punch in the channel I wanted instead of having to scroll through and find it?) but the headphone jack still eludes me - thank God for closed captioning or I'd have no idea what the Food Network challenge was all about. Yes, I watched Food Network while walking on the treadmill - don't judge me!

Eventually, the machine and I were moving. Well, mostly it was me doing the moving but in an occasional burst of sadistic rage the treadmill would speed up or suddenly ramp up the incline so that I was forced to hold onto the bars for dear life. I began to both fear and loathe the random mood swings of my self inflicted torture but I reminded myself it was for my health, for the greater good - eventually I resorted to closing my eyes and thinking of England (which, btw, was absolutely useless).

Finally, I was nearing the end of my workout. I was watching the countdown timer the way ~~a fat woman~~ I watch the cookie timer. I was checking my pulse on the pulse bars, I was checking out how many calories I had burned (surprisingly little considering how much punishment that machine had doled out), etc. when the unthinkable happened. My hubs, the love of my life, came bouncing over after his workout on the stationary bike and decided he had to "check his pulse" on my machine - he reached across and put his hands on the bars tripping the emergency stop button on the treadmill and causing all my wonderful information - time, distance, calories burned - to be erased in what I can only assume is the exercise equipment equivalent of a panic attack.

Then he had the nerve to look at me and say "Why did you stop walking?"

We Hubs decided that, in light of the ~~homocidal rage~~ annoyed look in my eyes that it was best to call it a day and head home for dinner. The sad thing? We've got that membership so we'll be going back and I'm fairly certain I saw the elliptical giving me the evil eye.

I may die doing it, but mark my words I WILL figure that tv out!*

*Yes, I realize that I should be saying "I'll get in shape" or "I'll lose weight" but I think it's only fair to be realisticly honest and my money is on my ability to figure out the tv.

Five Essentials for the Slightly Neurotic, Sometimes Obsessive, But Almost Always Interesting Writer

2010-06-24T14:43:00.001-05:00

Mood: Is it Friday yet (that about sums it up this week)

On Tv: Nothing (I swear, occasionally I do turn it off!)

I recently reconnected with a high school classmate through Facebook and she asked me what she would need to be a writer - how she would go about starting the process. My first thought was: "why is she asking me?" Obviously, with one (truly awful) completed manuscript and several unfinished (but probably equally awful) manuscripts to my name, I'm hardly an expert on the subject.

But, in the name of old PTHS spirit I gave her question some thought. Of course, there were the obvious things: proper tools (pens, pencils, computer, etc.), connecting with a community of supportive writers (like the #amwriting and #amwritingparty crew over on Twitter) and a good story idea with an excellent hook (duh).

Then, I thought deeper. What is it, aside from the obvious, that I really need as a writer?

Rhonda's Five Essentials for the Slightly Neurotic, Sometimes Obsessive, But Almost Always Interesting Writer

1. You will need a vice. I don't care what it is but it needs to be bad for you (although, ideally it won't kill you) and it needs to be something easily accessible.

For many writers this takes the form of a beverage of some sort. Coffee, wine (although the raging alcoholic writer is so 1920s so be careful here) and Diet Coke are some favorites but anything will do really, except water. Water is not a vice - it is a vile liquid that nutritionists and doctors insist we drink for our health (and to keep living, blah, blah, blah).

For other writers, like me, this takes the form of food. Now, I'm not talking about bean sprouts and celery sticks here. I'm talking real writing stress food full of everything that Dr. Oz tells you not to eat. Chocolate, ice cream, cupcakes, etc. are all winners in this category.

2. You will need distractions. Trust me. There will be times when you sit down at the computer and the blank page and flashing cursor are mercilessly mocking you. Are you just going to sit there and take that? No. You have better things to do than just stare at that flashing little bastard!
I personally recommend Facebook (hello? Cyber stalking your friends and family, playing endless rounds of mindless games all without leaving the comfort of your computer - what could be better?) , Twitter (for when Facebook is too boring) and a blog (even though I'm possibly the world's most inconsistent blogger). I've also been told that dogs and cats serve this need quite nicely as well - I cannot attest to this personally as our apartment managers are big meanies and won't let us have any pets! (and yes I'm pouting!)

3.) You will need a supportive spouse or significant other who will understand that sometimes the world you're living in isn't, well, exactly real. Therefore, they should be able to jump easily between discussing grocery shopping and the best dagger to kill an evil werewolf without missing a step and should be at ease spending dinner discussing the adventures of your main character (brownie points if they refrain from reminding you that your main character isn't a real person - because your main character totally doesn't know that he/she isn't real and you don't want to hurt his/her feelings).

4.) You will need an understanding employer. Ideally writing would be done around the writer's "real" life but this doesn't always happen. Sometimes you'll find yourself madly writing at 3:00 am because you're on a roll (which leads to the occasional 'falling asleep at your desk' incident the next day) and sometimes you'll be so blocked that the words won't come - until 2:00 pm on some random Thursday afternoon (when you'll use up your entire supply of post-it notes trying to capture the brilliance that is just pouring from your artiste type brain).

5.) You will need become comfortable with the fact that some of the things you're going to do as a writer? Are going to make you look downright weird. You may find yourself balancing a dagger in your hand, feeling the weight of it, trying to memorize the texture and feel of the metal and then asking your husband if he thinks it's both big enough to kill someone and small enough to be concealed (don't be surprised when the old lady at the booth next to you suddenly turns and runs in the opposite direction). Or, you may find yourself staring unashamedly at a handsome young man in the food court because he looks exactly like you envision your main character to look (and you will even toy with the idea of asking to take his picture - hopefully someone will stop you before the poor kid calls mall security).

*Ahem* Not that these things have happened to me personally *looks around innocently*.

Luckily, society has long accepted the stereotype of the eccentric artist so just have someone follow you around giving everyone in your path a sympathetic look and a whispered "she's a writer" as an explanation for your obvious insanity.
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There it is. The top things that I think every aspiring writer should know about what they need to survive this crazy endeavour we call writing.

So, what is on your absolutely essential list?

Sunday - The Day of Rest?

2010-06-13T19:26:00.003-05:00

Mood: Stressed (Really? Murphy and his law are having too much fun with my day!)

On TV: Food Network Challenge (Toy Story 3 cakes - am I the only one that didn't like the Toy Story movies?)

~~The hubs and~~ I were awakened this morning by the unsettling sound of the airconditioner motor dying an early and unnatural death. Since the hubs was ~~snoring like a saw~~ sleepy peacefully, I decided to get up and investigate. Luckily it turns out that the airconditioner wasn't exactly dying - but it was completely frozen over. Well played heat and humidity. Well played.

Hubs and I dealt with the frozen compressor and then decided that we hadn't had quite enough home improvement type projects so we headed out to Wal-Mart where we bought a much needed new bookshelf. Why was it much needed? Well, this is my *old* "big" bookshelf:

As you can see, it's well more than overloaded with books. I also have a ~~smaller~~ tiny bookshelf that is just as packed with books AND I also had the leaning tower of books. Alas, I neglected to take a picture of the leaning tower of books but it was a tower of books on the floor next to my bed that had grown so large that it was, you guessed it, leaning (see how clever I am with the naming things thing? If I had a baby, I'd probably name it "baby" - so yes, it is a good thing that the hubs has had the big snip).

Anyway, two hours, several curse words (seriously? The instructions were written in Spanish with pictures in Swahili), a few smashed thumbs and many false starts later, we ended up with this:

Just imagine all those books stacked up in a tower with no home to call their own. *sniff* Now they're properly shelved and happy! Oh, and because no bookshelf is complete without it:

Also, I totally have empty space on these shelves - you know what that means??? Hello B&N!!!

Requiem for a Laptop...

2010-06-11T16:16:00.000-05:00

Mood: Tired (it was a long week but it's finally FRIDAY!!!)

On TV: Judge Joe Brown (I love that people are willing to put theirstupidselves out on tv like this for my entertainment)

Dear bloggie friends, it is with great sadness that I announce that I have come to the end of an era. *sniff* For the last three years, my laptop has been my constant companion. She has allowed me to keep up (or not) with my blogging and my writing. She allowed me a gateway to the idea of Twitter and Facebook. She bears scars from my watch hitting her below the keyboard, spots on her keys from the occasional soda spray and is fully accessorized with a matching purple pendrive and carrying case.

However, recently she had some issues with overheating. The hubs worked on her, he added new heat grease to her processor and I restored her operating system. We thought we'd saved her and, in a way, we did - but - she's not quite her old self anymore. She's kind of like someone's beloved old auntie who isn't always quite as sharp or fast as she used to be. She randomly shuts down programs as I'm using them and reboots herself quite often when she should be just putting herself into sleep or hibernate mode. No amount of setting changes seem to rectify the situation.

Finally the hubs decided that, since we were getting a new desktop for him (lightning strike) that we would get a new laptop for me. I should be happy (the cost aside) but I'm not. I'm in mourning for my current laptop. She was a gift from the hubs - his way of saying "I have faith in your ability to write and I'm willing to provide you with the proper tools to do it". She's pretty and purple with flowers and I super sparkly heart her...even if she doesn't work as quickly or reliably as she used to.

However, hubs is right. I can't depend on her not to crash in the middle of a blog post or a marathon writing session so she needs to be retired to "light duty". We will use her as a back up/ travel laptop. She will get to enjoy her retirement by accompanying us on trips, seeing different places and enjoying making connections with different networks where ever we go.

She will always be my first laptop love. Maybe I'm weird for having such an attachment to my laptop or maybe it's a writer thing but I'm having issues letting her go. Even now, with my new laptop is sitting on the table, still in the box, I chose to post this one last blog post from my old friend.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

P.S. My trusty old laptop has crashed this blog post at least 3 times already. I think she's trying to make the transition a bit easier for me.

I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore...

2010-06-06T15:50:00.000-05:00

Mood: Grateful (that all my family is safe after last night's tornado touch downs), overwhelmed (by the amount of damage that was done) and hopeful (that the injured are well on the road to recovery).

On Tv: Judge Judy (Nothing like a cranky judge to take your mind off of reality)

As some of my Twitter peeps already know we had some more than interesting weather travel through our area last night. Tornado warnings (yes, plural) were issued, tornadoes were sighted, tornadoes touched down and stayed on the ground for more than 20 miles through two towns.

Luckily, the worst of it just missed us. The town where some of my family lives was not so lucky. The tornado, as tornadoes go, was a relatively small one. An EF2 on a scale that goes up to EF5. However, even this "small" tornado did an amazing amount of damage. Here are a few pics we managed to snap this morning.

Keep in mind that we were not able to get anywhere near the areas of severe damage - these were just the neighborhoods/areas with "minor" tornado damage.

Here's a shot of some healthy trees that were knocked over and some were completely uprooted.

And here's another shot of an uprooted tree:

The classic tornado shot - a piece of a nearby metal silo rammed through a power pole.

A stop sign in a corn field. We have no idea where the sign came from. The nearest corners still had theirs (bent, but still intact).

And finally, a brand new barn building...thankfully the house escaped any major damage. Unfortunately, my aunt's family farm wasn't quite so lucky.

YA? Why?

2010-05-25T22:47:00.000-05:00

Status: Meh (long day at work but had an amazing dinner - life evens itself out)

On tv: World's Dumbest Criminals (seriously, even I had no idea that there was this much stupid running around)

We spent last weekend attending my step-daughter's high school graduation. A six hour road trip just to get there, tons of gifts, lots of hugs and, of course, plenty of tears later I'm proud to say that the hubs and I are now the parents of a high school graduate.

As we watched our precious little girl cruising down the aisle while a rock version of Pomp and Circumstance blasted from the PA system (seriously? how kick ass is that?), I noticed that she was crying. Not just regular crying but full on snotty nosed, wracking sobs crying. Really? Crying?

<---- Oh, yes, there was sobbing.

I watched her collect her diploma and I couldn't help but think back to my own high school graduation. There had been no tears from me on that night. I'd walked through my entire four years of high school with a cosmic kick me sign taped to the back of my hand me down K-Mart clothing and, on graduation day, I was so incredibly happy to be done that I couldn't wait to get my diploma in my hand and leave my high school experience behind me forever.

Which leaves me wondering why I'm drawn to writing YA novels...it's not like I'm trying to relive my high school glory days because, let me assure you, I had none. I had humiliating days, awkward days, lonely days, ugly days, and hurt filled days but definitely no glory days. After that kind of experience, you'd think the last place I'd want to revisit, even in fiction, would be high school. Yet, that's where I often find myself when I sit down to write.

I open a word document to find myself once again navigating the uncomfortable territory of high school hallways, lunchroom table seating politics and the horrors of the girls locker room during gym class. *shudder* Why? Really, why would I want to do that? Maybe it's like being a ghost stuck in an endless loop reliving your own murder over and over again until your murder is avenged. Only in my case it's more like being an awkward teenager reliving the moment when I got stung by a bee - on my ass- in the middle of gym class or the day that I slipped and fell, butt naked, coming out of the shower in the girl's locker room? I mean, it's practically the same thing, right? Hell, I think I would have preferred dropping dead over laying there on the cold tile floor of the locker room while all the cool, pretty girls laughed at me (okay, I totally would have probably laughed at me too, but still...).

As I sat through that hot, neverending ceremony (was the 20 minute slide show really necessary?), I realized that I write YA because teenagers can be mature and funny, smart and naive, hopeful and angsty all at the same time. They have the future wide open ahead of them and think that they've lived it all and have all the answers. Basically, they can be anything and everything - often all in the same day (if they're teenage girls, they can run the full gamut in less than 10 minutes). They're fun and interesting if you don't have to live with them.

Here's our graduate! It's all official, the sobs are gone, the smiles have appeared and may her future be just as bright and filled with joy as she is!

Also? If a character who vaguely resembles one of the cool, pretty clique of girls who tormented me during high school just happens to fall, butt naked, coming out of the girls shower in one of my novels? It's totally a coincidence. I swear.

Dan Quayle Was Here?

2010-05-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

Status: Crazy stressed (lots going on, not enough time or sanity to go around)

On tv: Addicted (Another intervention type show - wondering if my slight obsession with reality tv could be considered an addiction. Maybe I need an intervention?)

The hubs took me out to dinner tonight because, well, I was having a bad day and ~~he knew that if I didn't feel like cooking, dinner prep would fall to him~~ he loves me and wanted to pamper me. It was steak night at the restaurant that he chose - so YAY!! Sorry, but I seriously loves me some steak! :)

However, when we sat down at the table and I glanced at the "special" steak menu, I felt my eye start to twitch. The special menu listed the different types of steaks one might order along with the note that each meal came complete with a salad, a dessert and my choice of POTATOE.

Really? You run a restaurant and you don't know how to spell "potato"? *sigh* I tried to ignore it. I tried to convince myself it didn't matter if the word was spelled wrong but really, it does matter. I couldn't sit there and eat at a table where the little standing menu proclaimed that I could have a potatoe.

So, I did what any self respecting writer would do. I pulled my favorite pen out of my purse, removed the paper insert and scribbled out the "e" at the end of the word. Finally all was right in my world and I could enjoy my dinner.

Tomorrow, I'm totally fixing the sign outside the local market advertising the fact that they "except" debit cards.

I seriously suspect my hubs has the local insane asylum on speed dial.

Some (More or Less) Helpful Advice for Writers

2010-05-04T16:57:00.001-05:00

Status: Worn Out - I think that this week may have already lasted about a month.

On Tv: The Maury Show - I'm no genius but I'm betting it's going to be about someone who doesn't know who her baby's daddy is.

It seems that there's been a lot of discussion around the writerly interwebs lately about our "on-line presence" as writers. How we should brand ourselves, how we should present ourselves and whether we should post about our writing or discuss the publishing business. ACK!!!!

At first? I'll be honest, I blew it off. I was all "I'm like Popeye!" I am who I am, right? Or am I? After reading one too many articles I started to worry about what I was saying and how I was presenting myself. Suddenly I was afraid that I was coming across too...angry (road rage) or judgemental (weird neighbors) and just plain old self centered and intolerant (Dealing with the public).

Suddenly it was like I was back in high school worried about wearing the wrong clothes (which I totally did - we were poor, my clothes were K-Mart hand me downs)* or sitting at the wrong table at lunch (the cool kids don't want to sit next to the poor, K-Mart hand me down wearing nerd). I would start a blog post and delete it just as quickly because I was certain I wouldn't be presenting my writer self in the best light.

Then, today I read another "top ten tips for authors" article - this time giving advice for television interviews and public appearances. One of the first things on the list? The tv adds pounds so dress to hide yours. The article also went on to say that it wouldn't be out of line to consider minor cosmetic procedures like botox or collagen injections. Seriously? WTF? BOTOX????

It was then that I realized just how crazy some of this advice really is. Sure, some of it is great. Some of it is great for some writers. However. Some of it? Is.total.crapola. So, I came up with my own list of helpful advice for authors (aspiring or otherwise).

1.) Write the way you want to write. Plan, outline or just fly by the seat of your pants. Edit as you go, or edit at the end. Whatever works for you because writing is an art and art is in the journey and the beauty of the art is appreciated differently by different people. That's okay!

2.) Be who you are...whatever that means. For me it means that sometimes I'm cranky, intolerant and just plain in a bad mood. It also means that sometimes I'm kind, compassionate, caring and empathetic. If someone chooses to judge me based on one or two blog posts? There's nothing I can do about that but I'd rather have someone dislike me for who I am than like me for who I'm pretending to be.

3.) Don't worry so much about what people think of the way you look. I'm fat and no amount of clothing is going to hide that. I've also got gray hair, laugh lines, and vampire pale skin. But you know what? That's okay because it's part of who I am. If I want to lose weight, cover my gray or get botox because I think it will make me feel better about myself? Then fine. But I'm not going to do it to impress someone who more than likely doesn't care about how I look anyway. Seriously...when was the last time you looked at an author interview and thought "gee, I'd love to read her books but she's just too fat and wrinkly to possibly write good fiction."

Remember, chances are you're not perfect but there is every chance that you are perfectly and uniquely you!

4.) Finally, some advice specifically for women: Buy.a.tiara. Seriously. Because writer girls in tiaras just rock!

So, there you have it...my very best writerly advice. Take it for what it's worth, throw out the rest and, as I've said before, embrace your inner awesome!

* The hand me downs? Were often from my grandmother. If you think wearing your grandmother's hand me down K-Mart clothes doesn't make you the most popular girl in school then you just didn't know what you were missing!

Epic Blogger Type Contest

2010-04-26T22:29:00.000-05:00

Status: Tired (is 10:00 pm too late for a nap?)

On tv: The Simpsons (Classic!)

Guess what's going on in the interwebs? Go on, guess. Give up????

Alright then, I'll just tell you. In honor of reaching 300 bloggie type stalker people Carol over at Carol's Prints is hosting an epically epic contest. Seriously. You can even dance for more chances to win. That's right. I said dance. On the interwebs. For prizes. Kind of like Dancing With the Stars only without the stars part. The prizes are totally incredible so it might be worth the public humiliation to up your chances to win. For someone else I mean. Not necessarily me. No one needs to see me dance.

*Ahem* Anyway you should totally head over to Carol's blog and enter her contest because even if you don't win, she's a totally awesome blogger, writer and internet friend so it's a win/win!

Jury Duty Again? Really?

2010-04-23T21:57:00.000-05:00

Mood: Happy (My brother is home for keeps from the USAF! The best words ever? Honorable Discharge! Well, that and free chocolate.)

What I'm Watching: The Soup (All the celebrity crap I didn't have time to keep up with through the week. What could be better?)

I? Am officially the local government's biotch. For the second time in as many years I've been summoned for jury duty. This time it's for grand jury duty which means I'm on deck for 18 months. That's eight.teen months! Luckily we only meet when necessary so hopefully it won't be an every week thing but knowing my luck every single felon in the entire county will choose this as the perfect time to commit a crime.

On the plus side, I'm getting a good look at how the court systems around here work so if I ever decide to branch out and write a book about a fat, 30 something year old woman who totally loses her mind after being called up for jury duty one too many times...well, I'm totally covered.

Enter The Duck-Man

2010-04-11T22:32:00.000-05:00

Mood: Happy (I've had a great weekend w/ the hubs enjoying the nice spring weather!)

What I'm Watching: Kirstie Alley's Big Life (Seriously? I think I need a reality TV intervention but watching Kirstie Alley getting a Twitter intervention is just too funny!)

If you were a pre-teen/teen in the 80's then there's little doubt that you were well aquainted with phenomenon that was the John Hughes teenage movie. The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off - they're all absolutely amazing and if you were born after the 80's and haven't yet seen them, you should run right out to your local video store and rent them. If you were a teen in the 80's and you haven't seen them? What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Anyway, while they're all great, what's been sticking in the back of my mind for the last few days is the Mollie Ringwald/Jon Cryer classic "Pretty In Pink".

For those of you heathens who are unfamiliar with the magical genius that is "Pretty In Pink", the movie is a basic love triangle (but with a kick ass 80's sound track and hello? Jon Cryer). Mollie Ringwald plays Andie - a poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks who is constantly accompanied (and semi-stalked) by her friend Duckie (played brilliantly by Jon Cryer) who is totally and utterly in love with her. Then, of course, what teenage drama would be complete withouat the totally cool, completely awesome, popular and rich guy - in this case we have Blane (played by Andrew McCarthy).

At the end of the movie, Andie ends up with Blane. Blane. Yes, I know I totally just gave away the ending of the movie - too damn bad, you've had over 20 years to watch it!

Ahem, anyway, Andie ends up with Blane but every woman I know, knows that she totally should have ended up with Duckie. Duckie might not have been as rich or classically handsome as Blane but the Duck Man was totally there for her no matter what. He was even gracious in defeat - if being with Blane was going to make Andie happy? Duckie was totally willing to step aside and let her be happy with Blane.

*Sigh* How romantic right? So how could she not have ended up with Duckie? The truth is that, orginally, Andie did end up with Duckie but that ending didn't play well in front of test audiences. They wanted Andie to end up with Blane so the ending was changed because it was thought it would "play better" for the film audience.

So I know you're asking yourself "what does this have to do with anything?" Possibly nothing and possibly everything. Like many writers I write and I worry that what I write isn't good enough. I plot and I worry that the plots won't make sense to the reader - that they won't "get it". I think about the query process and I get knots in my stomach because I know that the process will bring with it tons of rejection.

But really, does any of that matter? I mean, sure, it would be great if every agent, reader and critic totally loved everything I write but ultimately the stories are mine. Taking constructive criticism is a necessary part of the writing process but pleasing everyone along the path is not. I totally need to remember that sometimes? A girl needs to end up with her Duckie no matter what the test audiences think!

Finding Your Fun and Embracing Your Awesome!

2010-03-31T21:16:00.000-05:00

Mood: Meh (It's been a long week...a very long week, but this weekend is a three day holiday weekend so things are looking up.)

What I'm Watchin?g: It's the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown (Seriously, what a classic and Woodstock? Totally has a happening pad!)

When I was a little kid with lopsided ponytails and really bad 70's polyester clothing I decided that when I grew up I wanted to be the gas station attendant who checked the oil, pumped the gas and, best of all, washed the windows with the super cool squeegee. Why? Because it just looked like fun. The guy was always smiling, always whistling and, besides, hello? The squeegee!

I never considered whether I would make enough money to support myself, whether people would look down on me for working at a gas station, whether I'd look good in that blue and white striped shirt with my name embroidered on it or whether it was a job that I would be good at...I wanted to do it because it looked like it would be fun.

Writing started out in much the same way. It was a fun and creative way to entertain myself. I wrote fantastically horrible stories that I was just sure were pure literary genius and I was happy. At some point, though, I allowed some of the fun to be sucked out of the writing experience. I allowed people to tell me that I shouldn't or couldn't write - that it was silly and a waste of time. I allowed myself to internalize those messages and began to doubt everything about my writing. Eventually I decided it would be easier if I just kept my writing to myself.

I was so scared someone would find out about my shameful secret that I even hid it from the hubs. When he moved in with me I actually threw out several notebooks filled with years worth of notes, story starters, ideas, etc. because I was so afraid that he'd find it and think that I was stupid or silly or whatever other horrible thing that I was afraid of. Yes, I realize now just how stupid that was (stupid, stupid, stupid)* because, the hubs is incredibly supportive and he nearly cried when I confessed that I'd tossed out so much of my work because I didn't want him to think I was stupid for wanting to write.

Now, I'm working on rediscovering the 'fun' in my writing and trying to learn to embrace my inner awesome. After all, writers are completely awesome people - we get to create and manipulate worlds using nothing more than our imaginations and simple words - what could be cooler than that? Want to learn more about your inner awesome? Check out Tawna Fenske's blog post about it. Really. Do it. Now!

So while I may not have a squeegee or a shirt with my name on it, I've got a totally cool laptop and my livescribe pen? Is just made of awesome!

What about you? Have you found your fun and embraced your inner awesome?

*slapping self on forehead kind of stupid

My Laptop, Myself..

2010-03-28T20:53:00.006-05:00

Mood: Frustrated (this has been a very long weekend)

What I'm Watching: The Simpsons (Homer in the Holy Land? Classic)

This? Is my computer. Well, not my computer but one exactly like mine. She's purple with pretty flowers and very girlie. She's the first new laptop that I've ever had and she's all mine! I seriously love my laptop and, as a writer, I depend on her to do my job. I need her.

So I was understandably upset when she started freezing and locking up on Friday night. I tried all the standard stuff...checking for viruses and spyware but nothing seemed to appease her.

Luckily the hubs is a computer technician so he did some exploratory surgery on her and discovered that there was a lack of proper heat grease stuff (technical term) on her processor and this was causing her to have some wicked hot flashes which would cause her to overheat and lock up.

So, we cracked her open and did some more intensive surgery to replace the heat grease stuff. Just in case you were wondering? It looked something like this:

After surgery the overheating issues were resolved but there were some long lasting issues with her operating system. After all the trauma she'd endured many of her files had become corrupt and her operating system was no longer fully functional.

We had no other option but to pull the plug and start over. I had to wipe her hard drive, reinstall windows and all of her software. Which left me looking a lot like this (only fatter) for the entire weekend:

After hours of stress, worry and just plain old frustration, my pretty purple computer is happily recovered from her traumatic experience and I? Am about a pint of Hagan Daaz Butter Pecan ice cream away from being sufficiently drugged with enough fat and sugar to not care about my wasted weekend.

Randomness on a Wednesday

2010-03-24T22:22:00.001-05:00

Mood: Relieved (had to go to the doctor earlier and I have major white coat syndrome...which basically mean that I'm a big old chicken who is terrified of doctors)

What I'm Watching: Mythbusters (turns out that my mom was right. Duct tape really can be used to fix just about anything)

I've been a major blog slacker lately so I thought I'd just do a quick catch up with some random bloggy type thoughts

The healthcare bill. Sigh. Love it. Hate it. Whatever. But let's stop calling names and acting like it's either the best thing since sliced bread or the end of the world as we know it. Congressmen and women? I'm totally looking at you here too. You set the tone for the country and if you act like a bunch of petulant children how can you expect the nation as a whole to work together? Seriously considering sending my mother to Washington to put them all in time out until they get their act together!

Vice President Biden dropped the *f-bomb* The big one. The F--- word. It's probably wrong that I giggled when he did it but it kind of reminded me of the time I caught my very demure, very proper grandmother flashing the finger at someone who cut me off when I was driving her to her doctor appointment. Besides, tell me that it didn't remind you of this moment:

I discovered that I'm not only sensitive to aspertame but also to splenda. Is it so difficult to develop an artificial sweetener that is calorie free, tastes like sugar and that doesn't make me feel like there's a gremlin trying to claw its way out of my stomach? I didn't think so. Seriously. Get to work food type scientists!

People find my blog by searching the most bizarre things..."Red Lobster Staff", "Olympic sized" and "I'm looking for a filled out conference form" are a few of my favorites. My blog is obviously a bit too random.

I suspect that my 7 year old nephew may watch a little too much Food Network as evidenced by his recent request "I'd like some red wine with a side of couscous, please."

I had another random point here...really I did. I've thought of it no less than four times but each time I've managed to forget it as soon as it popped into my head. So, obviously a final thought would be that my medication severely interferes with my short term memory function.

Writer's Block? Heck Yeah!

2010-03-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

Mood: Worn Out (this week has easily lasted a month at least)

What I'm Watching: The World's Dumbest Partiers (This is totally made of win!)

There are some writers who will tell you that writer's block doesn't exist...that it's a myth like the LochNess Monster or Brittney Spears grip on reality. Please be aware that these people are liars...as in the 'pants on fire' variety (please keep the fire extinguishers handy).

If you are a writer, there will almost certainly come a moment in your career when you find yourself staring at the flashing cursor with no idea what to write next. This? Is writer's block. It may only last 10 minutes but for those ten minutes you were unsure. You didn't know what was going to come next. You were blocked.

Personally, my writer's block develops in stages:

Stage 1: Slightly annoyed but not yet worried. Maybe I'll check my e-mail, play a few (hundred) games of solitaire on Facebook, catch up with my blogging and hang out on Twitter for a while. Certainly my writerly mo-jo will return quickly enough...I just need a break.

*Luckily, most writer's block is resolved in stage 1*

Stage 2: Frustrated but determined. After ~~wasting three hours goofing off on the internet~~ spending some much needed time away from my work in progress, I return only to find that the creative side of my brain is still on strike. Of course, I probably just need to shake things up a bit. Maybe take a small nap to recharge my batteries or get up and move around a bit to ~~stir the creative juices~~ stop self from pulling hair out as frustration mounts.

*The good news? I tend to catch up on a lot of neglected housework during stage 2. This is also a good time to give yourself a manicure.*

Stage 3: Pure frustration. This is the point when I start cursing at the stupid flashing little cursor. Smug little bastard. I get seriously cranky as I attempt to drag anything even remotely resembling a good idea from the recesses of my brain.

*This is the time when I start to doubt my ability to even write my own name and begin to think I should have taken up something less frustrating...like hostage negotiation.*

Stage 4: Complete and utter desperation. This stage brings with it tons of self pity with a generous helping of whining and just general pissyness on my part. At this point I start self-medicating with copious amounts of chocolate and start to understand why so many writers ended up either crazy or alcoholic.

*Successfully navigating this stage usually involves gaining a few pounds (dark chocolate may be good for you but it's not calorie free) and the ability to survive a few minor mental breakdowns*

Stage 5: Complete meltdown. Thankfully, I've never made it to this stage in the writer's block process although I've found myself dangerously close a time or two. This is the point where complete and utter destruction is the only way to fully express the true level of frustration experienced by a writer when the words just won't come.

*This? Might be why I'm so opposed to firearms in our home.*

Those who say that writer's block doesn't exist tend to advise that you should just sit and write. No.matter.what. I say "baloney"! Sitting in the chair, staring at an empty screen for hours on end or writing crap just to be writing is going to drive me directly to stage 5 no matter how much chocolate I have on hand. For me, it's better that I step back and take some time to let the story brew a bit before diving back in. It minimizes my frustration and keeps me from doing permanent damage to my beloved laptop (she's purple with flowers...I really don't want to hurt her).

Merrie Monday!

2010-03-15T22:25:00.000-05:00

Mood: Tired (stupid time change)

What I'm Watching: (Operation Repo - Seriously? You know if you haven't made your car payment...no judgement, everyone has hard times, but why fuss and fight over it?)

Once again Monday has reared it's ugly head and to add to the fun? We have the beginning of Daylight Saving Time to add a certain level of annoying exhaustion to the day. However, the day has not been without it's perks....in the spirit of Merrie Monday Blogginess:

1.) I got my signed copy of "Flirting With Disaster" by the super fab Rhonda Stapleton! In addition, she slipped in a matching bookmark!! Really, it's just awesome. :)

2.) Okay, so there's really not another Merrie Monday perk in my life to report so I'll just throw this in for your general amusement:

For the record: Math always makes me feel the exact same way!

And, because I'm missing my maltese puppy who crossed the rainbow bridge many years ago:

Life With a Mad Scientist

2010-03-11T23:02:00.001-06:00

Mood: Out of Sorts (I assure you, this is a mood...and it's not exactly pleasant)

What I'm Watching: The Smoking Gun Presents The World's Dumbest...(How did I not know about this show before? Seriously? It's just made of so much epic fail that it's a complete win!!)

I've blogged before about the hubs and his obsession with electronics. While I'm ~~hard at work on my current work in progress~~ goofing off on the interwebs he's designing and building his own circuit boards.

This is the type of stuff he gets up to...he starts with a plain copper board and then does something like this:

Most of the time I don't pay much attention to what he's doing because, frankly, when he starts talking about circuits and transistors and diodes his voice suddenly sounds like the adults in the Charlie Brown cartoons and I have no idea what language he's actually speaking.

However, tonight I've been sitting here at the computer, vaguely frustrated with the way my wip is going (or not going) and I've found myself watching the hubs putting the finishing touches on his latest project. He's put all the pieces together and is now in the "testing" phase...just checking that everything works the way it's supposed to and I find myself ~~slightly envious~~ completely green-faced jealous of him. He plugs something in and he knows immediately if it works or not. If it does, great. If not, he does some testing and knows exactly what needs to be done to make it work.

As a writer, I don't have that kind of assurance. I try to craft a story that will work but the truth is I won't ever have a definitive test that tells me whether or not I've been successful and that? Just sucks! What I wouldn't give for a green light to flash and tell me "hey, this story arc? It's totally working" or a light that flashes to tell me I've got issues with character development, etc. Sigh.

Merrie Monday...Just Made of Awesome!!!

2010-03-08T22:12:00.000-06:00

Mood: Excited (really, super excited!)

What I'm Watching: TMZ (have to catch up on my celeb gossip!)

Monday or not, today was just made of win. I mean like epic win!!!

First, I logged on to my Twitter account this morning to find a message from Rhonda Stapleton, super cool author of "Stupid Cupid" and all around awesome blogger, telling me I'd won her "Flirting With Disaster" contest. My prizes? A signed copy of Flirting With Disaster (which I totally wanted because I've read Stupid Cupid and can't wait to read the next installment) and, as if that weren't enough, I'm lucky enough to get a $50 gift card to the book store of my choice (Barnes and Noble in case anyone is wondering). So, I'm all totally Squeeeeeeeeee!!!!! I never win anything and this is made of nothing but amazing win!!

Then, another amazing gift in the form of my new little neice!!!! Finally, after literally a month of labor, the doctor finally conceeded and broke my sister's water. An hour later? We had a brand new addition to our family.

Happy Birthday Madelyn Sue!!! She weighed 7 lbs 2 ozs and was 18 inches long. Mom and baby are both doing well.

In Like a Lamb...

2010-03-06T22:08:00.000-06:00

Mood: Expectant (my sis is still in labor. Yes, still! But she is going to be "induced" at the beginning of this week..."induced" meaning that the docs will help move things along so that I can finally meet my new little neice or nephew).

What I'm Watching: Lock-up Raw (These are some seriously screwed up criminals they're talking to this time around...really....*shudder*)

It's March and Mother Nature is finally showing some signs of letting go of the stranglehold of winter. Today the temps topped 50°. 50°!!!! Cue the singing birds and the budding flowers. The hubs and I were drawn outside to soak up the promise of spring and, in the time honored tradition of people who live in snowy areas, we decided to take advantage of the first nice day to wash months of winter residue off of our car. For those of you who aren't familiar with the "winter residue" phenomenon, I present you with exhibit A:

This isn't my vehicle but this is pretty much what mine looked like so you can totally see why I wanted to make a trip to the local car wash, right?

So, the hubs and I headed out to the car wash but when we got there we found that the debit card taking machine (technical name) was out of order. This was a source of some frustration as the hubs and I rarely (never) carry cash. But, it was a beautiful day and we had nothing better to do so we schlepped over to the ATM at the local bank branch to get some cash to wash the car. Sitting in line at the drive up ATM, we had some discussion over just how much cash we should withdraw and we decided on $20.00 because this would pay for the car wash and give us a few dollars to grab a soda or something later in the day (blue raspberry icee's...score!)

This seemed like a very sensible idea...until we got back to the car wash and realized that the car wash doesn't take $20's...it only takes $5's or $1's. Le Sigh. There was a Dairy Queen across the road where we could probably get change but they don't just "make" change...we had to purchase something. Normally this would not be an issue but we'd just eaten a large breakfast and even I, the ice cream queen, could not even contemplate eating ice cream (this may very well be the first, last and only time I ever even think that sentence).

At that point the car wash was no longer just something we wanted to do...it was a quest of honor. ~~Two rational, reasonably intelligent adults~~ The hubs and I should be able to figure out a way to run a single car through an automatic car wash without involving cursing, head banging or calling out the national guard.

Fortunately, I had a flash of inspiration...why not run into the Dairy Queen and buy a gift card? Then, we can get change and we can have ice cream later. Win-win, right?!? That? Is why sometimes I'm just all kinds of rock star awesome!

So now my car is all sparkles and shine and I've got a DQ gift card tucked away so I'm going to call it a win.

Merrie Monday!

2010-03-02T00:12:00.001-06:00

Mood: Frustrated (had a fantastically brilliant blog post all written out and my computer/blogger decided to wig and now? Brilliant post is no more)

What I'm Watching: Are You Being Served? (Are you free Mr. Humphries?)

Since Blogger, my computer and the fates called Monday conspired against me and my bloggery efforts tonight, and since I'm too tired to even begin to attempt to recreate anything remotely blog-worthy, I'm just going to start "Merrie Monday"!

That's right, every week Monday, my old nemesis, comes around to play havoc with my life. It drags me out of my bed at the crack of dawn, immediately erasing the relaxation of the weekend with an ice cold dousing of work week stress. But today? Today I claim a small bit of Monday for me and for every other person who is being unwillingly dragged from their lazy weekends into the hectic work week.

We need giggles, we need laughter, we need some fun!!! :) So, without further ado, I bring you some Merrie Monday Moments for your enjoyment!

My favorite comedian: Gabriel Iglesias...he's freaking hilarious! :)

For my writer type friends...admit it, it's kind of funny!

What's Wrong With Being a "Loser"???

2010-02-25T22:47:00.000-06:00

Mood: Cranky (I get that way when I'm sick)

What I'm Watching: Olympics (specifically, I'm sitting through Nordic combined because the announcer guy keeps promising me figure skating. He's a freaking liar and yet I keep hoping...epic fail!)

WoooHooo!!! I got new blog bling! :) Carol over at Carol's Prints has graciously given me another sparkly blog award and we all know how much I love sparkly blog awards...so, squueeeeee!!!!

Carol is an absolutely amazingly funny, friendly and creative chickie. If you're not following her, you totally should be. Seriously. Now. (and I totally would have said that even if she hadn't given me an award...it just would have been a bit more awkward and stalker like.)

It's no secret that I've been spending most of my time over the last couple of weeks watching the Olympics. I've tweeted about it, blogged about it and shamefully neglected my writing to watch hours of skiing, skating and ~~hockey.~~ Okay, not hockey. I just really, really don't like hockey.*

So it's probably no surprise that I was watching the Olympics when I read that Carol had given me this latest blogging award and I was all "Sqqquuuuueeeeee!!! Carol's given me some new blog bling...how awesome am I?" But then I look up at the television screen and I see some guy getting a gold medal for skiing faster than anyone elese in the world and I was all "Wow. He's got an Olympic gold medal and I'm probably not that awesome after all."

Then I started really thinking about the Olympics and the medals and I started wondering why we don't ever see, say, the guy in 11th place celebrating like it's the time of his life? I mean, sure, he didn't win the gold but heck, he's at the Olympics and he's #11 out of all the people in his sport. In the world. When you think about it 11 is pretty kick ass! Heck, #20 is pretty amazing and #25 is no slouch either.

If I had a book on the New York Times Best Seller list at #11 I'd be out of my mind excited. There would be celebrating, there would be jumping up and down, heck, there might even be dancing! I wouldn't be fussing about not being in first place (Evgeni Plushenko? I'm totally looking at you here), I'd be too busy celebrating my success at #11.

So, maybe I don't have a gold medal, or even a silver or a bronze, but I've got a super cool awesome piece of new blog bling and that is pretty darn awesome!!! Maybe even dance worthy!

*My apologies to my Canadian friends.

Incompetence is NOT An Art Form!

2010-02-20T16:17:00.001-06:00

Mood: Frustrated (seriously. frustrated)

What I'm Watching: The Olympics (cross country skiing anyone?)

I'm grateful that I'm lucky enough to have insurance. Really. I am. For many years I wasn't so lucky. I worked hard but worked for places that didn't offer insurance and I couldn't afford to get any on my own. A major surgery and a bill to the tune of $30,000 makes one extremely grateful for a job where insurance is provided.*

BUT. (and you knew there had to be a but, right?) Is it really necessary for insurance companies to raise incompetence to an art form? For example, last year I had some symptoms that required some further investigation in the form of a medical procedure. After the procedure was completed, I received a letter from the insurance company asking for more information b/c they were concerned that the procedure was for a pre-existing condition. Huh? So, I called the insurance co. and asked some questions. The conversation went like this (cliff notes):

Me: I have a note here asking about pre-existing conditions associated w/ this procedure but it only gives me a code for the condition. What does the code mean?
Ins. Rep: Well, I can't tell you that because it would be a violation of your privacy.
Me: But I've already given you my name, date of birth, SS# and my account number. You've verified my identity.
Ins. Rep: I know, but I still can't tell you what the code means.
Me: But, you need to know if this code was a pre-existing condition?
Ins. Rep: Yes.
Me: And you need me to tell you if the code is a pre-existing condition?
Ins. Rep: Yes.
Me: But you can't tell me what the code means?
Ins. Rep: No
Me: (heavy sigh) you don't see the problem here?

Lather, rinse and repeat this conversation many times over the next few weeks until finally an ins. rep is able to tell me that they've received all the information they need from my doctor and I'm good to go. So, while I still don't know if I have the mystery pre-existing condition, the insurance company assures me that the claim will be processed and all will be well. Yay! Birds are singing, bells are ringing, deer are frolicking in the fields and all is well.

Until last month when I received a nasty collections notice from the hospital. Seems the bill hasn't been paid and now they want it paid in full or they're going to send me to collections...words like ruined credit rating and garnished wages are thrown about and I'm confused as to why the bill is A. so stinking high and B. so freaking late. If someone owed me money like that, I might not wait a year before billing them. Just sayin...

Sigh. I call the insurance company and am told that the claim hasn't been processed yet because they haven't received all the necessary information from the hospital. What?!? Sigh again, louder, longer, and with swearing this time!

So, to the hospital? The sharpest end of a pointy stick! If you can't provide the insurance company with the required information, how can you expect to be paid in a timely manner?!?

And to the insurance company? Really? Incompetence is not something to which you should aspire and maybe your job interviewing process should involve a little something more than just shoving a mirror under someone's nose just to ensure that they are, in fact, breathing!!!!**

*BTW, the hospital? Wanted that $30,000 paid in 90 days. According to them, the fact that I only made about $12,000 a year at the time should not have presented an issue. Morons.

**obviously, I don't know that this is the exact requirement for employment in the insurance industry. I'm sure that there are many fine, intelligent people who work in insurance...I'd just like to actually talk to a few of them, it would do wonders for my stress level.

Olympic Size Dreams

2010-02-18T21:49:00.000-06:00

Mood: Tired (this week has lasted somewhere near a month now)

What I'm Watching: The Olympics baby! (The sport, the drama, Shaun White...what's not to love!)

I have a confession to make. I absolutely love the Olympics. Summer or winter doesn't matter, but every time the Olympic season rolls around my normally sport hating self suddenly becomes an avid watcher of all things Olympic. When I was younger I used to wish that I had the kind of talent that would take me to the Olympics (usually in some super artistic girlie type sport with super cute outfits like gymnastics or figure skating), but, alas, I'm not coordinated, dedicated, or athletic enough to even climb up the steps in the arenas to watch the sports, let alone participate in them.

Now that I'm older, I always think that the Olympics, with all their pagentry, grace and displays of athletic skill, are nothing more than a bittersweet moment in time. These althletes work their whole lives towards one goal...the Olympic gold. If they're lucky, they win. On that day, in that place, they are the best in the world. That's an absolutely amazing accomplishment but then what? Can anything in their lives top that moment? When your whole life has revolved around a goal and you attain that goal, how do you redefine your life?

Even worse are the many athletes who train just as long, work just as hard and want it just as bad...but who, on that day, in that place, are not among the best in the world. All of that time, effort and sacrifice culminates in the disappointing loss of their goal. If they're lucky, they may be able to continue training for the next Olympics but an athlete's career span is a short one. The human body simply cannot withstand the demands and pressures of an elite level athlete indefinitely. Then what? What happens when you've dedicated your entire life in the pursuit of a single goal and you fail to attain that goal? How do you redifine your life?

So, on reflection, I think it was probably best that I was not blessed with any sort of athletic talent. Instead, I was given a drive to write...to create worlds with my words. There's no shelf life on a writer's creativity, there's an unlimited opportunity to write, revise and write again, and the opportunities to both succeed and fail are absolutely limitless. Now, if they could just come up with a super cute, sparkly writer outfit...

Happy Single Persons Appreciation Day!

2010-02-14T19:03:00.000-06:00

Mood: Happy (Have had a decent weekend w/ the hubs. Still waiting for the appearance of my new neice/nephew...baby is being stubborn and my sister is being a trooper. No one should have to be in labor for over a week!)

What I'm Watching: Cheaters (I would be watching the Olympics but stupid NBC is taking a break in coverage to bring me an absolutely useless infomercial)

It's Valentine's Day. That oh so special day that requires people in love to find one perfect gift or gesture that somehow conveys the sum total of affection they feel the other 364 days of the year. Unrealistic much? The truth is that if your partner doesn't appreciate you or show you love through the rest of the year a dozen roses on Valentine's Day probably doesn't mean anything more than the fact that he/she is stupid enough to A. pay way over-inflated floral prices and B. think that a dozen roses is going to "fix" a year's worth of jackassery.

It's not that I have anything against Valentine's Day, I really don't. A day dedicated to being grateful and showing appreciation for the ones we love is actually a great idea. Except for when you're alone. Now, I know that I'm lucky enough to be married to a great guy who has been very nice to me this Valentine's Day (hello? A trip to both B&N and Borders to shop for books? Total V-day win!) but I remember all too well the many Valentine's Days I spent alone being reminded by everyone and everything that I was alone.

Truthfully, I used to loathe Valentine's Day when I was single but if I'd known then what I know now I would have embraced the day as Single Persons Appreciation Day!

I would have:

1.) Accepted that the reason I was alone was not because I would never find anyone to love me but because I refused to settle for someone who was less than the person I deserved.

2.) Not wasted so much time being jealous of those who had a significant other on V-Day. I know now that being married/dating doesn't necessarily = happiness and that no amount of flowers on Feb. 14th can fix a broken and unhappy relationship.

3.) Pampered myself because I deserved it and because no one knows me and what I want/need better than me!

So, if you find yourself unattached this Valentine's Day, embrace it. Declare it Single Persons Appreciation day and appreciate yourself!!! Enjoy having complete control over the television remote, being able to purchase a Valentine's gift for yourself that is exactly what you want, and what the heck, buy yourself some of your favorite flowers. You deserve them!

Hello Universe, What Did I do To Piss You Off Today?

2010-02-10T23:44:00.005-06:00

Mood: Excited (my sister is in labor w/ her 6th child...but she tends to labor for a long time and the baby isn't engaging the way he/she should so it's going to be a long process)

What I'm Watching: TMZ (Harvey totally rocks! *I'm a lawyer*)

This morning we slowly began to dig ourselves out after the snowpocalpyse. While things didn't get nearly as bad as the weathermen predicted they would, we got enough snow, ice and wind to make going outdoors miserable at best. Which is why this was the worst possible morning for the hubs to decide to take off to his job with my car keys in his coat pocket. I asked him to be sure that he didn't have my keys...he assured me he didn't. He was wrong. Mental note to me: don't take hubs word for it...check for yourself!

He works in a town 35 minutes away so bringing the keys to me was not an option. So, I ended up walking to work. Normally this would not be a huge deal. Annoying yes (especially since this is not the first time he's done this), but we don't live that far from my office. However. The path to work? Doesn't really have sidewalks and the grass is currently covered with snow drifts up to my knees.

The snow drifts were bad enough but they hid a layer of pure ice and made it impossible to tell where curbs and ankle twisting dips in the turf were until it was too late. By too late, of course, I mean I fell. A couple of times. Full on face first into the snow in front of God and all creation. By the time I got to work, I was exhausted, out of breath, in pain with wet socks and a purse full of snow. It was noon before I regained the feeling in my frozen feet and legs.

The hubs? Is currently in the doghouse.

In other, happier, news:

Anne over at Anne Riley and Kelly over at Rants, Observations and Other Remarks have both seen fit to award me the Honest Scrap Award! Now, I know I already have that award but there's a tiny little part of me that still goes "Squeeeeeeee!!!" when I get an award. After all, I've not gotten this award from those super bloggers before! Seriously you should totally check out their blogs. Really. Go.

According to the rules of this award, I'm to list 10 honest facts about myself. I've already done this when I accepted the award the first time but, since two more people have seen fit to give me this award, I've decided to give 10 more honest facts about me.

More things you never wanted to know about me:

1.) I suffer from road rage. Seriously. It's horrible. I get behind the wheel of a car and suddenly no one on the road knows how to drive except me. Luckily my rage is confined to yelling w/ the windows rolled up.

2.) I think that faith is far more important than religion.

3.) I'm terrified to fly. Well, it's not so much the flying as the flying and then suddenly not flying anymore that scares me.

4.) I pride myself on being a strong person and being able to take care of myself. This sometimes causes me to appear stubborn and makes it difficult for me to accept help.

5.) My dad beat feet when I was just an infant. I wouldn't know him if he walked up to me right now.

6.) Most of the rest of my family of origin recently converted to Mormonism. I'm okay with their choice but I don't think that they're okay with my choice to remain non-Mormon.

7.) I suffer from OCD. Not in the 'constantly wash your hands' or 'sparkly clean house' sense but in the "obsessive thoughts" sense. Which basically means that I have obsessive, worrisome thoughts without the bonus of having a perfectly clean house.

8.) I can crochet but not knit.

9.) I have an absolutely horrible sense of time. It drives the hubs nuts because I always say "the other day" and it could have been two days, two weeks, two months or two years ago.

10.) I prefer dark chocolate. Really, the darker the better.

Another Year, Another Award, Another Blog Entry

2010-02-07T22:20:00.005-06:00

Mood: Tired (spent the whole weekend w/ the hubs celebrating his 40th birthday...which technically isn't until tomorrow...but who wants to celebrate on a Monday?)

What I'm Watching: NOT the Superbowl (suspect we might be the only ones in the US who aren't)

WoooHooo!! I got another bloggie type award from Natalie over at The Sound of Rain. This one is super cool because, well, just look at it. It's an award for being creative and it's decorated w/ old school writing tools and a flower! What's not to love here, really? As usual I'm super excited about a new piece of shiny blog bling and this one doesn't even come with the usual "embarrass yourself" requirement that seems to accompany so many of these awards so squeeeee!!!

I would have posted about this award sooner but we've been super busy this weekend celebrating the hubs upcoming 40th birthday. Because it was his birthday weekend, we did all the things he likes to do: watching a movie and eating. What can I say? He's really easy to please.

Our weekend at a glance (from my point of view):

The movie. Sherlock Holmes.

We went to see it in an older style theater. Sure, the seats aren't as comfortable as the seats in the newer theaters but it's totally nostalgic. Will soak up the atmosphere, taking note of the period fixtures and the exposed brick walls. But the seats? Still really uncomfortable. Right. But this is for the hubs and he loves this place...will just adjust self a bit. Humph. Hope movie is short.

Bummer, more people coming in and we no longer have theater to ourselves. Oh.My.Goodness. They're crunchers. You know, the people that sit right behind you and crunch on their popcorn like pigs at a trough? Yep, that's them and hell. Now they're going for a refill. Sigh. Adjust self again in an attempt to 1. find better position for aching back and 2. move self away from worst of crunchilicious cacophony.

Oooohhhh! Looky, time for the movie. Preview, preview, preview. Boring, boring, boring. Wonder briefly if Hollywood is completely out of any good original ideas. Try to ignore crunchers behind me. Am doing this for the hubs. Happy for hubs. Hubs is going to be 40. Need to celebrate.

Finally, the movie starts. Sherlock Holmes. I've read some of the stories, this should be decent. Crap. Crunchers? Are also talkers and not interesting talkers...talkers who insist on stating the obvious the entire freaking time. Barely restrain self from killing them w/ their own popcorn and settle instead for a death glare. Death glare does little good.

Movie? Boooorrrriiiinnnnnggggg. I'm sooooo bored. Sooooo bored. Seats? Still uncomfortable. If they were more comfortable, I would take a nap. Looky, an explosion. Maybe Holmes is dead and movie is over. He lived? Crap. Movie not over. Still bored. Still bored. Another death glare to cruncher/talker couple. One more completely obvious comment and I'm going to be forced to resort to the totally called for "no shit Sherlock" response. More explosions...still not dead. Movie still not over.

Wait, wait...movie is...OVER!!! Party in my head. Kiss my arse crunchery talkery people. I'm so outta here!!!

The Food: Red Lobster (the hubs all time favorite...sea food)

Returning to the site of my first major panic attack...the things I do for love. Really. Once a year I take the hubs to Red Lobster and let him order whatever it is that he'd like. He loves lobster, scallops, crab legs, shrimp scampi, etc. I? Prefer turf to the surf so I order steak and lobster tail...give the lobster tail to the hubs and eat my steak and my small portion of mashed potatoes. So, no surprise, I manage to finish eating my small meal far before the hubs manages to finish eating half the ocean that is sitting in front of him (seriously, even the waitress was impressed with the amount of seafood he consumed). Bored and not wanting to interrupt hubs in the midst of his feeding frenzy (by this point his eyes have glazed over and he no longer has the ability to engage in proper conversation), I start eavedropping on the large group at the table next to us.

First, Mr. Pretentiously healthy goes on for nearly 20 minutes on how health conscious he is w/ his food choices. He goes on and on about how he will only eat fish from certain places and won't eat any food w/ preservatives, etc. Which probably would have been far more impressive had he not washed his chicken and rice down with about 6 beers and topped it off w/ a huge slab of cake and ice cream.

Then, Sister Perfection spends 15 minutes explaining with great pride how, when she goes to visit 'brother who was smart enough not to show up for this family shindig' she takes her own linens and towels because he's so very clean that she's sure he prefers it if she brings her own stuff. Uh, okay? Or maybe he's so freaking obsessed about cleaning when you come because you bring your own linens like his aren't good enough for you? Just a thought.

Finally, they finish this all up by taking various family pictures with Aunt Olna (who's approx. 106 years old) and then invite the entire wait staff over to sing happy birthday to her. People, she's 106 years old...she doesn't need to be embarrassed in the middle of freaking Red Lobster!

And no, I didn't have the staff sing to the hubs. For the record, I absolutely loathe the 'happy birthday' singing in restaraunts tradition. Seriously. Loathe.

Finally, the hubs finishes eating his ocean's worth of seafood and we're able to pay the check and leave.

Everything Else:

We also went to the mall and bummed around. Lesson learned: don't buy anything edible from the Dollar Place...it was all outdated. Also? Don't trust the hubs when he says "it's fine" because he then follows it up with "well, it does taste a bit funny, but it's fine." Uh...it's NOT fine if it tastes funny.

We briefly stopped at Barnes and Noble. Lesson learned: not all B&N's are created equal. This one was much smaller than the one I'm used to, had a limited selection and had far creepier people hanging around.

We also had a free night at a nice hotel. It was good to get away but the beds...OY!! My back still isn't talking to me. Seriously, we have the cheapest, crappiests, oldest, hardest mattress on the face of the planet. I never have an issue sleeping on it. Put me in a nice, new, adjustable bed with a fancy memory foam thing going on? And my back totally turns into a pretzel. Lesson learned: I'm supposed to be poor because my body is already adjusted to inferior merchandise. :)

At any rate, we had a decent weekend and the hubs is happy because he's had fun and eaten his favorite foods...that's what really matters, right?

Me? Over the Top?

2010-02-01T22:18:00.002-06:00

Mood: Blah (yep, that's it alright. Have a headache and the hubs? Drilling holes for his project...blah is about as good as it gets right now)

What I'm Watching: A blank screen (My cable company? Is officially on my list!)

Look what I got!!! *insert happy dance here* Just what I needed to cheer me up on this miserable Monday...a shiny piece of blog bling from Laurel over at Laurel's Leaves!

As always, there are rules but these are easy and probably somewhat fun!!

Rules: Answer the following questions with single word answers then pass this along to 5 other bloggers. Sounds easy enough, right. That one word answer thing might be a bit tricky though.

Your Cell Phone? Essential
Your Hair? Brown
Your Mother? Loving
Your Father? Deadbeat
Your Favorite Food? Steak
Your Dream Last Night? House
Your Favorite Drink? Tea
Your Dream/Goal? Novelist
What Room Are You In? Livingroom
Your Hobby? Reading
Your Fear? Failure
Where Do You See Yourself In Six Years? Published
Where Were You Last Night? Home
Something That You Aren't? Patient
Muffins? Blueberry
Wish List Item? House
Where Did You Grow Up? Projects
Last Thing You Did? Talked
What Are You Wearing? Sweats
Your TV? Old
Your Pets? Gone
Friends? Loyal
Your Life? Happy
Your Mood? Blah
Missing Someone? Grandma
Vehicle? Fusion
Something You Aren't Wearing? Shoes
Your Favorite Store? B&N
Your Favorite Color? Green
When Was The Last Time You Laughed? Now
Last Time You Cried? Sunday
Your Best Friend? Hubby
One Place You Go To Over And Over Again? Interwebs
Facebook? Addicted
Favorite Place To Eat? Home

And now my very own fab five who are "Over the Top" in the best bloggy way possible!!!

1. Frankie at Frankie Writes

2. Carol at Carol's Prints

3. Mary at Writer's Butt Does Not Apply to Me

4. Jamie at Totally the Bomb

5. Shannon at Ramblings of a Wannabe Scribe

The Thing About Being a Writer...

2010-01-30T23:53:00.001-06:00

Mood: Frustrated (Really? My laptop is about to become a missle like object in an effort to diffuse the angst of writer's block. And for those of you who say it doesn't exist? I hope that my purple, sparkly laptop slams upside your head. I think the thud would be very satisfying.)

What I'm Watching: Lying to be Perfect (One of the few times I've given into the lure of a Lifetime Movie. This time it was because the description sounded suspiciously like a book I recently read. Turns out that I was totally right...it is based on the book I read. Go me!)

...is that you have to be just a little unbalanced to do it. Really, we spend all day (and sometimes most of the night) talking to people and about people who don't exist outside the confines of our own minds (although, I wouldn't want to mention that to my main character Rory, she doesn't know she's not exactly, well, a real person...she's a bit sensitive about it in fact). Let's face it, if we didn't do that sitting at a computer screen under the guise of "being creative", we'd be sitting in a nice padded cell under the guise of being completely off our rockers.

After spending all afternoon trying to figure out why, exactly, my main character continues to thwart my writing process, I have come to the conclusion that spending the day arguing with a fictional character in my mind might qualify me for the short line to the prozac express. Thankfully I'm okay with the idea of being slightly off my nut. After all, as a writer, I'm in very good company: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, Virginia Woolf, Leo Tolstoy, Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemmingway and Sylvia Plath just to name a few. All very talented, very successful and very mentally unbalanced writers. Now I'm not endorsing putting ones head in an oven ala Sylvia Plath or using a shotgun to pierce one's ears ala Ernest Hemmingway, I'm simply saying that there is a long line of connection between creative genius and slight bent towards the insane. Which means that my insanity isn't an affliction it's a manifestation of my creative genius!!

So, embrace your inner writer and your inner writer's inner crazy person. Run with it and let it unleash the power of your creative genius! But, if you find yourself thinking of the oven as a place to keep your head? Well, they make medication for that now. You might want to get some.

Get up, Get Dressed, THEN Go Out...

2010-01-26T22:15:00.001-06:00

Mood: Excited (some big stuff coming up: The hubs birthday, Valentine's day and it's almost time for my new little neice or nephew to make his/her appearance!)

What I'm Watching: Psychic Kids (Pretty interesting stuff really.)

When I was a teenager (back in the 80's) there was no way that my friends and I would have left the house without a full complement of hair, make-up and clothing. We would carefully choose our outfits, mixing hypercolor t-shirts with tight rolled jeans, or maybe a short skirt with biker shorts underneath (wasn't that a good look?) and don't forget about jelly bracelets, sunglasses, banana clips and layering our socks so we'd look super cool. Then, we would tease, crimp, back comb and Aquanet our hair into the perfect combination of mall bangs and side wings, and top the whole look off by applying layers of electricly colored eyeshadows and lipsticks (my personal favorite was the mood lipstick). All of this? Was just to go to the mall and hang out at the food court.

For a really good look at the full on 80's fashion, take a look at this frightening video from Dance Party USA. Back in the day? I LOVED this show. (Sorry about the song...it was the best I could find).

Anyway, the point is that we took time and effort to look that ~~bad~~ good when we went out in public. So, color me confused at the current trend of teenagers who, well, don't bother dressing at all when they go out in public. Instead they opt to hit the mall in their fuzzy pajama pants, slippers and baby sleep T's. What the heck? Seriously. Is it that big of an effort to actually get dressed in the morning? Slipping on some shoes, maybe running a brush through your hair, would that really take too much of your precious time?

Back in the early 90's, when I was in college and had been up cramming all night in preparation for finals, I went to an early morning class in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt with my hair pulled up in a ponytail. The looks I got would have made a lesser woman crumble into dust. Lack of sleep and studying til the last minute were obviously not acceptable excuses for showing up to class in this less than prime state. Now? I suspect that I would be greatly overdressed.

This past weekend the hubs and I made our weekly trek to Wal-Mart for things like toothpaste and toilet paper and before we even parked the car we counted at least 10 people in the parking lot...in their pajamas. I don't know where, when or how this trend started but it needs to stop. Now. Please.

Who Am I Again?

2010-01-23T20:36:00.004-06:00

Mood: Out of Sorts (a generic catch all for feeling all sorts of negative things: frustration, discontent, irritation, etc. for no real reason)

What I'm Watching: COPS (Dude. Don't run when the cop stops you. You're going to get caught and the cop is going to be really ticked you made him run. He has a tazer. This will not end well for you.)

Carol over at Carol's Prints recently posted a very insightful and thought provoking entry about branding and blogging. I started my blog because it sounded like a fun way to share everything from the randomly sarcastic thoughts that ~~occasionally~~ nearly constantly run through my mind to the adventures the hubs and I invariably have whenver we attempt to travel.

I never thought about "branding" myself because, really, who cares about me? (see, I'm not completely narcissistic). The most I ever hoped for was that someone might stumble on my blog and maybe find it mildly amusing. It never even entered my mind that my blog would eventually be connected to my writing world because, at the time, my writing world existed only in a very dark room at the very back corner of my mind (I kept it hidden behind high school algebra because, really, who's going to look there?).

Since that time I've connected with a wonderful bunch of writers through the interwebs (special thanks to the #amwriting/#amwritingparty crew over at Twitter and all the super cool writer's blogs that I follow) and have slowly brought my writerly self out into the bright sunlight of the real world. Now? Thanks to Carol's musings I realize that the parts of my personality that come across in my blog/tweets/general internet presence may ultimately used to define who I am. Eventually agents (I hope) and maybe even editors (fingers crossed) may Google my name and what they find here will, for them, represent "me". My brand.

To be honest, I'm not sure exactly what that means. Like Popeye, "I am who I am" and I think that tends to come through in my on-line world. Sometimes I'm snarky and sarcastic. Sometimes I'm stubborn and (obviously) easily irritated by general stupidity. Most of the time I've got a sense of humor about the world and, perhaps more important, about myself. Often I'm passionate, compassionate, kind and loving (I swear!). Occasionally, I'm all of these things at once (which makes life fun for the hubs, I assure you).

Since I generally believe in being who I am, for better or worse, I don't think that "crafting" a brand for myself is going to be a realistic option for me. So I guess my brand is just plain old me...flaws and all. The most I can hope for is that anyone who stumbles across my little corner of the interwebs will be able to take me for who I am. If not? Well, then I suppose that they probably weren't the agent, publisher, editor or internet stalker for me anyway.

Retail Therapy?

2010-01-17T13:23:00.000-06:00

Mood: Sleepy (it's a sleepy type of a Sunday afternoon)

What I'm Watching: Lockup (They're letting the inmates work with rescue animals...interesting concept)

In an effort to forage for the essentials like toothpaste and toilet paper, the hubs and I had to make our weekly trek to Wal-Mart yesterday (exciting way to spend a weekend, no?). As usual, within 30 seconds of entering the parking lot, I was ready to start strangling people with my bare hands. What is it about shopping that turns ordinary people into card carrying members of the moron club?

In the interest of keeping the body count to a minimum and myself out of prison, I'd like to propose the following rules for shopping:

1.) When you are leaving the store, pushing your cart across the lot, you are not surrounded by a protective force field. My car is big, your bones are fragile, maybe you'd like to at least give a cursory glance around before jetting out in front of me.

2.) Parent is a verb. It's something that you need to do, not just something that you are. If your offspring is screaming, climbing out of your shopping cart, or opening packages of food and randomly tossing the contents on the floor? The correct response is not to continue chatting on your cell phone whilst randomly yelling and/or slapping said offspring. Put the damn phone down and pay proper attention to your children!

3.) While I'm on the subject of phones. Put the damn phone down already! Seriously. A quick phone call to find out if you need paper towels? No problem. An extended phone call about who did what with who at the bar on Friday night? No one needs to hear that, especially the cashier who is being paid minimum wage for you to ignore her while she waits for you to stop gossiping long enough to pay her already! And people who talk on cell phones in the bathroom stalls? I'm also looking at you here. This is a situation where multitasking is NOT a good thing.

4.) Thanks to technology, the world is now a very small place. There are cell phones, social networking sites, texting options and the good old fashioned land line phone and while I'm super psyched that you've run into your old neighbor/cousin/sister/dear friend/mail carrier, stopping in the middle of a narrow aisle to catch up on the last 20 years of news? Not acceptable. I really don't care where your son is going to college or how many kids your daughter has. So exchange phone numbers, promise to look each other up on facebook and get the hell out of my way already!

5.) The express lanes? The ones that say 20 items or less? Stop pulling into those lanes with a cart filled to overflowing. And when you do get into those lanes? Don't look annoyed when people like me, who are stuck behind your dumbass with one or two items, make a comment about your apparent lack of math and/or reading skills.

I really have never seen the appeal of "retail therapy" but I do understand the need for therapy after a retail experience!

A Few of My Favorite Things (with pictures and shiny new blog bling!)

2010-01-16T20:40:00.006-06:00

Mood: Lazy (It's 2:00 pm on a Saturday afternoon. The shopping is done, the house is clean and now? I'm lazy.) (Please note: it was 2:00 pm when I started this blog post...I'm so lazy that it's taken me nearly 5 hours to get around to finishing it up!)

What I'm Watching: Kind of Queens (The hubs and I? We're totally the Heffernens without the annoyingly creepy father living in the basement.)

I love awards and I love cupcakes so what's not to love about my newest piece of blog bling?!? Diana over at 'Writing Roller Coasters' was cool enough to present me with The Happy Blog Award!! Diana is a relatively new discovery for me but if you haven't checked out her blog, what the heck are you waiting for? Seriously, where else can you get references to both sculpted, hard bodied males and the genius idea of deep fried cheese dipped in cheese sauce in the same blog post?

As an aside...just how cute is this award? I mean really. Cupcakes, sprinkles, sunsets...it almost makes you smile just looking at it! Or maybe it's just me? Anyway, as always, awards have certain requirements that must be fulfilled.

Luckily the terms of acceptance for the Happy Blog award are simple. I don't have to share any deep dark childhood fears (ty-d-bol, I'm totally looking at you here), no embarrassing high school moments (all of them) or otherwise subject myself to public humilation. I simply have to list 10 things that make me happy and pass this on to 10 blogs that make me happy. The first should be relatively easy. The second? That might be a bit tricky because all the blogs I follow make me happy...or I wouldn't follow them.

Ten Things That Make Me Happy!

1.) My husband. He annoys me, loves me, makes me crazy and spoils me. He's my best friend and the only person who is always guaranteed to make me smile.

2.) My nephews and my neice. Honestly, how could you look at these little pudge faces and not have it instantly brighten your day? There's nothing better than going into my sister's house and having the whole crew attack me with hugs and kisses.

3.) Camping with the hubs. Getting out into nature, enjoying the cool evenings by the campfire, and the sunny mornings listening to the birds chirping.

4.) Ice Cream. Yes, that's right. Ice cream. Mint Chocolate Chip, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, it all makes me very, very happy!

5.) Christmas. I admit it. I love all things Christmas. The cooking, the smells, the songs, even the shopping.

6.) The Fourth of July. Family gatherings, cookouts, parades and fireworks coupled with a great day in American History. What's not to love?

7.) PG-13 cartoons, like King of the Hill, South Park and Family Guy. Yes, they're generally tacky and sometimes (most of the time) push the boundaries of good taste but I absolutely think they're hilarious.

8.)Vacation baby!! I absolutely love to travel and just get away from it all. Whether it's a cruise, a trip to the beach or a fun time on a road trip. I don't care. I just love being out and away from home!

9.) My followers! Am I the only blogger who gets a little squeee when I see a new comment on a blog post or that I have a new follower on my list? I love my readers, their ideas, their feedback and the fact that they're willing to wade through my thoughts! :)

10.) Books. Really. All kinds of books. They've always been my teachers, my friends and my escape. I suspect that if reading could be an addiction, I'd have to check myself into Betty Ford for detox!

Now, for my list of 10 blogs that make me happy. Well, actually, as Diana discovered, we tend to follow the blogs that make us happy in some way so randomly choosing 10 seems to be the best way to go (I know, I'm a total copycat, but imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?) *Ahem* Anyway, here they are:

1.) Carol at Carol's Prints

2.) Frankie at Frankie Writes.

3.) Jamie at Bookmom Musings

4.) Lisa and Laura at Lisa and Laura Write

5.) Lyla at Instant Human Just Add Coffee

6.) Rhonda Stapleton at Just Your Average Crazy Writer

7.) Harley May at HarleyMay.com

8.) Laurel at Laurel's Leaves

9.) Mary Campbell at Writer's Butt Does Not Apply to Me!

10.) Courtney Reese at Work in Progress

Seriously, if you're not reading these people, you totally should be. From vlog tips to diet tips to writing tips and just general all around being the shiznit, these blogs are among some of the most entertaining that I've come across!!! :)

It's Because I'm Crazy Isn't it?

2010-01-12T20:41:00.002-06:00

Mood: Overwhelmed (Crazy busy week at work. There's just not enough hours in the day!)

What I'm Watching: American Idol (I'm so not into American Idol but there's something about the auditions that is too fun not to watch!)

A few days ago I read a post by Jamie over at Bookmom Musings reflecting on the "why" of her writing. Why do we write? Why do we put ourselves through the ~~torture~~ the effort required to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and spin a tale?

Her post prompted me to reflect on my own writing journey. Currently I've hit a very rough patch in my current work in progress and when I consider the "why" of my journey as a writer, I feel like this:

The why for me is not always clear. I have stories to tell but sometimes the effort of getting them out and onto paper is so difficult that it seems almost impossible. So what makes me sit down at the computer and keep trying when it seems that I'll never be able to get the words right?

Maybe it's the hope that someday I'll be able to find the right words, or maybe just the words that work in the moment. Maybe it's because my characters are so real I need to breathe life into them and allow them to exist independent of my own imagination. Mostly, though, I think my "why" lies in the fact that I'm driven to write and have been most of my life. I need to write the way I need to breathe or eat or sleep.

Or, there is the distinct possibility that I'm absolutely out of my mind crazy. I mean, you have to be...at least a little...to put yourself through this process on a daily basis, right?

It's a Conspiracy!!

2010-01-08T23:21:00.003-06:00

Mood: Frustrated (writing is not going really well today. On the other hand, I've gotten a hell of a lot of work done around the house.)

What I'm Watching: Roseanne (The torando episode. It's a testament to how tired I am of cold and snow that I'm actually wishing we had the warm spring weather that would bring with it thunderstorms and tornado warnings).

I would just like to say that I'm not much of a conspiracy theorist. I'm not trying to say that the moon landing was filmed on a Hollywood sound stage or that the government is studying alien life forms in Area 54. However, there is one conspiracy in my life that is so big, so annoying and so unavoidable that it must be addressed. I'm talking, of course, about the snow plow drivers.

I'm appreciative of the invaluable services that they offer and for years I assumed that it was an unfortunate coincidence that the snow plow would always go by and shove a large pile of snow at the end of my drive just as I'd finished shoveling it out (by hand no less). I tried to be understanding when they would shove piles of snow into the drive of the church where I work making it nearly impossible for me to make my way into the parking area. I've even been patient when they've plowed piles of snow behind my car in our apartment parking lot (they plow in the middle of the night...and just make a pass behind the cars).

What I cannot understand is why every single snow plow driver we've ever had clear the parking lot at the church where I work will invariably pile the snow they plow right up against the sign at the corner of our property. This is the sign that I have to change every week. By hand. The church parking lot is HUGE and there are literally hundreds of other places the snow could be piled, but no. They always pile it right where I have to hike through to change that stupid sign. Schlepping through snow up to my knees in dress shoes and dress slacks is definitely not my idea of a good time.

At first I thought it was just one thoughtless driver. When another driver did the same thing the next year, I thought it was a coincidence. Now? We've got yet another driver doing the same thing. Obviously at some point in my life I've done something to seriously piss off the snow plow drivers of the world and now they're all gunning for me!

So, I'd just like all my friends to know that if I go missing before spring, please check the 6ft pile of snow next to the church sign.

It's Not Time to Panic Yet!

2010-01-06T22:52:00.000-06:00

Mood: Irritated (Seriously, I had a ~~great~~ blog post all written and my computer flaked and now? It's gone)

What I'm Watching: King of the Hill (I tell you what!)

For those of you who don't know, I live in central Illinois. It's a place where ice, snow and freezing temperatures are as common in the winter as corn, soybeans and road construction are in the summer. Currently we're under a winter weather warning calling for 7 - 12" of snow, high winds and sub zero temps. Honestly? I'm totally aware of the complete suckage factor involved here. Shoveling snow, slipping on the ice and scraping my car windows are definitely NOT a few of my favorite things. However, having lived here my entire life, I've come to accept them as inevitable like death, taxes and bad tv talk shows (Maury, I'm totally looking at you here).

So, I have to admit complete confusion when other people treat any forecast for more than a dusting of snow as a cause for complete panic. People? We live in an area where this weather is not unusual. We have snow plows and salt trucks to handle the situation. There is no need to rush out in a blind panic to strip the stores of every last bit of milk, bread and toilet paper. It's a snowstorm, not the end of the freaking world.

Also, if you're out driving in the sucky snowy weather, please drive carefully. You may think you can drive 70 mph in this weather but let me assure you, you can't. While I don't necessarily care if you run your idiot self into the ditch (and you will), I'm going to be incredibly ticked if you take me along with you. Seriously. Ticked.

And, for those of you who don't live in an area blessed with the kind of snow we can get here, I've thoughtfully provided pictures from last winter for your snowy enjoyment.

This is the window of our old aparment that has snow drifted halfway up it. We got a few more inches after this picture was taken but it gives you an idea.

This is a picture of an ice storm we had last January. Can't really tell from this pic but there's about two inches of solid ice covering everything. Still? We managed to get out and about so still no need to panic folks!

Happy New Year!!!

2010-01-03T01:30:00.002-06:00

Mood: Tired, really, really tired (turns out that it takes a couple of days for my thirty something year old hiney to recover from the New Year's Eve festivities)

What I'm Watching: Celebrity Ghost Stories (It's midnight, what else would I be watching?)

The hubs and I rang in the New Year by partying with a bunch of rowdy strangers at a hotel. The downside? The hubs and I are not actually social people so being forced to sit at a table with strangers? Not our thing. And drunken, rowdy strangers acting stupid because they're too drunk to realize how stupid they're acting? Totally annoying...especially when they're armed with those obnoxious noisemakers and insist on blowing them in my ear every.ten.seconds! I had to be physically prevented from relocating those noisemakers to someplace where noisemakers aren't normally intended to go.

And don't get me started on the people that brought their children to this party. Yep. Open bar, drunken morons and loud music...I'm not a parent and even I know this isn't exactly the proper environment for your 7 year old. What the heck? Were there no crack dealers you could leave them with?

Also? I've learned that there are some things that you just can't unsee no matter how much you drink or how hard you try. On New Year's Eve, these sights included the following:

* A rather large woman wearing a black bra under a sheer white shirt. Honey. No.

* A woman who wore a completely sequined mini dress that barely contained the minimum amount of skin. After a few drinks? She apparently forgot she was wearing a "barely there" dress and proceeded to sit with her legs spread as though she was half expecting her ob-gyn to come by and give her a pap smear.

*A man who, from the waist up, looked quite dashing in a tuxedo jacket complete with vest and tie. I thought, "wow, it's nice to see a man who dresses up like that for New Year's Eve". Then he walked by me. You guys? He was wearing shorts. What the hell?!?

*A woman who had back hair. Honest to goodness, full on furry back hair. The back of her shirt dipped a little too low and her tufts of hair were peeking out from under the shirt. I feel confident in saying that this was not a man in drag, this was definitely a woman. With copious amounts of back fur. I got independent confirmation from the hubs (who is now completely traumatized). I also got his assurance that should I ever sprout back hair he will shave and/or ensure that it is properly and promptly removed.

*There was a large group of friends sitting at the table next to us. At some point a man from that table was standing in between his wife and her friend. He had an arm around each of them. No big deal. Until his hand slipped down to squeeze his wife's friend's butt (which was probably all of a foot from my face). Okay, so he's a bit drunk and being a bit of an ass. It happens. I tried to ignore it. Then? His hand slipped up under the friend's mini-dress and it stayed under there like it was stuck in some sort of gravitational pull. *shudder* DUDE! You're in public and and right next to your wife!!! Just because she's at an angle where she can't see where your hand is and what it's doing doesn't make it cool. ACK!!! My eyes!!!!

But, lest you think it was all bad, it wasn't. Things that almost made the trauma worth it:

* We got upgraded to the Presidential suite. I'm talking about a hotel room that is bigger than our current apartment complete with a fireplace, a hot tub and a kitchen with a dishwasher. Seriously. What a great way to ring in the new year!

* They made an error on our reservations and we were totally compensated w/ an open bar pass, free breakfast and a reduction in room rate. Sweeeettt!!!

*I got to spend my Borders and B&N gift cards. Hours of shopping surrounded by the smell of brand new books. Sigh. I managed to stretch my dollars too and ended up with something like 13 new books!!!!

*Santa hubs got me a late gift of a Livescribe pen to help with my writing efforts. I tend to brainstorm/plot old school with pen and paper. Unfortunately that means that I have to shuffle through hundreds of notebook pages looking for necessary information. The Livescribe pen will allow me to upload the pages I've written and it makes them searchable so I can easily find the information I need in my notes by searching a keyword or two. Squeeeee!!! So far I'm loving it.

Hope 2010 is treating everyone well so far and that no one was forced to witness the sorts of mind damaging, therapy inducing things that I was on New Year's Eve!!

Despite the Tiara, I am NOT Cinderella

2009-12-31T13:49:00.003-06:00

Mood: Tired and headachy (that's right, 2009 has decided to charge out on the wings of a migraine.)

What I'm Watching: Judge Jeanine (I'm not typically home this early in the day and had no idea that such wonderful trash tv now existed!)

Current Word Count: *Ahem* No comment

It's New Year's Eve...that time of year when people all over the world celebrate the illusion of a new beginning. They make resolutions, promises to themselves that they're going to eat better, exercise more, be kinder, work harder, watch less tv, etc. Personally, I don't necessarily believe in the magical power of a new year. I think that if you're a basically lazy, chocolate snarfing smart ass (like me) on December 31st, you're going to be a basically lazy, chocolate snarfing smart-ass on January 1st.

However, I do believe in the power of positive life changes and rearranging your priorities to better reflect the things that are important to you. So, in the spirit of things, I've taken a good hard look at the things in my life that I'd like to change. So, here goes:

Things I'd Like to Change About My Life Which are In No Way to be Considered "Resolutions"

I'd like to make more time for my writing. It's my passion and recently when a friend referred to me as a writer, I realized just how right that felt. I need to find a way to make my writing a priority.

I crawled out of the shallow end of the gene pool which basically means that I'm short, fat and, based on family history, prone to a million and one different diseases. While there's not much I can do about this I have recently become very lax re: healthy eating and exercising. I accept that I'm never going to be a size 2 but I can be healthier. I need to make taking care of myself a priority.

I recognize that I'm a human being without the benefit of either fairy godmother or glass slipper and, as much as I might like it to, change definitely won't come magically at that stroke of midnight. However, I do have a sparkly tiara, a husband who loves me and thinks I'm beautiful...not in spite of my flaws, but because of them, and a job that, while stressful, is secure.

So, at midnight tonight, instead of thinking of all the things I'd like to change in my life; instead of lamenting the disappointments that visited my doorstep in 2009, I'm going to don my tiara, declare myself the queen of the New Year and have a great time because, really, we can make life changes any time...tonight? Is a time for celebration of all things that are fun and all things that are possible.

What's That Behind the Blog Tree...

2009-12-29T14:15:00.000-06:00

Mood: Harried and hassled (back at work after a long Christmas weekend and have a LOT of stuff to do. It's lunch time so I'm blogging and eating...look at me all multitasking and stuff)

What I'm listening to: Life in a Northern Town by Dream Academy (Viva La 80's!)

Current Word Count: Uh...I've thought about writing, does that count?

We've just come through the Christmas season in my household and, depsite our general anti-social personalities, the hubs and I are actually with it enough to reailze that the season is more about giving than receiving. This awareness keeps us from being forced to sit through those uncomfortable visits from the ghosts of Christmas. Trust me, this is an experience you want to avoid. Christmas past is an absolute downer, Christmas present is okay but a bit unsettling and Christmas future? I don't want to see anything on his radar unless it involves me, a great big pile of money and a pair of size five jeans into which I can actually squeeze more than one of my calves.

Despite doing the whole giving/charity thing, I still can't help getting a thrill everytime someone gives me a gift. I love them...all sparkly, wrapped up and full of possibilities. Sure, it might be a pair of socks but it just might be a new i-pod...who knows?

When I logged into my blog earlier and saw that Laurel over at Laurel's Leaves (seriously, how cool is her name alone?) had left me a gift for my blog I was super excited. Laurel is a YA author and an amazing blogger who manages to seamlessly combine writing tips and tricks, editing issues, general life and her need for a Gilmore Girls book (she really had me at the Gilmore Girls) into one neat and tidy blog. If you haven't checked in at her blog yet you totally should. Really. I mean it.

So, here's my shiny, sparkly new blog bling!

It's the Picasso award and accepting this award requires me to send it along to seven other bloggers and share seven things about myself.

First, the bloggers:

1.) Carol at Carol's Prints (for her unwavering support, her innovative ideas and her amazing sense of humor!)
2.) Sara Fraser at Misadventures of a Modern Mommy (because she's not only surviving motherhood with grace and humor, she's doing it as a writer...also? Because I totally get her desire to punch someone in the supermarket produce section!)
3.) Harley over at her livejournal (for her ability to blog about sarcasm, tackling PTA uber moms, lessons learned at a U2 concert and beer soaked diapers...all on the same page!! The fact that she's a writer is a total bonus here!)
4.) Anne over at Anne Riley (she spells her name with an 'e' which totally appeals to the little girl in me who was, at one time, obsessed with Anne of Green Gables. She's also into giving really good book reviews, writing tips and she's developed a highly scientific means of selecting the winners of her giveaways!)
5.) Jamie over at Bookmom Musings (for her hilarious 'word of the week' entries...which are actual words but seem totally made up; for her random pictures and cartoons that always make me giggle and because she rocked nanowrimo this year!)
6.) Shannon at Ramblings of a Wannabe Scribe (Blog wars, triple dog dares and the weblog debut of "Earth Had a Snack"...what's not to love here. Seriously. You need to go check her out!)
7.) Courtney at Work in Progress (For her amazing writing tips...her spreadsheet alone makes my head spin and her amazing dedication to joining a book club that led her to trying out four or five of them to find a good fit! Also? Her blog is just super cute!)

And now for the 7 random things about me:

1.) I used to be addicted to Days of our Lives. I blame my grandmother and my aunt, but still, the addiction was mine. I haven't watched it in over a decade but I can still tell you what was going on in Salem through most of the 80's and early 90's.

2.) I've never been in an airplane. The mere thought of flying is enough to send me into a panic attack. I blame the disaster made for tv airplane crash movies of the early 80's. Also? I remember watching the news when I was little and it seemed like there was always a plane being hijacked to Cuba or something...I'm sure that didn't help matters any.

3.) I don't like bacon. There, I said it. Most people I know love the stuff and I think it tastes metallic, like blood. Gross!

4.) I work as an administrative assistant in a church. Some people think this would be an easy, stress free job. Those people would be wrong.

5.) I can't stand being around people who make obnoxious noises when they eat. Slurping, smacking your lips, guzzling down a soda like you've been in the desert for the last 40 years? Just no. If the hubs ever turns up with a fork jabbed between his eyes, you'll know why.

6.) As easily irritated as I am, I have amazing patience with people who work retail, fast food and with the public in general. I also have very little patience for customers who are rude to those people. It takes 2 seconds to say "hello" and "thank you" and don't get me started on people in the drive-thru who say "give me..."! They're not your slaves, you can say something more polite like "May I have.." or "I'd like...".

7.) Instead of the 5:30 pm news, I watch TMZ. It's shameful I know but what can I say? I like to think I'm researching the lives of the rich and famous for possible future writing reference but let's face it...I just loves me some celebrity scandal!

Look What I Found Under My Blogging Tree!

2009-12-26T21:21:00.001-06:00

Mood: Exhausted but content. (Long holiday week/weekend has left me worn out but happy!)

What I'm Watching: Keeping Up Appearances (I've said it before and I'll say it again...British comedies rock!)

Current Word Count: UGH! (Which is a nice way of saying that the holiday season has interferred w/ my writing efforts to the point where I might have actually started leaking words from my manuscript.)

Carol over at Carol's Prints (seriously, have you checked out her blog yet? She's amazing!) has presented me with another sparkly piece of blog bling!! WoooHoooo!!! It's totally like Christmas gifts for my blog and I completely love it!

Here it is! And what's not to love? It's an award that looks like a bookshelf and acknowledges my tenuous status as a "blogging writer" (even if it does take me forever to pound out the words).

Like all awards, there are requirements...near as I can tell the requirement for this one is to pass it on! And I will, I promise, but it's been a while since I've blogged so I'm going to set aside the passing along portion of the award ceremonies for a future post. :)

In the meantime, a snapshot of what's been happening in my world:

1.) Christmas bay-beee!!!! I love all things Christmas. The shopping, the carols, the 24 hour marathon showing of A Christmas Story, the food, the gifts and even the eggnog (okay, maybe not the eggnog so much). And this year? We all got a very special gift in the form of my ~~little~~ younger brother who is active USAF. He hasn't been home for Christmas in years and he surprised us all by coming home this year. We're so happy to be able to share the holidays with him!

Here are a few pictures of my Christmas season:

First, the hubs and I dressed and ready for his office Christmas party.

My sister Sarah helping our nephews Max and Maddux with their Christmas gifts. Lots of fun!!!

That's me. No make up, hardly any sleep, and a horrible camera angle for this picture....but I'm still posting it. Why? Because if you look closely you'll be able to see the tape overwrapping my gift. My little brother helped mom wrap it. He used one and a half rolls of tape to "secure" it. The irritated older sister side of me? Wants to bop him upside the head. The smartass side of me? Is incredibly proud that he thought to waste all that tape just to annoy me. Sigh. They grow up so fast!

My niece Miley sleeping through her first Christmas with the family. She's surrounded by boxes and wrapping paper and snoozing away!

Finally, the results of Christmas dinner carb overload! He's completely crashed, half on and half off of the corner chair, complete chaos going on all around him. It's a testament to both my restraint and the fact that we've missed him so much all these years he's been off serving our country that we left him sleep and didn't succumb to any jackassery like decorating him w/ tinsel and lights or at least pulling the old shaving cream in the hand trick. He might not be so lucky next time around!!!

Okay, so I've bored you all enough with Christmas pictures. Santa hubs was nice to me this year and I've got gift cards for clothes and, even better, for books (yay!!!) so I'm looking forward to doing some serious book shopping to feed my book addiction soon!

2.) An attempted terrorist attack on a Detroit bound airliner. What.the.hell?!? Seriously. Luckily the explosives didn't go off as the terrorist has planned and the other passengers jumped in and took the crazy ass bastard down. Gone are the days where we sit silently and wait for someone to save us. We are rising up against those who would harm us and declaring that we will not go quietly into that good night. You want to take my ass down? You're going to have to fight for it! This is also where I have to admit that I'm a bit shocked by my sadistic side because I expect that if I managed to take this guy down I probably would have thrown in a couple of extra punches just to "be sure" that he was really down...and I might have decided that his burns needed to be hosed down with copious amounts of alcohol to ensure that ~~he really felt some serious pain~~ his wounds didn't become infected.

3.) Crazy woman attacks the pope for the second time? On Christmas Eve? Really? I admit, I'm not Catholic. I'm Lutheran by baptism, Baptist by employment and generally a fan of sleep which means that my hiney doesn't often warm a pew on Sunday morning. But still. The Pope? On Christmas Eve? No. Just...No. He may not be my head Holy Guy but he's A head holy guy and I've got to think that attacking a head holy guy on Christmas Eve has got to be something that is going to get you on the permanent naughty list...and I'm not just talking about Santa's list. I'm talking about THE list. The big list. The one that St. Peter reads out when you're standing at the Pearly Gates. Also? This woman did the same thing last year on Christmas Eve. Maybe we need to do something about the amount of crazy being allowed near the Pope? Just saying.

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