30 November 2009

Tis the Season to be Shopping...

Mood: Tired (It was a very long weekend)

What I'm Watching: (Intervention. Seriously, how can someone be taking 3 times the maximum dose of a prescription drug and still insist they're not addicted?)

Current Word Count: 5,221 (yikes! Had to do some majorly ruthless cutting as my story arc decided to take a slightly different direction than the one I had originally planned.)

Black Friday. A day of national insanity that can only be attributed to the copious amounts of carbs consumed on Thanksgiving combined with an extreme need for retail therapy to purge the stress induced by a day spent immersed in the fun family drama that is a happy family holiday.

The hubs and I succumb to this time honored tradition every year, but, having at least two functioning brain cells, you will never find my happy ass waiting in line in the freezing cold at 3 freaking am just so I can save a few dollars on ANYTHING! However, lest I get to feeling too superior, I will drag myself into a store at the crack of 10 am and stand in line for a half hour to do some serious Christmas shopping ($45 gift for $12.99...squeeeeee!!!).

Although, I happily found many bargains in my shopping excursion, I also found myself teetering dangerously near homocidal tendencies as I made my way through crowded store after crowded store. So, in the interest of making Black Friday a more enjoyable shopping experience for everyone (namely me) and keeping people (again, namely me) from going completely ape-shit insane, I propose the following Black Friday Rules for Proper Shopping Etiquette:
  • Parking lots will be crowded. Tempers will be short. Blocking a string of cars in the parking lot so you can wait while someone loads their trunk up with three carts full of stuff? Is just rude. Getting out of your car to yell at me because I won't back up so that you can pull your oversized SUV into said parking space? Makes me question whether or not you have a death wish. Really, Miss 'I can't be bothered to park more than five feet from the entrance of the store', I suggest that you just accept that you're going to have to park in the 'back 40' like the rest of us "common folk" and use the extra exercise to work off that second piece of pumpkin pie that you know you had on Thanksgiving. Seriously.
  • Yes, the lines are long. You knew this when you got into said line that was snaking through the entire length of the store. Whining, fussing, and generally bitching about the length of said line? Not cool. Listen sister, you're young, healthy and thin and if my tired, middle aged, fat ass can stand in line without bitching then so can you. If you can't? I may feel a compulsion to bitch slap you. Fair warning.
  • A word to merchants: After waiting in line that snakes roughly the length of the Great Wall of China to make a purchase you really should offer a snack, a smile and NOT make the customer show a receipt two feet from the checkout where you just watched her pay for her purchases. Best Buy? I'm totally looking at you here. FYI? I totally blew by the receipt checker guy. Go me! I'm such a rebel.
  • Cell phone users stopping in the middle of the main aisles to text your bff's, check your voicemails or update your Facebook status? Just no. Really. No.

The hubs and I no doubt will be out in the insanity again next year but, I have no doubt that, with proper medication and enough pumpkin pie, I will once again be able to avoid actually inflicting bodily harm on those who insist on annoying the holy living crap out of me.


24 November 2009

Blogs and Birthdays

Mood: Excited (was stressed but that was before Carol over at Carol's Prints posted my interview w/ my main character...now I'm totally squeeeee!!!!!)

What I'm Watching: Hoarders (It's a train wreck and I can't help it. Also? Am suddenly overcome with the need to clean out my closets)

Current Word Count: A funny thing happened on my way through my current work in progress. I realized that the environment in which I had placed her was not conducive to the story line. So...it's another re-work in progress before I can go forward.

First things first!!!

Squeeeee!!!! (and not in the Ned Beatty, "paddle faster because I hear banjos" kind of way). If I haven't already mentioned it (I totally know I have but indulge me okay?), I've contributed my very first guest blog post for Carol over at Carol's Prints!!!

Carol is a fantastic writer, a supportive blogger and twitter writing friend and all around amazing person (seriously suspect she has a shiny super hero writer type cape that she dons as she sweeps through the internet).

And now, the rest of the story...(in bullets)

My Birthday:

  • I turned 36. Sigh. That's right. 36. Now when I get those stupid surveys I've aged into the next box up. Now instead of being in the 26 - 35 age group, I'm in the 36 - 50 age group. 36 - 50?!? Really?!? Now I'm lumped in with people my mother's age? What's next, hot flashes and chin hairs?

  • People who wished me a happy birthday before my husband? 90% of my FB friends, many of my twitter friends, my family (even the littlest ones), Scott's sister, the delivery guy who delivered flowers from a wonderful friend, the UPS guy (who saw the flowers), the two people working at the DMV, all my co-workers and several people from the church where I work. At 3:05 pm I finally got a call from the hubs..."guess what I forgot..." No, really?
  • Had to spend the lunch hour on my birthday at the DMV getting my license renewed. Note to self: do NOT chew gum when getting your license photo taken. Green gum stuck in teeth? Not an attractive look. Also? Am totally in love w/ the guy at the DMV because he totally acted like he believed me when I said "sure, that weight listed there is the same". Seriously, he didn't even crack a smile...the man deserves an Oscar!

In other news

  • Am trying to prepare for the annual decking of the halls in the Cowsert household. Unfortunately this involves the hubs cleaning up his electronic "tech" area in the livingroom. Sigh. Am starting to fear that I'm just going to have to toss some tinsel over his soldering station and power supplies and call it a day.
  • Also? Looking at the hubs "tech" area? I realize that he looks suspiciously like a uni-bomber type person. On the other hand? He's dead handy at fixing stuff around the house.


14 November 2009

It's the End of the World as We Know It...

Mood: Tired but Content (spent the day out w/ the hubs having dinner and a movie)

What I'm Watching: COPS (Love me some criminals getting tased!)

Current Word Count: 9,602 (I know, I know, still in a holding pattern...but pen and paper work continues so still counting this week as a writing win!)

Scott and I went to see the movie 2012 today. Honestly? It actually wasn't too bad. Lots of intense action and special effects. It also raised some interesting questions...like, if it really was the end of the world and we had the opportunity to save a select few to restart society, who would be worthy of being saved? Who would be the "best of the best" when it comes to science, art, research, etc. ?

Unfortunately, the list the hubs and I were able to come up with was pathetically small. So far, our "Ark" would contain:
  • Stephen Hawking: Obviously...the guy has more intelligence in one brain cell than I have in my entire frontal lobe.
  • Bill Gates: This one was cause for much debate but let's face it, the guy is a computer genius and I'd really rather not have to go without computers any longer than absolutely necessary.
  • J.K. Rowling: This one was mine. Pure entertainment value. Also added Stephenie Meyer. Again, pure entertainment value. I must have a steady supply of interesting books.
  • Stephen King: The hubs added him. Interesting choice since the hubs isn't much of a reader. Suspect it's the only author that readily came to mind. Still, I allowed it because, dude, it's Stephen King. Quite possibly the only person in the world who could come up with something more freaking scary than the end of the world thereby making reality seem tame and normal by comparison.

Uh, that was it. A 45 minute drive home and we came up with one brilliantly gifted but physically disabled scientist, one billionaire computer nerd and three writers. These are the people we've chosen to rebuild our world. We? Are so screwed. Just saying.


11 November 2009

Expect the Unexpected

Mood: Inspired (my muse seems to have decided that my cold germs have officially left town and so she's speaking to me once again)

What I'm Watching: Ghost Hunters Academy (Ghosts rock. People who hunt ghosts rock. People being trained to hunt ghosts? Seem to be a bit wussy but we'll see)

Current Word Count: 9,602 (I know...the same as the last time. But, I've been working on plot points and character expansion by hand. That's right. When I plot, I go all old school with a pen and paper).

The hubs and I were sitting on the sofa tonight, eating KFC right out of the box in the manner of two lazy, tired, thirty-somethings with no kids and therefore no worries about setting a good example for anyone when one of the hubs many computers turned itself on. Now, we're not talking about bringing itself out of a sleep state or the hard drive spinning up...nope. This computer was completely powered off and it powered itself on.

A hint that we may have lived a little too long in a haunted place? Neither one of us jumped up or freaked out. Scott? Stopped chewing for half a nano-second and shrugged. Me? I was just frustrated and told "Bob" (our ghost) that if he was capable of physically turning on a computer, he could also be capable of doing some housework around here. I mean really, is there any reason for me to come home to a sink full of dirty dishes if he's here all day not really doing anything constructive? I didn't think so!

On a more serious note...

On the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in the year 1918, the guns of WWI fell silent. The "war to end all wars" was over & Nov. 11 became known as Armistice Day, a day when we could celebrate the sacrifices of those who had fought during WWI. Eventually "Armistice Day" gave way to "Veteran's Day". So, on this, the ...11th day of the 11th month, take some time to give thanks to those who keep us free.

funny pictures


08 November 2009

Random Blogginess...Again.

Mood: Blah. (Have to go back to work tomorrow morning)

What I'm Watching: 2012: Startling New Secrets (Quick! Everyone panic!)

Current Word Count: Le Sigh (I've been out all weekend so no real writing has gotten done)

  • After my week from hell, the hubs decided it would be fun to kidnap me and spend a nice evening at a hotel complete w/ hot tub in the room. He gets points for trying, but let's face it friends, anyone who actually reads my blog knows that this simply cannot end well. Let's just say that the evening culminated with a show down in the lobby at 12:15 am as I explained to the desk clerk that sleeping on a sheet that was covered in someone else's *ahem* bodily fluids and excrement was NOT an acceptable state of affairs. (let's not talk about the fact that I'd already sat on the sheet before I realized it's soiled state...not enough hot water in the free world for me to feel clean again!) I also had to explain to him that the appropriate response to the issue was not "we don't have any housekeeping staff here right now but here's a clean sheet set for you, just go change your sheets."

  • I'm all for recycling. Really, I am. I mean, I'm too damn lazy to really do too much about it but I whole heartedly support those who aren't as lazy and uncommitted as I am. However, even I have my limits and this weekend, I discovered them. People? The hubs and I went into a Christmas store and there, on display at the counter, was a tree covered in "recycled" Christmas ornaments. Not a bad idea, right? Until you realize that they were recycled from elephant poo! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, deck your halls with boughs of elephant dung. Right under the tree? Christmas Cards made from recycled cow poo. Nothing says "hey, I love you and want you to have a great holiday season" like sending your friends and family a card made from a big old pile of cow shit.

  • This 2012 stuff is really getting out of hand. Maybe the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012. Maybe the Mayan's really did know something that we don't know but really? I suspect that the guy who was writing the Mayan calendar just got freaking tired and figured that 2012 was far enough in the future and that the next poor bastard could finish the damn thing. At any rate, I'm toying with the idea of planning a Christmas/end of the world party on December 21, 2012...we'll have to wait til the end of the evening to see which way it goes.


06 November 2009

Aren't Vacations Supposed to be Fun?

Mood: Discouraged (Didn't get any writing done this week, despite being on 'vacation'. Also, just got smacked down by someone for a random, fun post about sparkly vampires on Facebook.)

What I'm Watching: Nothing (I know, right? Can anyone believe that I'm not actually watching a single thing on television. Yes, I paid the cable bill.)

Current Word Count: I am not willing to discuss that at this particular moment (meaning I haven't written at all this week)

Today? Is the final day of my vacation, and, even stuck at home, the vacation gods conspire against me. I had plans. I was going to write everyday. I was going to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather. I was going to cook wonderful dinners for my husband every night.

In reality? My week went something like this:

Monday: Still feeling the effects of the cold I'd been fighting for a week. Lots of coughing, hacking, sneezing and generally feeling like crap. Tired, muscle aches, mental confusion (would start to say one thing and end up saying something completely different). Obviously the cold was kicking my butt a bit harder than I'd first anticipated. Writing muse refused to come near me lest she catch my germs. Spent day on couch aimlessly flipping channels. Watched re-runs of Married With Children.

Tuesday: Coughing less, congestion was clearing but still felt like crap on toast. Completely exhausted just by getting up and showered in the morning. I tried to do a little shopping but came home absolutely exhausted and in pain from the effort. Also? Added horrible nausea to my list of symptoms. It was at this point that I realized there was something more going on than just a cold.

Remembered doctor had changed up my medications when I was in to see him last week. Did some mental figuring and realized that my horrible symptoms started about the same time as the med changes. Checked side effects on internet and sure enough: horrible fatigue, muscle pain, muscle weakness, confusion, etc. All listed as potentially dangerous side effects. Also? If you're allergic to sulfa, you're not supposed to take this med...guess who's allergic to sulfa drugs? Houston, we have a problem here...

Called doc. and was told to discontinue meds.

Wednesday: I was stuck on the couch and completely unable to even contemplate cooking the wonderful potroast I'd had planned because the nausea and fatigue were still so overwhelming I couldn't function. However, I did discover that every single Maury show is about some woman trying to prove that some guy is her baby's daddy. Hmmm...

Thursday: More of the same. Feeling slightly more human but still completely worn out. Doctor's office calls back to check on me and says the nasty meds should be out of my system within the next 24 hours. Great. Looking forward to it. Comforted to know that they will now note my chart that I am sensitive to these medications. Ya think? Also realized that MTV's True Life is completely addicting. Wondering if they should do a "True Life: I'm addicted to True Life".

Friday: Today. Sigh. The last day of my vacation week. Definitely feeling more myself. The cold has all but gone, I'm slowly getting my energy back and the nausea? Has left the building. It's a beautiful day outside but I still feel as though I've been hit by a semi truck and my body needs to rest. Realize that watching Dr. Oz is not good for someone who has an over active imagination.

So, there you have it. And this? is why I should never plan a vacation.


01 November 2009

Vacation...All I Ever Wanted????

Mood: Sick (May not exactly be a mood but it's definitely what I feel right now.)

What I'm watching: Gladiator Days: Anatomy of a Prison Murder (Still endlessly fascinated w/ the criminal mind)

Current Word Count: 9,602 (Yes. Yes, it is in fact the same count as last time. Nearly a week ago. Yes, I'm aware I'm a complete slacker - loser type of writer right now. No excuses. To be a writer, I have to write, so let the floggings commence.)

For the first time in three years, I am officially on vacation! I should be excited and, in a way, I definitely am. No going in to the office, no dealing with ringing phones, ringing doorbells, endless rounds of "I need..." and "Can you...?", etc. I need this break. It's essential to my mental health and, quite honestly, the physical well being of the people around me.

However. This is also the first time that I've had meaningful vacation time without the hubs. Because of his layoff and his new job, he won't have vacation time until February. So, for the first time in a long time, I'm facing a long week of having to entertain myself. Yikes! Seriously, the last time this happened the results were not pretty for anyone involved. It's not that I don't like my own company...I do. It's that I get bored easily and, as much as I whine about being lazy, I don't do lazy all that well.

So, in general, my days would go something like this:

6:30 am: Get up w/ the hubs and see him off to work
7:00 am: Toy w/ the idea of going back to bed but decide against it.
7:01 am: Turn on tv.
7:02 am: Realize there's nothing good on tv during the day
7:03 am: Flip through all the channels again, just to confirm there's nothing on.
7:04 am: Check e-mail/facebook/twitter
7:15 am: Flip through channels again, just in case I missed something good. I didn't.
7:20 am: Check bookshelves for unread books. Realize I don't have any. Decide to go to library.
7:30 am: Realize library doesn't open until 9:00 am.
7:31 am: Drive back home to wait for library to open.
7:40 am - 9:00 am: Attempt to write with breaks for flipping channels, checking e-mails, twitter and facebook.
9:00 am: Yay. Finally head to library.
9:15 am: Remember why I never go to our local library...reference books from 1950 anyone?
9:30 am: Leave library, consider calling a friend
9:35 am: Realize all friends are at work.
9:45 am: Back home. Sit on couch and suddenly realize how small, cluttered, dusty and annoying our apartment really is.
10:00 am: Consider doing thourough cleaning, but remind self I'm home to rest...not mount a major cleaning expedition.
10:15 am - 5:30 pm: Alternate attempts at writing with breaks for staring hatefully at my cramped tiny apartment, channel flipping (still nothing good on), and e-mail, twitter and facebook checking.
5:31 pm: The hubs is home. Finally. And I am cranky, irritated and completely out of sorts with boredom and have absolutely nothing to show for the day.

Right. So, this week is going to be different. Partly because the week is not supposed to be a stressful exercise in irritation, but rather a break from the irritation of daily life. Also? The hubs doesn't want to come home to lunatic wife ranting about small spaces, cluttered closets and the Jerry Springer Show.

I'm definitely planning to get some significant writing done but I also need external stimulation or my brain goes numb, I get cranky and the writing? It doesn't work so well. So, I desperately need some ideas people...what would you do with a week to yourself during the day?