31 July 2009

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

Mood: Stuffed (really, we just ate dinner and it's the only thing I can think right now...I ate way too much!)

What I'm watching: The Simpsons (Was never allowed to watch this as a child...mom thought that Bart was a bad influence...I consider this delayed rebellion but I totally heart the Simpsons!)

Dear Hollywood:

Are you completely out of original ideas? The occasional remake, I can forgive. Once in a while bringing a television show to the big screen...most of the time this is a grievous error but somewhat understandable, after all, sometimes we all get a little lazy and phone it in. But really? Remaking Footloose, The Karate Kid, The Birds, Fame, AND Friday the 13th (honestly? After 5 million sequels haven't we all had enough of Jason Voorheis?)? Isn't that just shameful, unmitigated laziness?


A disgruntled movie goer.

Also? This could be cc'd to the fashion industry, only, of course, substituting the reintroduction of leggings under tulle crinoline skirts, leg warmers, jelly shoes, crimped hair, neon splashed clothing, airbrushed t-shirts, plaid pleated skirts and the side ponytail for the litany of movie re-makes. Honestly? I'm one mall bang and slouch sock sighting away from thinking I've fallen into a time warp back to 1985!

And what's really sad about the whole situation is that I'm old enough to sigh and shake my head at an entire generation of kids young enough to think that the movies are new and the fashions are trendy.

21 July 2009

Craptastic Neighbors

Mood: Frustrated (Writing is not always as easy as one might think).

What I'm watching: Hell's Kitchen (I totally heart Chef Ramsay, especially when he throws someone out of the kitchen within the first hour of the new season!).

To the people across the hall:

I understand that the storage options in our small apartments are extremely limited but piling random bits of your crap overflow into the communal hallway? NOT cool. And, why is it that every morning/evening there's a different pile of crap? It's like your apartment is some sort of crap filled clown car!

Also? You smoke. A LOT. So, walking by a stack of boxes, a large bag of dirty clothes and an old mattress (can I just say GROSS!?!) surrounded by an overwhelming cloud of stale, cheap cigarette smoke just to get in and out of our home? NOT acceptable!


Your neighbor (who is desperately trying to find something in the terms of our lease that protects us from the craptastic overflow from neighboring apartments.)

16 July 2009

The Short List is Getting Longer Everyday!

Mood: Worn Out (this week has already lasted a year and it's only Thursday morning)

What I'm listening to: "Our Song" by Taylor Swift (What can I say, I still have a tiny bit of country running through my veins).

I have a new addiction: McDonald's Sweet Tea. YUMMMM!!! So, this morning (having scrounged the necessary $1.06 out of my change tray), I was in line at the drive thru looking for my morning fix. I placed my order, handed over my money and was waiting patiently when the person in the large, obnoxious, diesel guzzling pick up behind me decides that it's taking too long and starts honking his horn. Uh, moron? Honking your horn at me is not going to make the process go any faster because, you know, I'm not the one actually making the food/drinks here. Honestly, what did this genius expect me to do? Crawl through the window and make my own tea?

He's definitely on my list today.

Also on my short list recently?

Cigna insurance: Sending me a request for additional information on a possible pre-existing condition? No problem. Refusing to tell me what that pre-existing condition is? Completely moronic. How am I supposed to answer all your stupid questions if I don't even know what the hell you're talking about???

My step-daughter's summer camp: Cancelling camp due to the swine flu was probably a very good idea. Cancelling it at the last minute, annoying. Deciding to go ahead and get all the campers together for a single day anyway...well, doesn't that defeat the idea of NOT having all them gathered in the same place so as to minimize the chance of spreading infection?!?

The Radiologist: He sent me a bill for $1.00. A lousy dollar. Now, it's not that I mind paying the dollar. It's a dollar. But really? By the time he pays to print the bill, have someone fold and stuff it, then pays the postage on that bill...well, it's going to end up costing him at least 20¢ to collect my dollar. Is it bad that I briefly considered making two payments of 50¢ each?

North Korea: Seriously? Get over yourself.

Giordano's Pizza on Rush Street, Chicago: Obviously they watched the 'Soup Nazi' episode of Seinfeld one too many times. 3 hours of waiting outside on a hot, muggy day in the city only to be seated 2 feet from the guy screaming names into the loudspeaker? NOT an ideal dining experience. FYI? The PA system is meant to prevent the need to scream! Scott says this was all worth it because Giordano's has the.best.pizza.ever (mind you, this is the same man who once refused to wait 30 minutes to eat at a place I really like). I say Scott needs his head examined because, by the time we got served, I was so: tired, cranky, hot, annoyed and headachy I just wanted to hurt someone. badly. No pizza is worth that mess.

Adults who insist on acting like spoiled children: GROW UP! I'm not your mother, your father or your nanny. I'm not responsible for you in any way. If you don't get something done, that's not my problem. If you get your feelings hurt, learn to deal with it. If you look for reasons to be offended, expect to be offended and I will assume that you enjoy being offended. If you don't like the way something is going, figure out a way to change it. Acting like a spoiled brat and throwing a fit because things aren't going your way? NOT ACCEPTABLE. Also? If you are going to insist on acting like a three year old, pouting and having a fit? Don't be surprised if you find yourself sitting in the time out corner until you can behave appropriately!

Seriously? Some days I wonder why I don't end up under my desk, curled in a small ball, eating my own hair.